Fire & Ice
by SocialShay3
Summary: Everyone at Firehouse 51 believes the tension between Lt. Matt Casey and Lt. Kelly Severide is due to Darden's death. Nobody knew the friendship began to sever when Matt's sister moved away after Kelly broke her heart. Matt is thrilled she is returning to Chicago after 5 years. But what does this mean for Kelly who has been haunted by the night she left for 5 years?
1. Prolouge

**Prologue**

Tricia took a deep breath trying to mentally prepare her-self before answering the door. She knew exactly what waited for her on the other side. It was the one thing she had tried to put off for as long as she could since coming home. But now it was here—he was here, on her doorstep and she had to face him.

"Kelly," She said barely above a whisper with a tight smile and trying her best to reign in her emotions as she opened the door slightly and stood in the door way blocking him from looking into the house. She didn't want him to see the range of feelings that attacked her at seeing him again; especially after so long.

"You don't look surprised to see me," he said looking down at her and studying her face. She had changed so much in the past five years; she looked older, her face thinner and more angular, her cheek bones more prominent, her brown locks longer falling almost to the middle of her back is soft waves, and her ruby lips fuller.

What really drew him in were her chocolate brown eyes. He loved those eyes; he spent many a night dreaming about them since she left. He used to see his future in those eyes; they were the window to her soul and many times he believed they were the window to his soul as well.

"Took you long enough," she said with a half-smile looking past him and into the night in order to avoid looking directly at him. She was trying to protect herself from the emotions she spent the past five years running away from. "Matt said he told you to stay away—almost thought you started listening to him," she told him dropping her eyes to the ground, her voice breaking at the end. When she finished she had to swallow the lump in her throat and try once again to reign in her reaction to him being at her door.

"Ahh come on, you know me better than that," he replied cockily crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the side of the house. "I've never listened to him before, not about to start now."

Tricia nodded her head and let out a sigh before looking up at him again. "You should've," she told him this time blinking back tears. She refused to let him see her cry, but it was becoming a difficult feat for her to accomplish.

She saw hurt and anger flash across Kelly's face before it turned to something else but before she could decipher it or allow him to speak she stepped further into her home and kept a firm hand on the door. She looked over her shoulder and into the house for a minute before turning back to Kelly who was looking over her head trying to see what captured her attention. Tricia pulled the door even closer to her effectively cutting off Kelly's view of her home.

"You shouldn't have come here," she told him her voice now laced with anger, "you need to go."

Confused by the sudden shift in her mood, Kelly searched her face trying to find out where all of her abrupt hostility was coming from. If anyone had the right to be angry it was him.

"I'm not the one who left," He told her gaining her attention once again. "That's on you. You wanted to go to some fancy school on the east coast; U of C wasn't good enough for you. You didn't call or write… _you left not me_."

Tricia scoffed as she looked up at him, fire in her eyes. "Funny thing about phones Severide—they work both ways, and I don't seem to recall mine ringing very often."

She didn't miss the way he flinched when she addressed him as Severide. She knew that would get under his skin. It was a large part of the reason as to why she did it. More times than not, people addressed him by his surname rather than his first. Not her though—never her. She always called him Kelly.

She used to tell him it was weird calling him by his last name when they knew each other so well. Once he overheard her tell a friend how it annoyed her when fire flies who would hang around hoping for a chance to spend the night in his bed, addressing him by his last name as if they knew him. She never wanted to be like one of them. They didn't care about his tortured child hood or the physical illness he felt just by looking at a bottle of vodka ever since a bad drinking experience with it. They didn't know that he was fiercely protective of the people he love or that he longed to have a family and be a father. They didn't have a clue about the sleepless nights he spent trying to figure out how to support said family on a fireman's salary. They might have caught glimpses of Severide—the strong, rash, and brazen firefighter. They were attracted to his strong jaw line and perfectly sculpted abs. Or the heroic aspects of his career but they didn't know Kelly.

He usually hated when people called him by his first name, but when she did it was like they were in their own world. He didn't have to be the big strong protector he had become known as, he could just be himself. He knew she hated his job. That she worried about him every time he left for work. He knew she was terrified every time and the phone would ring or the story of a fire would flash up on the TV when he was on shift. He also knew she only tolerated it because it was what he loved and she loved him. It was one of the things he loved about her the most—he didn't have to hide his flaws or emotions, she accepted and loved him in spite of them all. No one ever understood him or owned his heart the way she did. When she left he was completely heart broken.

"You're right—I left, that's on me," she said her voice filled with the emotion she had been trying to avoid showing him. "But you were supposed to come with me and you didn't—_that's on you_."

Kelly looked at her his eyes brimming with tears, her words cut him like a knife. The moment paralyzed him as he stood there not knowing how to respond to her.

As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She knew how much they would hurt him. That had been her intention when she let them slip through her lips. But after seeing his reaction, she knew it was the wrong thing to do. They were both angry and hurt and she wasn't going to gain anything by reminding him of the mistakes they made in the past. And she knew they were both at fault.

"I'm sorry," she whispered before looking up at him. "I can't do this…this back and forth trying to hurt each other….I can't do it. Look, Chicago's a big city, I remember all the old hang outs—I'll stay away."

Kelly lifted her chin with his finger forcing her to look him in the eyes. His eyes were saying what he couldn't, they were pleading with her not to do this. Begging her to take him back and fall right back into the way they used to be. But Tricia knew that couldn't happen, they weren't the same people they were five years ago.

Tricia brushed off his hand and shook her head, on the verge of tears for the untempt time that evening. "Don't come here again," she half said half pleaded.

Tricia took one more look at him before stepping all the way inside her home and shutting the door. Once inside she leaned up against the door allowing her head to fall back against it. She brought a hand to her mouth as she let out a small sob, seconds away from completely losing her composure.

"Mommy," she heard a small voice call from the next room making her pull herself together quickly as she heard two small feet come down the hall.

"Yeah baby," she answered with a smile.

"Who at the door?" Asked a little girl with a head full of chocolate brown curls.

"No one," she answered picking up the child and heading for the playroom, hoping to distract her little girl with a room full of toys.


	2. Drop It

The only good thing about Hurricane Sandy is that it got me out of work today so I was able to finish this chapter earlier than expected. Thanks so much for the reviews and support it means a lot to me. I have already started to work on chapter 2 so hopefully I will be able to post it soon. Hope everyone on the East Coast that is being affected by Hurricane Sandy is staying safe!

**Chapter 1**

Matt opened his locker with a heavy sigh pulling his bag out and taking a seat on the bench in between the lockers. It had been a long day. They were called to a couple of car accidents and a minor house fire. And although he was ready for his shift to be over, he was dreading what he had to deal with once he got home.

Hallie was still mad at him about the house. Of course she was right that once he had finished all the work he was hesitant to sell it. There had been a few offers that would have paid off all the money he put into it and given him a significant portion to add to his saving account, but he just couldn't find it in himself to sell it. Despite what he told Hallie about putting off major decisions and just living everyday like it was their last, Matt still thought about starting a family. And when he pictured that, he pictured them in that house—the one he poured his heart and soul into.

That's why he was so happy about the solution he had come up with. He was able to find a trustworthy tenant who was willing to cover all of the homes expenses. All he had to do was continue to pay down the mortgage. He thought it was a perfectly reasonable solution; Hallie didn't. She felt that by keeping the home, Matt was pressuring her into giving up her career and having a family. She would have preferred him to get rid of it all together. Matt didn't see it that way and he definitely couldn't get rid of it now, especially not when the perfect tenant he found was his baby sister.

This is what brought him to the other reason he was dreading going home tonight. As much as he loved his sister and he was thrilled that she moved back home, he had been on edge ever since her return. Tricia had been gone for over five years and her departure hadn't been without its controversy, which meant her homecoming was most likely going to be polemic as well.

Hallie was already nagging him constantly about the secrecy they being held to. And while he understood her frustration, he also felt a strong need to protect his sister. It was bad enough that the new candidate at the firehouse had seen them together the other night.

_(Flashback to several nights prior)_

_It had only been a few nights since Tricia had gotten back into town, she was working hard trying to decorate the house and get everything together before starting work the following week. She was exhausted from the move and the time change, which even though it was only an hour really threw her off schedule after a few days. When Hallie asked her to go to dinner with her and Casey, Tricia had been extremely reluctant to agree but between Hallie's insistence and her parent's encouragement she found herself in a trendy Chicago restaurant with her brother and his fiancé. _

_They were having a drink while they waited for their table when Matt spotted Peter Mills and his girlfriend on the other side of the bar. He tried his best to stay out of their view but when the hostess came over to direct them to their table they had to walk directly past them. And there was no way to avoid being spotted by Mills. _

"_Lt. Casey," Peter said as he got up from the bar stool he was occupying and approached Matt. _

"_Mills," Matt responded with a tight smile. Nodding at Hallie and Tricia to continue following the hostess. But before they could move around him Peter introduced his girlfriend addressing both Matt and Hallie. _

"_Lieutenant this is my girlfriend Sasha. Sasha this is my boss Lt. Casey and his fiancé Hallie, she's a doctor over at Lakeshore. And this is...I'm sorry I don't know you're name," Peter said to Tricia, trying to be polite. _

_Matt tensed immediately, sending a glare in Mills direction. He knew it wasn't Peter's fault but he couldn't help the anger he felt when the new candidate directed the conversation towards her. He knew it was irrational but he also knew what would happen once certain people at the fire house knew she was in town and he wanted to put that off for as long as possible. _

_He was just about to introduce her as a friend when he heard his fiancé speak._

"_Oh this is Matt's younger sister Tricia. She was living in Boston for a few years but she just moved back," Hallie said with a smile as she wrapped her arm around a now tense Tricia who shot a nervous glance towards her brother who looked like he was ready to kill his future wife. _

_Peter saw the looks that passed between Tricia and Matt and he suddenly felt out of place, almost like he walked in on something he shouldn't have seen. But before he could politely apologize and allow the group to be on their way his girlfriend interrupted him. _

"_Really? I used to live in Boston, I went to BC," Sasha said to Tricia with an overly friendly smile trying to start a conversation. _

_Tricia threw one last glance to her brother before giving Peter's girlfriend her attention. "Ahhh yeah," she said with a forced smile "I..umm..I went to BU, but it's a great city. Go Patriots," she said raising her fists half way up in an attempt to muster up some enthusiasm. _

"_You a football fan?" Peter asked._

"_Only on Sundays," Tricia joked with a slight laugh._

"_It was nice to meet you Sasha, but I think we ought be heading over to our table now," Matt said finding a nice way to excuse them from the conversation. _

_Hallie and Tricia exchange pleasantries with Peter and Sasha about how nice it was to meet each other before following the hostess to their table. _

_Matt hung back for a minute after both of the women were gone. "Mills," he said with a nod to the far corner of the bar area. Peter followed him over to the secluded area of the bar._

"_Look Mills, I like you. You're doing a great job and I'd really like to keep you on board, but you tell one person you met my sister or that she's back in town…well let's just say Otis wouldn't be the only one making your life a living hell," Matt threaten trying his best to intimidate the younger man. _

_Peter swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head, "Ok," he agreed. _

_Matt gave him a hard stare and a nod before walking away, leaving a somewhat scared and confused candidate in his wake. _

~ooOoo~

Matt shakes his head to rid himself of the memory and grabs his stuff ready to head out. He was walking past the kitchen when he heard several of the guys talking about him.

"I heard Casey was out the other night with some hot young thing who definitely wasn't his fiancé," Otis said while grabbing a drink from the fridge. "My buddy said she was a hot little thing too, smokin' body."

"You think he's stepping out on Hallie?" Cruz asked slightly surprised. He had never seen Casey as that kind of guy but anything was possible.

"He wouldn't be the first guy to do it," Otis replied. "And this chick was definitely younger than Hallie. She had long dark brown hair, legs for days…"

"I think you two need to stop gossiping like a' bunch of old ladies," Herrmann recommended "besides what Casey on his own time is none of your business."

"So you think he'd do it Herrmann?" Otis asked not taking the veterans advice.

"I told you what I think," Herrmann said with a pointed stare.

"Knock it off Otis, it was his sister," Mills said coming toe Matt's defense without thinking, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.

"Casey has a sister?" Otis asked surprised.

"He's never mentioned her and she's never come around here before? And how do you know about her Mills?" Cruz asked.

"It's none of your business," Herrmann said once again leading the men to believe he may know something they don't.

Matt understood that Peter was trying to defend him and his relationship with his fiancé but he was still furious with the candidate that he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He had just opened Pandora's Box and now Matt had to work overtime to try and close it again. Matt looked up at Herrmann who shrugged his shoulder before picking up a newspaper and making his way over to the couch.

Herrmann had already been working at the firehouse when both Matt and Kelly started there. He knew some of the history between them but not all of it. What he did know was that Kelly had been dating Matt's sister for a while but shortly after Kelly made squad she stopped coming around and neither Matt nor Kelly ever talked about her at the firehouse again. He always figured that, as young love often does—the relationship didn't end well.

Although Kelly always tried his best to hide it, Herrmann could remember how affected he was by whatever has happened between the two of them. After making squad he threw himself into his work, he made getting the promotion to lieutenant a top priority. He had also become very guarded, a mere shell of his former self. Herrmann also took notice of how after that Kelly never had a serious relationship. He had always assumed the two men had an unspoken agreement not to bring it up in order to remain professional and so that it didn't interfere with their work. Out of respect for them he never asked about it. But he had a feeling neither Matt nor Kelly would be happy to hear the other guys talking about her, which was why he tried to calmly put a stop to it.

"Hey Lieutenant," Cruz said as he spotted Matt by the kitchen door. "Why didn't you tell us you had a sister?"

"Tricia's in town?" said a strong yet somewhat strained voice from the back of the room. Matt's head snapped in the direction of the voice only to find Kelly staring at him with hard eyes demanding an answer. The men had been so busy with the conversation that none of them had noticed Kelly when he walked into the kitchen. Everyone in the room looked on as the one time friends engaged in a heated staring contest. Most of them not knowing what was causing the tension between the two men.

"Just passin' through on business," Matt said in a warning tone. "She'll be gone in the morning."

"But," Peter said more to himself than anyone else. Herrmann, realizing that getting in between these two men was the last thing the new candidate should do, quickly put a hand on Peter's shoulder to stop him. He was a second too late as Kelly had already noticed Peter's slip up and the warning looks Matt was sending in the new candidate's direction. Instead of responding, Kelly dipped his head before taking one more look at Matt. He gave him a small nod and then left the kitchen.

Matt waited until he was sure that Kelly had left before he picked up his bag from where he had dropped it on the floor beside him and left without another word.

"What the hell was that?" Otis asked as the other guys as they all looked around at each other thoroughly confused.

"I tried to tell you," Herrmann said shaking his head. "If you know what's good for you, you'll drop it," he warned before he too left the room.


	3. Playing with Fire

**Another day off of work today, which means I was able to work on the next chapter. Thanks for all of the support I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

Shay came down the stairs to find Kelly once again sitting on the coach, sports center on the T.V., and him looking off into space. It was how she had found him every morning for the past few days and she was starting to worry about him.

It had been three days since Kelly had overheard the guys from the truck talking about Tricia. He hadn't been able to sleep since then. He had spent years building up walls to protect himself and all it took was one little mutter of her name to send him back into the spiral he was in when she left. Ever since that night his mind was constantly flooded by his memories of her—good, bad and ugly.

"Hey," Shay said as she grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured herself a cup of coffee.

Kelly either ignored her presence or didn't even realize she was there as he stayed unmoving in his place. After fixing her coffee the way she like it, Shay walked over to join him on the couch. She bumped his shoulder motioning him to move over and then taking the seat beside him.

"What's going on?" She asked, her voice filled with concern for her friend and roommate. "You know you can talk me, right? Whatever's going on, we can figure it out together."

Kelly said nothing but dropped his head and ran his hands across his face with a sigh. He knew that Shay meant well, but at the moment all he wanted was to be left alone. As much as his friends had tried, no one understood what he was going through five years ago and he doubted that anyone would understand what he was feeling now. He knew there was something that wasn't being said the other night and he had every intention of finding out what that was.

"Thanks for the offer but I have to get to work," Kelly gave her a pat on the leg as he got up from the couch. Shay reached out and grabbed his forearm effectively stopping him in his tracks.

"Your shift doesn't start for another hour," Shay told him in an attempt to get him to stay and talk to her.

"I got something I have to," he replied making his way to the stairs.

Shay watched him until he was out of sight and then grabbed her bag searching for her cell phone. She was going to find out what was going on with Kelly weather he liked it or not.

~ooOoo~

"Tell me again why we had to come down to the station almost 45 min before our shift starts?" Gabrielle asked her partner as the two girls wondered around the locker room quietly. Gabrielle wasn't sure why Shay had insisted they be so early for their shift but if her partner needed her help she would be there for her.

"Shhh," Shay scolded quietly lifting a finger to her lips. After looking around to make sure they were alone, she grabbed Gabrielle's arm and pulled the girl to sit next to her on the bench in front of Kelly's locker, while she got to work on putting in the combination. "Something's been going on with Severide lately. He won't talk to me about it but..."

"But you're going to snoop around his locker until you find out anyway," Gabrielle interrupted giving her a pointed look. "I know he's your roommate and you guys are close and everything, but don't you think if he wanted you to know what's going on he would tell you?"

Shay started to answer respond to her but was cut off by footsteps coming into the locker room. The two girls froze in their places for a moment until they heard a locker opening a few aisles away from them. They both let out the breath they had been holding and Gabrielle grabbed Shay's arm causing her to drop the lock.

"This is not a good idea Shay," she whispered in a harsh tone. "Severide will kill us if he finds out we're snooping around in his stuff. Come on, the guys are going to be here soon, we need to get out of here now."

Shay nodded her head in agreement knowing that Gabrielle was right, and they started to get up to leave when they heard his voice, shooting each other panicked looks they both ducked, crouching behind the lockers in order to stay out of sight.

"Mills," Kelly said in a demanding tone, trying his best to be intimidating.

"Lt. Severide," the younger man replied with a slightly frighten look, while glancing around only to realize they were alone.

"The other night, when Casey said his sister was only in town for the day, you looked like you had something to say. What do you know about Tricia?" he commanded more than asked.

"I don't…I don't know anything," he stammered nervously.

"Cut the bull Mills, I _know_ you know something. And if you ever even want me to consider giving you a spot on squad you're going to tell me what that is right now," Kelly warned him.

Peter stood frozen in front of his locker; he knew that telling Kelly what he knew would upset Matt. But he also knew that Kelly was dead serious, and if he ever wanted a spot on the rescue squad he couldn't afford to piss of the Lieutenant standing in front of him. Besides after the other night, everyone at the firehouse already knew about Matt's sister. Sure they didn't know why she was back in town or how long she planned to be here for, not even he held that information. But he figured it was only a matter of time before they found out. So he relented and gave Kelly all the info he had.

"Look I'll tell you what I know, but it's not much." Peter told him. "I was out with my girlfriend for dinner last week, I saw Casey at the restaurant. He was with Hallie and another girl I didn't recognize. I stopped him when they walked past me to introduce him to my girlfriend. I didn't know who the other girl was but Hallie introduced her as Matt's sister. Hallie said she just moved back here from Boston."

Kelly's tough façade faltered for a second when he heard that. "Moved back," he repeated barely above a whisper.

"I don't know why or how long she's here, all I know is that she was in Boston before coming back to Chicago. My girlfriend went to BC…Casey's sister said she went to BU so they talked about that," Peter told him.

Kelly was thankful for the information, even though her being in Boston wasn't new to him, and he still got the feeling that Peter was withholding something. "What aren't you telling me?" he demanded.

Peter swallowed nervously before going on, "Casey…When Hallie told me it was his sister and she just moved back, Casey got really pissed and his sister looked nervous as hell. I got the feeling something else was going on but I don't what it was." Peter explained. "All I know is that after the girls went to their table, Casey told me not to mention anything about his sister or what Hallie told me to anyone at the station."

"Yeah," Kelly said with a scoff as he banged his fist against a locker. "Casey would tell you that," he muttered as he walked away.

Kelly quietly started to make his way towards his locker, leaving Peter to question whether or not he had just done the right thing as he left the locker room.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Kelly asked in annoyance as he approached his locker only to find both Shay and Dawson crouched in between the lockers and the bench. "Were you spying on me?"

Both Shay and Gabrielle looked up at him shocked that they hadn't heard him as he drew near them.

"Shit," muttered Shay as Gabrielle whispered "I told you," to her partner.

"Are you kidding me Shay? I tell you I don't want to talk about it, so this is what you do?" Kelly asked in a tone mixed with annoyance and anger.

"Oh come off it Severide," Shay responded. "We just heard you threaten the new kid, now you're gonna what, stand here and give a lesson on morals?"

"My conversation with Mills has nothing to do with either of you, and neither one of you need to go running your mouth about it to anyone. You hear me?" Kelly said not giving either woman a chance to argue.

"Yeah," Gabrielle said as she gave Kelly a nod. She then told Shay she would meet her by the ambo when she was finished.

"Kelly," Shay said looking up at her friend and roommate. "I know who she is. I was there after she left. I know how you handled it. I don't want to see you go through that again."

"I know you think you're helping Shay, but you don't know what you're talking about," Kelly said throwing his guard up. "I don't get involved in shit you got going on with Kim or that new southern chick you've been bringing around. Don't get involved in this. You hear me? I'm _not_ asking Shay."

Shay gave him a hard stare before letting out a sigh and shaking her head. "You're playing with fire Severide," she warned.

"Then I'm lucky I'm good at my job," he said before he walked away leaving Shay by herself in the locker room.

~ooOoo~

Gabrielle was cleaning the back of the ambulance when she saw Matt walking onto the floor ready to start his shift.

"Casey," she called getting his attention.

"Hey Dawson," he greeted with a smile. "How's it going?"

"Good…Good," she responded "you got a minute?"


	4. Stay Away

**I am updating a little early because I decided to split this into two chapters and this part was complete. Thanks for all the reviews and follows I appreciate the support and am glad you guys like it so far. **

**Chapter 3**

Gabrielle started to walk into the driveway, so they were out of earshot from everyone in the firehouse.

Matt looked around confused but followed her anyway.

"What's going on?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

"I probably shouldn't say anything….but," she paused for a moment and looked over at the firehouse debating whether or not she should tell him what she overheard earlier.

"What?" Matt asked starting to get worried.

"I was in the locker before…Severide laid into Mills pretty hard, he was trying to get information about your sister," she told him.

Gabrielle could see the furry burning in his eyes as he registered what she had just told him. Before she knew what was happening Matt turned around and went storming into the firehouse.

"Where's Severide?" He commanded through clenched teeth when he saw some squad members sitting around playing cards outside the equipment room.

"I think he's in the kitchen," Vargas answered as they all looked around at each other nervously.

They got up to follow Casey as he went storming into the kitchen. The men were used seeing heated spats between the two lieutenants, but no one had ever seen Casey look as murderous as he did in that moment. It had them all questioning what Severide did to put him in such a state.

Matt went charging into the kitchen, ignoring the whispers and questioning looks from everyone around him. He only had eyes for Severide in that moment and his determination would not allow his focus to shift for even a second.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Matt boomed as he got in Kelly's face.

"Excuse me," Kelly responded slightly surprised but standing up straighter getting ready to defend him-self if need be.

"Don't play dumb, you know what I'm talking about," he said through gritted teeth.

"You didn't really think you could hide it forever, did you Casey?" Kelly sneered.

"You want to know something, you come to me. Leave my guys alone." Matt said angrily.

"Oh yeah, and what would you have said?" Kelly questioned.

"She doesn't want to see you," Matt told him.

"Don't you think that should be her decision?" Kelly asked.

"_It_ _is. _Stay the hell away from her Severide," Matt spat with as much venom as he could muster. He saw Kelly's face falter for a moment before he threw his guard back up.

The two men spent another moment staring at each other with hard eyes, neither one wanting to be the first to falter. After a few minutes Matt turned around and left the kitchen. He went straight to his office where he locked himself away to finish the rest of his shift, while he left Kelly in the kitchen to deal with all of the prying eyes and gossiping men.

"What are you looking at?" Kelly boomed as he looked around at everyone staring, obviously trying to figure out what was going on between him and Matt, before he too stormed out of the room.

"You just _had _to tell him," Shay said shaking her head at her partner as they leaned against the wall in the back of the room where they had just watched the exchange between the lieutenants.

Gabrielle shrugged with a sigh as they both left the kitchen and went back to the ambulance to finish taking inventory.

~ooOoo~

Matt walked into his apartment after his shift completely exhausted. He'd had a long day and the argument with Severide hadn't helped at all.

"Hey baby," his fiancé greeted from her place lounging on the sofa.

"Hey," Matt responded as he walked over, bending down to give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"How was your day?" she asked as he dropped his bag on the floor and took a seat next to her, grabbing her legs and placing them in his lap.

"Fine…typical," he answered leaning forward to pick up the stack of mail that was on the coffee table.

"So it's typical for you and Kelly to go after each other in the middle of the fire house?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"How did you hear about that?" he sighed tossing the mail back on the table and sitting forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

Hallie lifted her legs from his lap and moved closer to him, rubbing her arm across his back. "I overheard a couple of nurses talking about it before I left," she told.

"Jesus," Matt sighed falling back into the cushions. "Is there anything Otis _doesn't _tell his girlfriend?" he said more to himself than to anyone else.

"So…" Hallie prompted after a few minutes of silence.

Matt turned his head to the side to look at her, not really knowing what to say. He knew they needed to have this conversation but he really didn't want to have to do it tonight. Actually if he was being honest with himself he never wanted to have this conversation, not with Hallie, and especially not when he should have already had it with his sister.

After everything that happened between him and his sister, he just was so happy to have her back in his life. He never pushed her for more information than she was willing to give. He always took what she said at face value, he believed her because he didn't want to believe the alternative. Now he wasn't so sure if that was the right thing to do.

"Well…" Hallie said again in an attempt to get him to open up.

"I just…I just hate him for what he did to her," Matt admitted with a heavy sigh. "Her leaving…cutting everyone off…he did that."

"Matt," Hallie sighed. "You can blame him, and it might make things easier deal with, but you and I both know this isn't his fault."

"Do we?" He questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah we do," Hallie told him getting annoyed. "Your sister is a big girl and she made her own decisions—she's the first person that will tell you that. You can't keep going around with a chip on your shoulder or blaming Kelly for her situation. Besides she's moved on—she doing good now. She's got a great job….she moved back here to be closer to you and your parents, why can't you just be happy with that."

"Oh come on, you know she didn't move back here for us," Matt said with a huff. "I just feel like she's always holding something back when comes to him."

"So what if she is. You always told me they had a complicated relationship. There's bound to be things she doesn't want to talk about, especially with you," Hallie told him.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Matt asked getting irritated.

"It means how many times are you going to ask her about K.C. before you start to believe her," Hallie said in a tiff.

"You don't understand," Matt said giving up.

"I'm trying to," she defended. "And you don't have any right to talk about your sister not being the one to open up, when you continue to shut me out."

This was why he didn't like discussing his sister with Hallie; she never understood where he was coming from. And right now he resented that she was throwing his words in his face. He knew if he stayed they would only continue to fight and he wasn't in the mood for that tonight. So he shrugged her arm off his shoulder, grabbed his jacket and made his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked him getting annoyed.

"I am not going to stay here and continue a conversation that's only going too led to a fight," he told her as he put one hand on the door knob. "I'll be back later," he said. And with that he was gone.

"Great," Hallie mumbled as she fell back on the couch cushions frustrated that they never seemed to make progress when it came to the topic of his sister.

She sat there for a few minutes before she too got up and grabbed her things. "Fine Matt," she muttered to herself as she left the apartment, "If you don't want to talk to me about this, I'll find someone who will."

**AN: Next Update will be sometime on Saturday or Sunday…Here's a sneak peak at what you can look forward to….Matt runs into a friend who helps him open up about his sister and we learn more about Kelly and Tricia's relationship. **


	5. What Happened

**Thanks for the support and reviews! I'm really enjoying writing this so I appreciate hearing about how many of you are enjoying reading it!**

**Chapter 4 **

After leaving the apartment, Matt found himself at his favorite bar having a beer. He was so frustrated with the entire situation. He knew he was probably being unfair to Hallie, but she just didn't understand his position. She wasn't there; she didn't see the two of them after the break-up. He knew that he kept using his sister as an excuse, telling Hallie that he wanted to protect her from getting hurt again. But if he was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure who he was trying to protect more, his sister or Kelly.

Whether Tricia had told him the truth or not wasn't even the issue anymore. There was only one way he saw this ending and it left two of the people he cared about the most heartbroken.

He hadn't been a witness to how Tricia handled the break-up, but from what he was told, it certainly wasn't good. And Kelly…Kelly was a different story; he watched his self- destruction. Hell, it had been five years and he was still witnessing it.

Over the years he'd questioned a lot of things about their relationship but the one thing he never questioned was that they loved each other. He still caught glimpses of those feelings too. Like today, Kelly only faltered for a few seconds, but it was enough for Matt to see the hurt in his eyes when he told him it was Tricia's choice to stay away from him.

Matt was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice when someone slid into the booth, taking the seat across from him.

"Got a lot on your mind?" a soft voice asked interrupting his thoughts.

Matt looked up surprised to see Gabrielle sitting across from him with a soft smile on her face.

"Yeah," Matt replied starting to peel the label off the bottle in front of him.

"Does it have anything to do with what happened earlier?" she asked not really looking for an answer. His reaction this afternoon was enough to tell her that it was weighing heavily on him.

"I'm sorry," she said causing Matt to look up at her slightly confused. "I didn't mean to upset you or bring up old feelings. I just thought you'd want to know," Gabrielle told him sincerely.

She hadn't meant any harm in telling him. If she had known he was going to react like that she probably wouldn't have told him. Actually, she probably would have. She wasn't sure what she would have done, but she had an intense need to do whatever would make him happy. But lately it seemed like she was always making the wrong decision when Matt was involved.

"Don't worry about it Dawson," he said with a half-smile hoping to ease her anxiety. "I shouldn't have gone off on Severide like that. As much as I wanted to, it wasn't the right thing to do, especially in the middle of the firehouse."

"I don't want to pry, so feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but…what happened between you and Severide?" she asked tentatively not wanting to push him too far.

Matt sighed as he rubbed a hand over his face. He leaned forward resting his elbows on the table and twisting the beer bottle in his hands. He was trying to figure out how to explain his relationship with his fellow lieutenant.

"Forget it," Gabrielle said mistaking his hesitancy for annoyance. "I'm sorry, it's not my business," she began to apologize as she started to get up from the table.

"No!" he shouted a little too quickly in order to stop her from leaving.

"It's ok," Matt said. "I should talk about it…..I _want_ to talk about it. I just don't know where to start."

"Ok…I'm here…whenever you're ready," she offered sitting back down. She didn't want to seem too eager but she was secretly delighted that he wanted her to stay.

Matt nodded and took a few minutes to collect his thoughts before starting.

"Ah…I've known Kelly since college. I took classes with him and Darden, we went through the fire academy together—they were my best friends. I know most people would think our problems started when he began dating my sister, especially because she was so young. But I was happy for them because she was happy, and I knew Kelly would treat her right. I _thought _Kelly would treat her right. And at the time, she really needed that."

He lifted his head to see Gabrielle listening with rapid attention and a slightly confused look on her face.

"Tricia was 17 when she started to date him. Kelly was 21." Matt explained.

"Your parents were ok with that?" Gabrielle asked surprised.

Matt sighed and gave her a half-smile. He was used to that question when people found out about when their relationship questioned. When they first started at the firehouse, there were many times when shifts were slow that Herrmann took to reading laws and statues out loud. Everyone knew he was directing them towards Kelly in a silent warning about his underage girlfriend. It was all done in good faith and it was also fun to see Kelly squirm, but even he had a good sense of humor about it.

"Yeah," he said with a laugh. "Ah, they started dating in June, right after she finished her junior year of high school. She was going to turn 18 in August, I guess my parents just figured it was a lost cause at that point. We all knew she was going to do what she wanted anyway."

"And I think it was easier for them to accept it, then to have Tricia and Kelly sneaking around behind their backs. At least that way they could keep an eye on them. And Andy and I were around a lot, there wasn't much they could get away with," he explained. "Plus…well, it's not my story to tell, but my sister had just gone through a really tough time. We all just wanted her to be happy—to move on. And Kelly….Kelly seemed to do that for her." he trailed off for a moment to collect his thoughts again before continuing.

"They were completely in love with each other," Matt continued with a wistful look.

"What happened?" Gabrielle asked.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Tricia got accepted to Boston…Kelly was working his ass off to get on squad. She told me once both their dreams were coming true; they just weren't coming true together," he said.

"If it was just them growing apart, where does the hostility for Kelly come from," Gabrielle questioned not understanding where he was going with this. She saw his hesitation before he looked up at her with a serious face.

"You cannot repeat this to anyone," Matt said deadly serious.

"I swear to you, whatever you tell me is between the two of us" Gabrielle promised. "Pinky swear," she said while extending her fist with her pinky sticking out to him.

Matt chuckled as he mocked her pose, the two of them locking pinkies as if they children and this solidified that their promise would not be broken.

"I have a four and a half year old niece," he said with a smile.

~ooOoo~

Tricia was running around her house trying to clean up when she heard the doorbell. It was pretty late and she wasn't expecting anyone, so she was perplexed about who would be visiting. She looked at herself quickly in the mirror, she was sporting oversized sweats and a stained t-shirt, her hair a crazy messy of curls piled into a bun on top of her head.

"Oh well," she sighed deciding she didn't have enough time to change as the doorbell once again rang throughout the home.

When she opened the door she was surprised to see her brother's fiancé on the other side. She didn't know Hallie very well and the few times they had been together left her with an unsettling feeling. She wasn't happy when Hallie offered up information about her to Matt's co-worker, especially after both she and Matt specifically asked her not to mention it to anyone.

"Hi Hallie," she greeted surprised to see her there.

"Hi," Hallie said in return pulling her coat tighter as she stood on the porch. She wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing by being here. But she was so sick of Matt only telling her bits and pieces, she wanted the truth. She wanted to know what happened and why she was sworn to secrecy.

"Can I come in?" She asked.

"Yeah," Tricia responded opening the door wider and allowing her into the home.

"Place looks great," Hallie commented as she took her coat off and they made their way into the living room.

"Thanks," Tricia said not really know how to respond. She knew Hallie hated this house and everything it stood for, but at the moment she was making an effort and that was something.

"Can I get you something? Coffee..tea?" Tricia asked looking for something to do.

"I'm fine," Hallie replied taking a seat.

"Right," Tricia murmured, before also taking a seat. It was obvious that Hallie had come here tonight for a reason, so she was just going to sit and wait until the older woman decided to share that reason with her.

"Matt and I had a fight," Hallie confined in her after several minutes of silence. "It was about you."

"Oh," Tricia said not knowing how to respond to her. "I'm sorry?" she stated but it came out more like a question.

"I didn't come here for an apology. It wasn't really your fault anyway. It's just Matt…he doesn't like to talk about what happened to you. I mean what happened between you and Kelly. He feels like you're always holding something back, and its causing tension in a lot of his relationships with people. Me, you,….Kelly," She said trying to ease her way into her question.

"I don't know how to ask you this, other to just come out and say it. So…" Hallie trailed off before looking Tricia directly in the eye. "Is Kelly K.C.'s father?"

Tricia let out a deep breath as she stared at her future sister-in-law in shock. She didn't know what she was expecting when Hallie showed up on her door but it certainly wasn't this.

**A/N Hope you enjoyed it! I'm hoping to have the next chapter updated by Tuesday. **


	6. Deception

**Here is the next chapter. Originally I was hoping to have this posted by Tuesday but I was able to finish it early so I figured I'd post it now. Once again thanks for all the support, it means a lot! **

**I have a pretty busy week so the next update may not be until Friday or Saturday but I will try to get it out as soon as I can ****. **

**Chapter 5**

"Matt and I had a fight," Hallie confined in her after several minutes of silence. "It was about you."

"Oh," Tricia said not knowing how to respond to her. "I'm sorry." she stated but it came out more like a question.

"I didn't come here for an apology. It wasn't really your fault anyway. It's just Matt…he doesn't like to talk about what happened to you. I mean what happened between you and Kelly. He feels like you're always holding something back, and its causing tension in a lot of his relationships with people. Me, you,….Kelly," She said trying to ease her way into her question.

"I don't know how to ask you this, other to just come out and say it. So," Hallie trailed off before looking Tricia directly in the eye. "Is Kelly K.C.'s father?"

Tricia let out a deep breath as she stared at her future sister-in-law in shock. She didn't know what she was expecting when Hallie showed up on her door but it certainly wasn't this.

"No," Tricia sighed shaking her head. "No, Kelly's not her father."

Hallie was stunned, that was definitely not what she was expecting the young woman to say. "Then why are you working so hard to keep him away from you?"

Tricia took a deep breath as she rubbed her forehead with her hand before continuing. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way because I'm not ashamed of my daughter, but I'm not proud of how it happened."

"I didn't handle my break up with Kelly very well," Tricia explained.

"I was a freshman in college. You're supposed to go out and party, have fun, but I couldn't do it. I didn't have it in me. My roommate and the few friends I had managed to make didn't understand. They had boyfriends in high school but….they never experienced what Kelly and I had," she said getting teary crocking as she trailed off.

"I was so miserable that I went home once, a couple of months after I left. I missed Kelly so much. All I wanted was for him to tell me to stay," Tricia said her voice laced in sadness.

"What happened?" Hallie pried.

"He didn't want to see me…Andy told me he had moved on. I didn't want to believe it at first, and then I saw them together. He was with some girl, they seemed happy. That's all I wanted for him, so I went back to school. It felt like my heart had been shattered for a second time," she whispered softly.

"So if Kelly's not her father, who is?" Hallie questioned.

"By Halloween my friends were really fed up with me. I had become depressed and isolated myself. None of my friends could relate to it. To them Halloween was supposed to be one big party, but it brought up a lot of memories for me. I couldn't handle it." Tricia paused for a moment to take a breath and tame her overflowing emotions before she was able to continue.

"The first Halloween Kelly and I were together, I wanted to go to a costume party…Kelly wasn't big on dressing up…_or_ going to a party with a bunch of high school kids," she added with a small laugh as she wiped away a few of the tears that managed to escape.

"I don't know how I did it, but I finally got him to agree. I even talked him out of wearing out of wearing his fireman's uniform. We went as Popeye and Olive Oyl," she laughed lightly. "I mean Kelly's costume was a navy t-shirt and jeans, but he added the anchor tattoo and carried around a can of spinach for good measure," She said smiling at the memory.

"He was right of course, the party was horrible. I don't even think we stayed for more than a half-hour. We ended up buying a ton of candy and having a scary movie marathon at his apartment. I remember thinking it was the best Halloween I'd ever had," she reminisced.

"I spent most of the night hiding my face in his arm as he laughed at what a baby I was being. But as we sat there, gorging ourselves with junk food, he made me promise that the next year—when I would undoubtedly drag him to another horrible party—that he could go as a fireman. And when I came to my senses and realized what a horrible idea going to the party was, and remembered how much I actually hate Halloween—that we would do the same thing," Tricia sniffled, tears streaming down her face.

"He was making future plans for us. It was the night I recognized irrevocably in love with him I was," She confided. "I didn't want to think about the fact that I wasn't going to share that with him again, so I went out with my friends and drowned my sorrows in the bottom of a tequila bottle. I made the mistake of sleeping with some drunken frat guy. When I found out I was pregnant he wanted nothing to do with it. I believe his words were to just "take care it."" Tricia said disgusted.

"I didn't care how she was conceived, it was my _child_ I couldn't just….I couldn't do that," she inhaled shaking her head at the thought. "I didn't think my family would understand, so I stopped talking to my parents and Matt, stopped going home—I isolated myself from everyone I knew in Chicago."

"Why?" Hallie asked confused.

She could understand why Tricia thought her family may not approve, but she couldn't understand why she thought cutting herself off from everything she knew would be a good idea, especially when she was in such a vulnerable state.

"I don't know, self-preservation I guess." She speculated. "Look, I haven't made the best decisions. I know that, being back in Chicago does nothing but remind me of that. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. But I do, so I'm trying to start over and I don't want the demons from my past getting in the way of that."

Tricia could tell that Hallie was waiting for her to expand on that more but it wasn't something she wanted to get into now. Nor was it something she wanted to discuss with the woman in front of her. She was relieved when the ringing of her phone interrupted their conversation.

"I'm sorry," Tricia apologized as she excused herself to answer the call, happy something had interrupted their conversation.

"Hello," she greeted after she had retrieved the portable phone from the next room.

"Hey Eric," Hallie overheard Tricia say.

She was silent for a few minutes listening to the man on the other end before she excitedly agreed to whatever he had said to her. Hallie was extremely curious as to who she was talking to, she couldn't remember Matt ever mentioning someone named Eric.

"Who was that?" Hallie asked when Tricia came back into the room now off of the phone.

"A friend of mine from Boston," she said.

"That's nice," Hallie commented.

"Yeah, he's going to be in town next week for a meeting and he's playing a show at that café in Logan Square—The Mustache," the younger woman explained.

"You should come," Tricia suggested. "You could invite some of your friends, it'll be fun."

"Ok," Hallie agreed giving her a smile and grabbed her coat. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it took a lot, but I feel like I understand things better now."

With that Hallie put her jacket on and started to walk to the door, Tricia following behind her. "Have a good night."

"You too, I'll call you with the details sometime this week." Tricia said giving her a soft smile before shutting the door to her home behind her.

~ooOoo~

"You have a niece?" Gabrielle asked surprised while at the same time picturing Matt playing with a little girl.

"Yeah," Matt smiled. "Katharine Casey, but we all call her K.C., she looks just like my sister."

Gabrielle could see the adoration he had for his niece as he spoke about her. It was no secret that Matt loved kids. He often talked about how he wanted to start a family. He never confided in anyone at the firehouse, but they all knew Hallie was making him put those dreams on hold. Gabrielle felt bad for him, it was clear that he would be an amazing father when the time came and she couldn't imagine someone wanting to put their career ahead of starting a family with the person they loved. At the same time she was relieved, she knew it would be painful for her once he was married and ready to start his family. She would never impose on someone's marriage, and once he officially tied the knot any chance she may have had would be gone.

As she was thinking about this she remembered how old Matt said his niece was. She had heard the rumors at the firehouse; his sister was back in town for the first time in five years. And although she didn't know all of the details it was clear before she left she had some kind of relationship with Kelly. Suddenly all of the tension between the lieutenants made sense.

"Is she…" Gabrielle started before Matt interrupted her.

"I don't know," he said cutting her off.

"How do you not know? You've never asked?" she questioned stunned Matt wouldn't have investigated the situation thoroughly.

"Oh I've asked." He assured her. "I wanted to kill Kelly when I found out my sister had a kid, but Tricia denies that it's his."

"You don't believe her," Gabrielle stated more than asked.

"Honestly, I don't know what to believe," Matt said before pausing for a moment. "She says it's not his. That she was drunk and upset on Halloween and she fell into bed with some college kid who ran for the hills when he found out she was pregnant."

"Ok," Gabrielle responded. She felt like he had more he wanted to say so she stayed quite while waiting for him to continue.

"Kelly went to see her," he revealed. "He doesn't know I know. Andy let it slip once. He went to Boston when she didn't come home for Thanksgiving."

"So what you think they might have…" she suggested but trailed off at the end thinking Matt probably didn't want to think about his sister's sex life no less discuss it.

"Who knows," he sighed. "Andy said, Kelly told him when he got there he saw her with some guy, he never talked to her just turned around and came home."

"And you don't think that's what happened?" she specified more than questioned.

"Maybe it did," he huffed throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Gabrielle could see him starting to get frustrated with the current line of questioning so she decided to switch to a new tactic.

"Let's forget about the fact that something may have occurred between the two of them between Halloween and Thanksgiving that neither one has shared with you." She said in an attempt to calm him down. "If she's Kelly's kid, would your sister really keep that from him?"

"No," Matt responded without any hesitation. "That's what makes this so confusing. If it was his kid she would _never_ keep that from him. My sister's wanted to get married and have kids since she started babysitting at like 15. Even if she hated his guts, I can't see her hiding that from him."

"So, Tricia's either telling the truth or she told Kelly and he wanted nothing to do with it," she deducted from the new information.

"And she's protecting him by saying it's not his," he agreed with a sigh.

Gabrielle lowered her head shaking it in disbelief. There was something about this that just wasn't adding up. She now understood what had Matt so conflicted.

"You'll never hear me denying that Kelly's a cocky son-of-a-bitch, but he's not heartless. I couldn't see him walking away from a kid he had with a one-night-stand. There's no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't walk away from a woman he loved if he knew she was pregnant."

"Exactly," Matt agreed.

He had gone over this in his head a thousand times and even he had to give Kelly the benefit of the doubt that he would have done right by his sister. That meant his sister was lying to him and although that was possible, he didn't want to believe that, not after everything they had been through.

"You never said anything to him about it?" Gabrielle asked.

"Never," Matt interjected quickly. "I've never brought it up with him because if Tricia's not lying, is it really any of Kelly's business that she's got a kid?"

Gabrielle assumed that he wasn't looking for a response. It was pretty clear that they weren't going to come to a conclusion tonight. However, she was able to get an inside into why Matt acted the way he did towards Kelly. It all made sense to her now. They stayed silent for several minutes as they both continued to sip their beers.

"Well, it's quite the predicament," she said trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Yeah, now I just have to figure out which one of them is lying," he muttered as he brought his beer to his lips to take a large gulp.


	7. Pumpkin Head Part 1

**So this chapter was originally going to be updated on Saturday but it got way too long so I decided to break it into two chapters. Here is part 1. Hope you like it! Thanks for all the follows and reviews, I'm happy to know people are enjoying reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it.**

**Chapter 6**

Today was Tricia's first official day back at work after her move, and her clients definitely didn't like to make things easy for her. She was fielding phone calls left and right after one of them decided to make a public spectacle of him-self in the middle of his football game. How hard was it to at least appear to be respectful to your coach and teammates when you are on a football field with cameras flashing all around you?

Any other day she would have told his ass off, but today she had to treat him with kid gloves. She had promised Matt that she would get him a couple of autographs and tickets to the Bears game for the firehouses auction, and she knew if she pissed off Jay right now the chances of that would be slim.

She was waiting in line at Starbucks when she received a phone call from her daughter's school saying she needed to be picked up early because she wasn't feeling well. Usually, Tricia would drop anything where her daughter was concerned but today was her first day back at work and Jay Cutler was a very temperamental client. She couldn't just reschedule this meeting. She thought about calling her mom or Matt before she remembered they were both working.

She spent several minutes mulling over her options until it hit her—Hallie wasn't working today. And while her brother's fiancé wouldn't ordinarily be her first choice for a babysitter she was desperate and had to give it a shot.

Tricia franticly dialed the number and waited impatiently while the phone rang until Hallie picked up.

"Hello," she answered.

"Hallie, thank God!" Tricia exclaimed completely stressed.

"I would never ask you to do this, but I have a huge meeting in a half hour and K.C.'s school just called, she's not feeling well and they need someone to pick her up," she rambled.

Hallie didn't know how she felt about watching the young girl as she wasn't a big fan of kids, but she knew that Matt would freak out if Tricia told him she had denied helping her. How bad could it be to watch a four-year-old for a couple of hours?

"Sure, no problem," Hallie replied easing her future sister-in-law's worry. "What's the address?"

Tricia rattled off the address and thanked her profusely before ending the call. She ordered her coffee and called K.C.'s school to let them know Hallie would be there to pick her up in a few minutes. Once she was finished, she grabbed her order and rushed to her office for her meeting.

~ooOoo~

It was clear to Hallie once she picked up Matt's niece that she wasn't really sick. She was complaining of a stomach ache and the school didn't want to take any chances, but Hallie knew it probably had more to do with starting a new school and being away from her mother than anything else.

As she was putting the toddler into the booster seat she noticed Matt's equipment bag in the back seat of her car.

"Shoot," she muttered as she buckled K.C. in.

"Looks like your Uncle Matt forgot his bag," she told her. "Should we visit him at work, so we can drop it off?"

"Yes!" K.C. squealed excited about going to see her Uncle.

Hallie chuckled at the little girl's enthusiasm, before walking around to the other side of the car and getting in.

~ooOoo~

Leslie had gotten to the firehouse with plenty of time before her shift. There wasn't much going on at her apartment, plus she had some errands to run and she wanted to get in a workout so she left her apartment rather early. Leslie hadn't anticipated accomplishing all of that in record time, which was why she found herself getting the ambulance ready while she waited for Gabrielle to arrive.

"Hey Leslie," she heard a friendly voice call from behind her.

Leslie turned around to find Hallie walking towards her with an adorable little girl in tow.

"Hi," She greeted, shocked to see Hallie with a child.

She had seen Hallie interact with children at numerous events and based on those encounters she would have bet good money that Hallie didn't even _like_ kids.

"Who's this?" she asked trying not to show her surprise.

"This is K.C.," Hallie replied glancing at the little girl. "I'm just helping out a friend. She got out of school early, and her mommy had to work so she's going to hang out with me for a while."

Leslie nodded her head in understanding but didn't comment any further.

"Is Matt here?" she inquired. "He left his equipment bag in my car."

"He's here, but he's behind closed doors with the Chief right now," Leslie warned. "I'm sure it would be ok if you wanted to drop it off in his office," she suggested.

Hallie considered that for a moment before politely declining the offer.

"That's ok," she responded sending a nervous glance towards the child.

When she decided to visit, she thought Matt would be on the floor or at least be able to meet her outside. When she arrived and didn't see him, she'd hoped Leslie would be able to tell him she was here so he could meet them on the floor or in the driveway, but since he was unavailable she was rethinking whether or not this was a good idea.

She knew she could always bring K.C. with her while she dropped the bag off in Matt's office, but she didn't love the idea of trekking the young girl through the fire house. There was no telling where everyone was hanging out, and Hallie knew with the way these men gossiped it would only cause a lot of unwanted questions. She and Matt were just starting to get over the fight from a few days ago and Hallie didn't want to upset him again.

"She can hang out here with me for a few minutes if you want to go drop that off in his quarters," Leslie offered noticing Hallie's uneasiness.

Hallie furrowed her brows and pursed her lips, debating whether or not that was a good idea. After a minute she concluded that leaving K.C. with Leslie for a few minutes wouldn't cause any harm so she agreed.

"K.C. sweetie, this is Leslie." Hallie introduced, so the young girl wouldn't be frightened. "She's going to watch you for a few minutes while I run inside ok," she explained.

"Ok," K.C. said in a small voice while looking up at Leslie from under her long lashes.

Hallie smiled at the two of them, thanked Leslie, and then turned to make her way into the station.

Leslie looked down at the child who had her hands clasped behind her, swaying her little body back and forth. She was quite possibly one of the cutest kids she had ever seen. She had an angelic face with rose colored cheeks, big brown eyes, and a mass of curls that fell to the middle of her back.

She had on a pair of what looked like kids black equestrian pants that had zipper pockets in the front, paired with a black t-shirt that had a big silver sequined bow in the middle of it, and an oversized gray cable knit sweater that had big buttons and a large oversized collar. The outfit was topped off with a pair of sequined Ugg boots and a bow to hold her unruly hair off her face. It was clear the kids mother took her daughter's style very seriously as she looked like she came off a page of a JCrew catalogue.

"That's a pretty shirt," Leslie said hoping to offset the girl's shyness.

"My mommy buy it for me," she said looking down at her shirt making Leslie smile.

"That was very nice of her," Leslie said. "How old are you?"

"I four," she told her holding up four fingers to make her point.

"What's that?" K.C. asked clearly more comfortable around Leslie after bonding over her clothes.

"That's an ambulance," Leslie explained. "It helps people when they are hurt. Want to take a look?"

"That's what my daddy does!" K.C. said excitedly.

"He works in an ambulance?" Leslie asked confused as she lifted the girl up so that she could stand in the back of the ambulance, making them almost the same height.

"No silly," K.C. giggled.

"Mommy told me he helps hurt people…he's like _superman,_" she said in a hushed voice with wide eyes. "But you can't tell anyone. Mommy says it's our little secret," she added in a whisper trying to convey the importance of the secret.

Leslie knitted her brows wondering what she was talking about but at the same time she was amused by the child.

"Hey Shay, thanks for using all the milk this morning," Kelly complained walking around to the back of the ambulance, effectively interrupting the conversation between the two girls. "I had nothing to put in my cereal."

Leslie rolled her eyes, used to him voicing his grievances.

"You wouldn't have had that problem if you stopped to pick some up on your way home from work last night like I told you to," she quipped.

Kelly turned his head to give her a smirk, finally noticing the little girl who was standing in the back of the truck.

"Who gave you a kid?" He teased, chuckling when she slapped his arm.

K.C. watched the two of them interact, letting out a loud gasp.

Both of their heads snapped to the child who was holding her little hand against her mouth which had fallen open in shock.

"You in trouble," she warned with wide eyes looking at the two of them as the smiled at the way her r's came out sounding like w's.

"Why am I in trouble?" Kelly asked assuming she was talking to him, amusement shining in his eyes.

"Not you," she said crinkling up her nose. "YOU!" she clarified pointing at Leslie.

"Me?" Leslie asked holding a hand up to her chest and feigning surprise. "What did I do?"

"You hit him," she said pointing to Kelly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, while Kelly and Shay tried to suppress their laughter. K.C. noticed their amusement and got annoyed they weren't taking her seriously.

"I hit Paul and I get time out for it," she explained.

"Who's Paul?" Kelly asked marveling in the innocence of the child. He relished in the simplicity they found in things. As he got older he realized things weren't so definitive. There are many gray areas, but children tend to see things in black and white. There is right and there's wrong—no in between.

"He in my class," she told him.

"Why'd you hit him?" Kelly asked curious as to how the spunky little girl would answer.

"He pull my pig tails," she huffed with a frown and crossing her arms as if to say he should have somehow known that.

Leslie and Kelly both laughed at K.C.'s dramatics, but she took their laughter as them making fun of her which did not bode well with the child. Kelly stopped laughing as he noticed her eyebrows knitted together and her scowl deepened. It was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen, but at the same time he didn't want her to be upset.

"Cheer up pumpkin head," Kelly grinned ruffling her curls. "We're only kidding around."

"My mommy calls me that!" K.C. squealed, going from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds. Then she tilted her head to the side, looking up at Kelly with her big brown eyes.

"How you know she call me that?" she asked curiously as only a child can.

Kelly stood silently frozen in his spot as he realized what he had just said. He hadn't said or thought about that endearment in years. He had no idea what had caused him to say it, the words just fell from his lips like it was the most normal thing in the world. He hadn't even noticed he'd used it until the little girl pointed it out. To be honest he was startled that she had even heard it; it wasn't exactly a common nickname.

Leslie noticed the sad smile that came across Kelly's face as he got a faraway look in his eyes. He had been so light hearted and carefree, she couldn't imagine what had changed in a matter of minutes. Before she could call him out on it, she heard her partner and Hallie approaching.

Kelly also heard them coming and decided to make a quick exit in order to avoid having the conversation he knew Leslie was going to try to have with him. Right now, he really just wanted to be alone.


	8. Pumpkin Head Part 2

**Here's the next chapter...it's super early but I was inspired :) Hope everyone enjoys it. Thanks again for all the reviews and support! Let me know what you think. I'm always interested in hearing you theories ;) **

**Chapter 7 **

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," Gabrielle said as she and Hallie came around to the back of the ambulance where Leslie and K.C. were.

"Great," Hallie answered with a smile before turning her attention to the little girl standing in the back of the truck. "K.C. you ready to go?"

K.C. nodded and then jumping into Leslie's outstretched arms so she could help her get down.

"Thanks again for looking after her Leslie," Hallie said. "I was just telling Gabrielle about a show down in Logan Square Thursday night. It's a friend of Matt's sister, he's in town for the night and she invited me to check it out. It's supposed to be pretty good if you're not doing anything and you want to stop by."

"Sure," Leslie answered absentmindedly, her thoughts still on her roommate and his abrupt mood swing.

"Great, I'll text you both the info then." Hallie said as she picked up her future niece, situating the girl on her hip and turning to leave.

"See you guys later," Hallie called over her shoulder on her way out.

After Hallie's exit, Gabrielle noticed that Leslie seemed distracted.

"Hey, you ok?" the brunette asked.

"Yeah," Leslie replied inhaling deeply and trying to easy her apprehension.

"You sure?" Gabrielle questioned getting the feeling that there was something going on.

"Yeah, just…just worried about Severide, that's all." She said running a hand across her forehead.

"What's going on with Severide?" Gabrielle inquired.

"I don't know, something seemed off with him before," Leslie said concerned for her friend and roommate.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Gabrielle soothed. "You know how temperamental he can get."

"Yeah...yeah, you're probably right." Leslie responded with a shrug. She would let it go for now but one way or another she was going to find out what was going on with him.

~~ooOoo~~

Kelly was distracted throughout his entire shift. He was lucky that they hadn't had any serious calls today. He would've never forgiven himself if someone didn't get the best care possible because he was lost in his head.

He was in the locker room getting his things together after taking a quick shower and changing out of his uniform. His mind kept going back to those two little words from earlier, pumpkin head.

He shoved the travel size grooming case onto the top shelf in locker before taking a seat on the bench. He leaned over resting his elbows on his thighs and bringing his hands up to run through his hair which was still damp from the shower.

Those two words had been haunting him all day, almost as much as Tricia's presence in Chicago had been haunting him ever since he'd forced Mills to tell him she had moved back. But as much as he wanted to bury those two words deep down inside, back to where they resided before they came spilling forward of their own accord this afternoon, he couldn't. Although on their own they were just two ordinary words, he couldn't forget the memories hearing those two words together brought to the surface. Nor could he ignore the significance they held in his heart.

_(Flashback)_

"_Do you think I have a pumpkin head?" Tricia asked as she lounged on the old, beat-up sofa, in the apartment Kelly shared with Matt and Andy. _

"_What?" He asked confused from where he stood with his head buried in the refrigerator looking for the beer he'd stashed there the night before._

"_Do you think I have a pumpkin head?" She repeated, this time sitting up on her knees, peering over the back of the couch so she could watch him as he walked around the apartment's small kitchen. _

_It wasn't a big place—he just started working at the firehouse with Matt and Andy—they both wanted out of their parents homes—and this was all the three of them could afford on their starting salaries. It was rare that they actually had the apartment to themselves, if it wasn't her brother or Andy that was around; it was one of the guys from the firehouse dropping in unexpectedly. _

_It was a cold, raw December night; the holiday season was in full swing with Christmas quickly approaching, making for many long, tiresome shifts at the firehouse. The holidays were always a busy time for the guys. Kelly and Tricia had been dating for about six months, and tonight was the first time in several weeks that they were truly alone together. He was looking forward to a nice relaxing evening with his girlfriend, and he didn't want to spoil it by giving the wrong answer to such a ridiculous question. _

"_Are you serious or is this a trick?" he inquired with raised eyebrows._

"_Are _you_ serious?" she laughed. "Just answer the question."_

"_I'm perfectly happy to oblige. Please advise me on what would you like most to hear?" He teased hoping to divert her attention by quoting Mr. Darcy from _Pride and Prejudice_ as he made his way over to the sofa. _

"_I'm going to ignore the fact that you're mocking my favorite movie right now," Tricia said rolling her eyes at him. "Just answer the question."_

"_No," he responded as she flopped back on the cushions, while he placed his drink and plate on the coffee table, and then lifted her legs to place them in his lap after he sat down. _

"_You're an asshole," she told him leaning her head on the arm of the couch, trying her best to sound serious but the glint in her eyes and curve of her lips told him otherwise. _

"_Really?" Kelly countered. "You ask a ridiculous question about a pumpkin head and I'm the asshole?" _

"_You didn't answer me," she complained. _

_Kelly shook his head before shifting in his seat. He threw one arm across the back of the sofa and angled his body so he could look at her. "I think you have a beautiful head," he said hoping that would satisfy her. _

"_You're _such_ an asshole!" she shrieked throwing a pillow at him, which he easily caught with one hand and then tossed onto a chair in the corner so it was out of her reach. Tricia narrowed her eyes in irritation and then began to lightly kick his thigh, even though the large smile on her face told him she wasn't really annoyed. _

_Kelly grabbed her feet, holding both of them by the ankles in one hand, in order to stop her attack. He used his free arm to reach over and grab her wrist while she was distracted trying to break her feet away from his clutches. He jerked her towards him with enough force that her upper body lifted off of the cushions, making it easy for him to pull her into his massive chest with injuring her tiny frame. _

"_You want to say that again?" he asked as he pinned her to his side, her hands coming to rest on his chest while she squirmed trying to break out of his hold. _

"_Asshole," she said defiantly. _

"_You sure you wanna go there?" he smirked before he shifted her once again this time spinning her to the side so she was sitting sideways in his lap. _

_Tricia narrowed her eyes, glaring at him as a cocky grin spread across his face, clearly thinking he had won their little spat. She allowed him to gloat for a moment before she wrapped her arms around his neck and raised herself up so she could press her chest against his. He dropped his head to the back of the couch pulling her closer, relishing in the sensation of having her rubbing her body against him in a teasing manner. She continued to taunt him by dropping a kiss onto his neck, right above his adam's apple, causing him to let out a low groan. Using the distraction to her advantage, she slipped one of her legs across his lap so she was straddling him. _

"_HA!" she shouted successfully pinning his arms against the coach and then pulling away from him. _

"_I win," She taunted as he looked at her with lustful eyes. _

"_You're a cruel woman," he smirked with narrowed eyes as he lifted his head to meet her eyes while dropping his hands to her waist, holding her hips in place so she couldn't move. _

"_Cruel or resourceful?" she disputed, as if that justified her actions. "Now, I believe you have a question to answer."_

_Kelly sighed as he ran his hands up and down her back, "Babe, I don't even know what pumpkin head is supposed to mean," he explained. "How is your head supposed to resemble a pumpkin?"_

_The only thing he knew about pumpkins where that they were big, round, and orange and he sincerely doubted that she would be happy if he listed any of those traits when referring to her head. _

"_You're such a boy!" she complained as she dropped her head onto his shoulder. _

"_Where do you get this stuff from?" he chucked clearly amused. _

_Tricia lifted her head and leaned back to look into his eyes again. He could see the debate going on in her head, which only served to feed his curiosity. _

_She crinkled her nose and pursed her lips, trying to decide whether or not to tell him. _

"_Just tell me," he encouraged. _

"_No!" she yelped quickly. _

"_Why not?" he asked. _

"_You'll think it's stupid," she said lowering her head in embarrassment. _

_Kelly brought a hand up to her face, lifting her chin so that she was once again looking at him. _

"_You still have to tell me," he countered. _

_Tricia took in a deep breath before exhaling loudly and resting her hands on his broad shoulders._

"_Last night, Stephanie and Samantha were at my house and we were watching a show and one of the girls on it…."_

"_What show?" he asked interrupting her. _

"_That doesn't matter," Tricia dismissed quickly, but before she could get back to her story he cut her off again. _

"_What show?" he repeated not allowing her to dismiss the question so easily. _

"_Real Housewives of New York," she grumbled barely loud enough for him to hear. _

"_Oh God," he muttered his tone portraying the distain he held for her preferred programing and the Network it resided on. _

"Anyway_," she continued. "Carole kept calling Lu Ann pumpkin head; she said it was a compliment. It was supposed to mean that she had a photogenic face or something, and that she only called her most gorgeous friends pumpkin head. But none of the other women knew what to make of it and they thought she was making fun of her because the two of them were bickering back and forth the entire time they were in London," she explained as if he cared about the lives of the reality TV stars. _

"_Steph, Sam, and I were trying to think people we knew who would fit Carole's description of a pumpkin head. I couldn't think of anyone, but they were convinced that I have a pumpkin head, and I'm not sure what to make of that," she told him as serious as could be. _

_Kelly looked at her dumbstruck for a moment. He wanted to ask her yet again if she was serious, but quickly thought the better of it, so he snapped his mouth shut and shook that thought out of his head. _

"_You're right," he said pausing for a moment. "That is stupid." _

_Tricia rolled her eyes as she slapped his shoulder. _

"_Jackass," she muttered as she slid off of his lap and resumed her original place, lounging back on the cushions and placing her feet on top of his legs. _

_Kelly chuckled as he used her legs to pull her towards him once again. This time though, he leaned over, covering her tiny body with his much larger one, while remaining mindful of his position so that he didn't hurt her. _

"_I'm still not sure I get what it means, but, you'll always be my pumpkin head," he told her, love shining in his eyes as he lowered his head in order to place a chaste kiss on her lips. _

"_Promise?" she asked as she smiled against his lips. _

"_I promise," he replied giving her another kiss and then dropping to his side, leaning his back against the coach and pulling her close to him so that she could snuggle into his chest. Which is how they spent the rest of their evening, until Matt and Andy came home with a group of girls they had picked up at the bar, effectively interrupting their peaceful night together._

_(End Flashback)_

"Who knew you were so good with kids," Leslie said in a teasing manner breaking him out of the trance he was in.

"Eh," Kelly shrugged. "I have my moments," he said brushing off the compliment.

"I'm heading out in a few, you wanna grab a bite?" she offered.

"Not tonight," he declined.

"You got plans?" she pressed trying to get him to talk to her about what was going on.

"Something like that," he responded, slinging his bag over his shoulder and slamming his locker shut before exiting the locker room. There was someone he owed a visit to, and he'd put it off for far too long.


	9. From the mouths of babes

**So originally this chapter was going to include the prologue, but as I started to write it, not only did the chapter get super long, I also realized that a few other things needed to be explained before Kelly shows up at Tricia's house. **

**To make up for the change in schedule there may be another update today, otherwise it will definitely be tomorrow, so look out for it! Thanks again for all the reviews and follows! **

**Chapter 8**

"Mommy!" K.C. squealed as she came running into the kitchen, rushing over to her mother to wrap her little arms around Tricia's slender legs.

"Hey baby," Tricia smiled. K.C. giggled as Tricia lifted her up, swinging the child above her head before settling her daughter on her hip.

"Did you have fun with Aunt Hallie?" she asked ticking the little girl's tummy in the process.

"YES!" K.C. cried through her laughter.

"Good, now go wash up before dinner," Tricia instructed, putting K.C. on her feet and then resting on her knees for a moment so she was eye level with her daughter, who she knew was about to argue with her.

"But I clean momma," K.C. protested holding up her little hands that were anything but.

"Nice try kid," Tricia said inspecting her daughter's appearance.

K.C. was relatively clean as far as a four-year old goes, but Tricia was definitely on the neurotic side when it came to hygiene. When they were younger, Matt was always making fun of his sister's habit of having to have everything perfect. And while Tricia couldn't deny that she was somewhat of a perfectionist, she didn't think her cleaning and organizing tendencies were as crazy as some people made them seem.

Until one day while living in Boston, she walked into her apartment to find her two-year-old daughter instructing her babysitter on the proper ways to clean the counter. Tricia was mortified when her babysitter, laughing, told her it was a regular occurrence.

"I swear your kid has to be the cleanest baby I know!" the babysitter had joked good naturedly. The comment was followed by stories of how spilling juice required an entire outfit change and basically disinfecting every surface they had played on before and after they were done! And while Tricia knew from the tone and actions of the young girl that she found her daughter's actions more amusing than annoying, she was still mortified. She wanted her daughter to be a kid, not a philandering germaphobe by the age of five!

Since then, she had tried to scale back on her excessive cleaning habits, at least until her daughter wasn't around to witness all of the craziness. Even if that meant holding back the cringe threatening to come to the surface when she saw grass stains, messy hair, and dirt streaked hands and fingernails like right now.

"Go," Tricia said in a stern voice pointing the child out of the kitchen.

"You might was to hurry," she called after her making the little girl freeze for a moment, turning around to look at her mother curiously.

"Uncle Matt's coming over for dinner and you know how much he _loves _mac and cheese," Tricia teased, curling her lips slightly.

K.C. looked at her mother with wide eyes, clearly remembering the time her uncle ate the portion of mac and cheese her mother had promised she could have for dinner while she was napping.

Tricia remembered the melt down that ensued after K.C. woke up to find that her uncle had eaten her favorite dinner by accident. He'd felt terrible, and proceeded to try and gain her forgiveness—and his title as her favorite uncle—with a slew of ridiculously expensive and highly unnecessary gifts.

_(Flashback)_

_Matt and her parents had come to visit them in Boston last November for Thanksgiving. It had been almost 24 hours since her brother devoured the meal her daughter had made sure to tell everyone not to touch because mommy promised she could have it for dinner that night. _

_Apparently Matt had no idea what she was talking about because the small container of chicken mac and cheese became his afternoon snack while his niece took her nap. The crying and screaming that came from the three-year-old when she woke up was one for the record books. Even Tricia had never seen her daughter act like that before. _

_She was extremely concerned about her daughter's irrational reaction to the situation. Thankfully, her parents were able to help her see that the reaction had more to do with K.C. being upset about her uncle and grandparents leaving the next day, than the missing container of food. _

_Matt on the other hand had been more difficult to convince. He didn't see his niece often and he didn't care what had caused her breakdown, just that she was upset and taking her anger out on him. He was determined to get a smile on back on her face by the time he left. _

_Which was what prompted him to come home from Toys 'R' US with a hot pick Barbie themed Power Wheels Escalade, something his sister wanted to kill him for. _

"_She just turned three!" Tricia argued when she saw the present. _

"_Your point?" Matt questioned not seeing the issue with his gift. _

"_Really?" Tricia said dumbfounded, then rubbing her hands over her face. "Aside from the fact that she's not going to be able to see over the steering wheel for a couple of years, we live in the city! Where on earth do you think she'd even be able to use this?"_

"_I don't around the apartment," Matt shrugged. He hadn't really thought that part through. He just wanted to get his niece something so spectacular that she would forget she was mad at him. _

"_Oh sure, my 1,300 sq. ft. apartment is the perfect place to go on a joyride…are you crazy!" she questioned through gritted teeth. _

"_I just want to be her favorite uncle again," Matt conceded. _

"_Matt," Tricia sighed looking at the sad eyes her brother was giving her. _

"_You're her only uncle—by default you have to be her favorite," she told him breaking the tension. _

_She would have made him return the damn car too; except that once her daughter saw it she was completely in love. It became a staple in her tiny bedroom, acting more as a piece of furniture than the toy it was meant to be. She had however, made her brother promise never to buy such an extravagant present without at least discussing it with her first. _

_(End Flashback)_

"We're having mac and cheese?" a deep voice boomed throughout the kitchen.

K.C. looked up to see her uncle entering the kitchen with his fiancé, who had been outside waiting for him to arrive.

"You can't have any!" K.C. shrieked hiding behind her mother's legs.

"Oh yeah," Matt questioned as he slowly approached her.

"Yeah!" K.C. replied clinging to her mother's legs tighter. She was no match for her uncle who reached out and grabbed her easily, lifting her tiny body up and turning her upside down as he held her against his chest while she giggled uncontrollably.

"Matt," Tricia scolded.

"Alright, alright," he conceded, turning his niece upright after his sister's warning. "Let's go get you washed up," he said carrying the little girl out of the kitchen.

"One day he's going to catch on to the fact that you refuse to allow your daughter to forget about that," Hallie teased.

"Yeah," Tricia responded her eyes gleaming. "But I have too much fun teasing him about it to stop now. Thank you for picking her up and watching her this afternoon, I hope she wasn't too much trouble." Tricia said addressing the favor Hallie did for her earlier for the first time.

"Oh, no problem," Hallie replied walking further into the kitchen. "She was no trouble at all."

"What's you guys do?" she questioned as she grabbed plates and utensils and began to set the table.

Hallie shot a nervous glance towards the younger woman who wasn't paying any attention to her because she was busy with her task before answering.

"Umm…we went to the park and then that new frozen yogurt place on Madison..." Hallie said trying to think of the name.

"Sweet Frog," Tricia offered. "I'm not surprised; it's one of her favorite's. She's loves that she can put her own toppings on. And of course, when she's with Uncle Matt, he lets her get _way too many_!" Tricia smiled as her brother came back into the kitchen carrying his niece, before she went back to the cabinet to grab glasses for the table.

"Sounds like you had fun with Aunt Hallie," Matt said placing K.C. on the counter.

The little girl nodded her head excitedly, her curls shaking back and forth with the motion.

"And I make a new friend, her name Leslie," K.C. told them.

Hallie stood frozen in place as she listened to what K.C. just said. She hadn't considered that the little girl would tell her mother about going to the firehouse.

"That's nice baby," Tricia responded thinking K.C. was referring to a girl in her class, causing Hallie to exhale the breath she had been holding in. "Maybe I'll have to talk to her mommy and set up a play date for you two."

"That's silly mommy," K.C. giggled.

"What's silly?" she asked her daughter confused as she reached into the cabinet for another glass.

"She not a baby mamma, she a big girl like you," K.C. explained causing all of the adults to look at her.

"K.C. where did you meet Leslie," Matt asked in a confused voice.

"When we go see you at work," the little girl revealed.

Tricia turned around leaning her back against the counter as both she and Matt focused on Hallie.

"You were at the firehouse?" Matt asked his fiancé with a hard stare.

Hallie swallowed nervously glancing at the child before looking into the hard eyes of her husband-to-be.

"You left your bag in my car," she explained.

"We were only there for a few minutes. She never even went in. Leslie was in the bay by the ambulance. She was the only one there and she said she would look after her while I ran inside to drop off your bag because you were in a meeting with the Chief. We were there for all of five minutes," she said defending her position to the siblings.

Tricia was annoyed but at the same time she recognized that Hallie had been doing her a favor and since it didn't seem like anyone other than this Leslie girl had seen her, she wasn't going to make a big deal about it.

"Ok," she responded shooting her brother a look to drop the subject before turning her attention to the glasses that needed to be added to the table.

"Was Leslie nice to you," Matt asked his niece jokingly. "I'm not going to have to yell at her for being mean, am I?"

K.C. giggled at her uncle before tilting her head to the side pretending to think for a moment.

"No, she was nice to me," She decided. "But her boyfriend get mad at her."

"Ah, K.C., Leslie doesn't have a boyfriend," Matt tried to explain while looking at Hallie again to see what she was talking about.

Hallie shrugged at her comment, not knowing what she was referring to.

"Yes she does!" K.C. insisted.

"He mad at her cause she drink _all _the milk," she huffed annoyed that they didn't seem to believe what she was saying.

Matt began to process what his niece had just said, trying to figure out who she was talking about. After a minute his eyes went wide in realization just as K.C. blurted out another thought.

"He call me pumpkin head like momma does!" She said as an eerie silence fell throughout the kitchen.

Matt turned a murderous glare towards Hallie as the sound of a glass shattering filled the kitchen.


	10. Shattered

**Here it is! Hope you enjoy…Thanks for all the support. I love hearing what everyone thinks!**

**Chapter 9**

Matt's eyes snapped to his sister as she stood in a puddle of glass frozen in shock. Her breaths started to come out in short gasps, her hands coming together to rest in front of her lips.

"Mommy?" K.C. asked her lips quivering.

Matt noticed his niece getting upset as she watched her mother.

"Hallie," he said sternly passing his niece off to her and nodding towards the living room, indicating that he wanted her to take the child out of the room.

"Matt," she pleaded trying to explain that she didn't know what K.C. was talking about.

"Not now," he seethed glaring at her.

Hallie didn't say anything else, just took the little girl into her arms, whispering that mommy was going to be ok as she brought her into the adjacent room.

"Tee," Matt said trying to get her attention.

Tricia either didn't hear his words or she chose to ignore them. She began shaking her head back and forth, like she was trying to forget everything she had just heard. Matt rushed forward as she started to sink to her knees, catching her just before she hit the ground.

"Hey…hey," he said leading her away from the glass and sitting her down on a stool.

"Oh God," She whispered burying her face in her hands.

"He met my daughter….that _bastard _met my daughter," she cried, suddenly becoming overwhelmed with an irrational anger.

Matt watched his sister as she continued on her downward spiral; he had never seen her so upset before. He knew she had feared this when she told him she had to move back, but she never dreamed that she would become this emotional about it. Although he would always take her side over Kelly's, her current state was doing nothing but solidifying his belief that there was something neither one of them had shared with him.

"Tee…Tee what's going on?" He kneeled in front of her placing his hand on his wrists, trying to get her to look at him.

"Come on….you gotta talk to me Tee. I can't help you if you don't tell me what going on," he urged.

Tricia understood the double meaning behind his words and suddenly her anger was directly towards her brother.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked through gritted teeth while standing up and moving away from him. "You sick your girlfriend on me last week and now _this_. That's just fucking great Matt, thanks."

Matt stood up to his full height, watching his sister with careful eyes as she grabbed a broom and dust pan and began to sweep up the mound of glass residing on the floor.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Matt demanded starting to get worked up. He had never asked Hallie to go see his sister, and she had never mentioned the visit either.

"Like you don't know," she scoffed as she began frantically cleaning the mess.

"I don't!" Matt seethed walking over to grab the cleaning tools from her so that he could have her entire focus. "Talk…Now!"

"You didn't send Hallie over here last week to question me about K.C. father?" Tricia asked with raised eyebrows.

"This is the first I'm even hearing about it." He replied clearly unhappy. "I didn't ask her to do that."

"But you don't believe me," Tricia stated.

"What do you want me to think?" Matt shrugged. "Uh, you tell me one thing and every move you make says another. You hear two words and you practically have a conniption. What am I supposed to think…what's your daughter supposed to think?"

"That I was in love. That I trusted someone…gave him my entire heart," Her voice breaking with every word. "And there isn't a day that where is doesn't hurt like hell knowing he could just walk away like none of it ever mattered…I guess shouldn't expect you to understand that."

"What?" Matt was definitely not in the mood to play games. If she had something to say, he wanted to hear it.

"Come on Matt…you and Hallie, you're not exactly the poster couple for happy-ever-after," Tricia accused, knowing she was hitting below the belt.

"Yeah, we have our disagreements, but lately they've all been about _you._" He said. "All I've done it try to protect and defend you."

"Don't you dare put that on me—not when you're hiding your own shit," she accused.

"Oh ok," Matt scoffed.

"You think I didn't know what you were up to over Thanksgiving last year," she told him in a hushed whispered so Hallie wouldn't hear her.

Matt stared at his sister for a moment, sad that this is what they had resorted too. At the same time he was surprised that it hadn't happened earlier than this. They both had things they wanted to keep in the past but pushing them under the rug didn't make them go away. They all came out eventually, and it seemed that now was the time they were going to hash out all their issues with each other.

"I guess we all have our secrets, just like I know all about Boston…and Nashville," he retorted. "I might not ask questions, but it doesn't mean I don't have them. You've _never _let him go—you're not kidding anyone but yourself."

"I did what I needed to, to take care of my daughter," she defended.

"Look," Matt sighed giving up for the moment. They weren't getting anywhere and he knew bring up K.C. would only cause her to get more defensive and angry. She was nothing if not the epitome of a momma bear where her child was concerned.

"He knows your back," He warned. "I told to stay away from you, but you know how well he listens so….Do me a favor though, think about it…_really_ think about it before you just take him back."

Tricia didn't know who she was more upset with her brother or herself, but right now it was easier to take it out on Matt so that's exactly what she did.

"Get out," She snarled, pissed Matt would accuse her of allowing Kelly to just walk back into her life.

She never told her brother all the details surrounding the ailing relationship—partially to preserve the friendship between the two men and partially because she felt that if she never shared the story with anyone it somehow wouldn't be real. Still the thought of anyone thinking she could just allow him to walk back into her life filled her with a sense of fury and resentment she couldn't explain.

"Tee," Matt exhaled.

"Get the hell out!" She yelled.

"I hope you know what you're doing," he whispered, shaking his head as he walked out of the kitchen and left the house.

~~ooOoo~~

It had been several hours since Tricia had all but thrown Matt and Hallie out. K.C. was occupied in the playroom set up off of the living room, while Tricia sat curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine staring at a large light blue and white patterned Maché box with a black top.

Her brother's words from earlier had forced her to face a lot of things she wanted to keep buried. She felt like the box might be the first step in confronting her past but the truth was the contents of that box terrified her, almost as much as the sound of her door bell ringing.

She'd tried to ignore it, but after the third ring she knew that wasn't going to be a possibility. She knew who was waiting for her on the other side. There were only a handful of people, who knew where she was living—she currently wasn't speaking with two of them and the other two, her parents, were out of town.

It was only a matter of time; she knew it wouldn't be difficult for him to find out where she was living. He was also resourceful. Plus, everyone at the firehouse had known when Matt purchased the house—they also knew when he and Hallie had moved back in together as they'd all pitched in when it came time to moving his stuff.

Tricia took a deep breath trying to mentally prepare her-self before answering the door. She knew exactly what waited for her on the other side. It was the one thing she had tried to put off for as long as she could since coming home. But now it was here—he was here, on her doorstep and she had to face him.

"Kelly," She said barely above a whisper with a tight smile and trying her best to reign in her emotions as she opened the door slightly and stood in the door way blocking him from looking into the house. She didn't want him to see the range of feelings that attacked her at seeing him again; especially after so long.

"You don't look surprised to see me," he said looking down at her and studying her face. She had changed so much in the past five years; she looked older, her face thinner and more angular, her cheek bones more prominent, her brown locks longer falling almost to the middle of her back is soft waves, and her ruby lips fuller.

What really drew him in were her chocolate brown eyes. He loved those eyes; he spent many a night dreaming about them since she left. He used to see his future in those eyes; they were the window to her soul and many times he believed they were the window to his soul as well.

"Took you long enough," she said with a half-smile looking past him and into the night in order to avoid looking directly at him. She was trying to protect herself from the emotions she spent the past five years running away from. "Matt said he told you to stay away—almost thought you started listening to him," she told him dropping her eyes to the ground, her voice breaking at the end. When she finished she had to swallow the lump in her throat and try once again to reign in her reaction to him being at her door.

"Ahh come on, you know me better than that," he replied cockily crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the side of the house. "I've never listened to him before, not about to start now."

Tricia nodded her head and let out a sigh before looking up at him again. "You should've," she told him this time blinking back tears. She refused to let him see her cry, but it was becoming a difficult feat for her to accomplish.

She saw hurt and anger flash across Kelly's face before it turned to something else but before she could decipher it or allow him to speak she stepped further into her home and kept a firm hand on the door. She looked over her shoulder and into the house for a minute before turning back to Kelly who was looking over her head trying to see what captured her attention. Tricia pulled the door even closer to her effectively cutting off Kelly's view of her home.

"You shouldn't have come here," she told him her voice now laced with anger, "you need to go."

Confused by the sudden shift in her mood, Kelly searched her face trying to find out where all of her abrupt hostility was coming from. If anyone had the right to be angry it was him.

"I'm not the one who left," He told her gaining her attention once again. "That's on you. You wanted to go to some fancy school on the east coast; U of C wasn't good enough for you. You didn't call or write… _you left not me_."

Tricia scoffed as she looked up at him, fire in her eyes. "Funny thing about phones Severide—they work both ways, and I don't seem to recall mine ringing very often."

She didn't miss the way he flinched when she addressed him as Severide. She knew that would get under his skin. It was a large part of the reason as to why she did it. More times than not, people addressed him by his surname rather than his first. Not her though—never her. She always called him Kelly.

She used to tell him it was weird calling him by his last name when they knew each other so well. Once he overheard her tell a friend how it annoyed her when fire flies who would hang around hoping for a chance to spend the night in his bed, addressing him by his last name as if they knew him. She never wanted to be like one of them. They didn't care about his tortured child hood or the physical illness he felt just by looking at a bottle of vodka ever since a bad drinking experience with it. They didn't know that he was fiercely protective of the people he love or that he longed to have a family and be a father. They didn't have a clue about the sleepless nights he spent trying to figure out how to support said family on a fireman's salary. They might have caught glimpses of Severide—the strong, rash, and brazen firefighter. They were attracted to his strong jaw line and perfectly sculpted abs. Or the heroic aspects of his career but they didn't know Kelly.

He usually hated when people called him by his first name, but when she did it was like they were in their own world. He didn't have to be the big strong protector he had become known as, he could just be himself. He knew she hated his job. That she worried about him every time he left for work. He knew she was terrified every time and the phone would ring or the story of a fire would flash up on the TV when he was on shift. He also knew she only tolerated it because it was what he loved and she loved him. It was one of the things he loved about her the most—he didn't have to hide his flaws or emotions, she accepted and loved him in spite of them all. No one ever understood him or owned his heart the way she did. When she left he was completely heart broken.

"You're right—I left, that's on me," she said her voice filled with the emotion she had been trying to avoid showing him. "But you were supposed to come with me and you didn't—_that's on you_."

Kelly looked at her his eyes brimming with tears, her words cut him like a knife. The moment paralyzed him as he stood there not knowing how to respond to her.

As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She knew how much they would hurt him. That had been her intention when she let them slip through her lips. But after seeing his reaction, she knew it was the wrong thing to do. They were both angry and hurt and she wasn't going to gain anything by reminding him of the mistakes they made in the past. And she knew they were both at fault.

"I'm sorry," she whispered before looking up at him. "I've had a rough day and I can't do this…this back and forth trying to hurt each other….I can't do it. Look, Chicago's a big city, I remember all the old hang outs—I'll stay away."

Kelly lifted her chin with his finger forcing her to look him in the eyes. His eyes were saying what he couldn't, they were pleading with her not to do this. Begging her to take him back and fall right back into the way they used to be. But Tricia knew that couldn't happen, they weren't the same people they were five years ago.

Tricia brushed off his hand and shook her head, on the verge of tears for the untempt time that evening. "Don't come here again," she half said half pleaded.

Tricia took one more look at him before stepping all the way inside her home and shutting the door. Once inside she leaned up against the door allowing her head to fall back against it. She brought a hand to her mouth as she let out a small sob, seconds away from completely losing her composure.

"Mommy," she heard a small voice call from the next room making her pull herself together quickly as she heard two small feet come down the hall.

"Yeah baby," she answered with a smile.

"Who at the door?" Asked a little girl with a head full of chocolate brown curls.

"No one," she answered picking up the child and heading for the playroom, hoping to distract her little girl with a room full of toys.


	11. Consequences

**Here's the next chapter! I know some of you were confused and/or annoyed with Tricia after the last chapter. There are still plenty of things that will be revealed but hopefully this chapter will give you a little more insight into why she acted the way she did. Thanks for all the reviews and support **

**Chapter 10**

"Mom! Mom you here?" Tricia called as she walked through her parents' home.

"In the kitchen!" a voice answered from a distance.

"Hey," Tricia said giving her mother a hug from behind as the older woman stood at the island in the kitchen, preparing a fruit salad.

"Hi honey, I wasn't expecting you today." She responded with a smile.

Tricia walked around to the other side of the counter, placing the large shopping bag she was carrying onto a stool before pulling out the second one and dropping onto it. "Jay got me those Bears tickets and some autographed jerseys and footballs for the firehouse auction, I was hoping you could give them to Matt the next time he drops by."

Her mother briefly looked up from where she was cutting the fruit to take a look at her daughter, before going back to the task at hand. "You two still not talking?"

"Mom," Tricia sighed clearly annoyed with her mother as she started to get up. She was acting very much like one would have expected her four-year to given the situation.

"Sit down," her mother commanded not giving her any room to argue.

"I am not going to let you do this to our family again," she explained, "especially to your brother. Now I'm not saying he was right in what he said to you the other night, but I also heard about what you said to him. You were outline honey."

Tricia gave her mother an exasperated look; she was not in the mood for a lecture. Her mother was nothing if not blunt, she would tell you exactly what she was thinking whether you wanted to hear it or not. Tricia knew she and Matt had some problems to work out, but she really didn't want to face them at the moment.

"Right now he's terrified," She explained giving her daughter a bit of a reprieve.

If there was anyone who understood exactly what her daughter had gone through it was her. She may not have agreed with how Tricia handled everything, but she loved her daughter and she had come to terms with the fact that she was young and she made mistakes. "He's afraid of you getting hurt again…of K.C. getting hurt this time….but mostly he's scared you're gonna pick up and leave for a second time without a word to any of us."

"I went to school. I didn't throw some insane curve ball at you, I _always_ wanted to go to BU mom," Tricia defended.

"Oh honey, honey you _didn't_ just go to school," her mother replied leveling her with a knowing look. "People that go to school, they come home…they call….they write. Boston was never about going to school sweetheart…you ran. And in a lot of ways you're still running."

Tricia lowered her head, suddenly finding the granite very interesting.

"Matt said I never gave him up," she said in a low voice after several minutes of silence. "Do you think that's true?"

Mrs. Casey put placed the knife she was holding on the counter, wiping her hands on a dish towel before making her way towards her daughter.

"Come with me," she said placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder and leading her to a small room located down the hall just off of her husband's home office.

"Mom," Tricia whispered in surprise as the two women walked into the small dimly lit room.

There was a large stereo set up in the corner; a sleek black leather coach was situated on one side of the room with a low coffee table placed in front of it. There was a large bookcase on the other side of the room, overflowing with books, CD's, and albums. All of the walls were lined with fancy frames, housing various mementos and memorabilia.

"Your father kept it all, he knew you said you didn't want it, but he thought maybe…someday…" she trailed off letting her daughter take in the contents of the room.

"Most people would be proud of it, but you treat it like it's some dirty little secret," her mother signed.

Tricia walked around the room taking it all in, her fingers skimming over the frames before she came to a stop in front of one of the largest and fanciest ones the wall adorned, her reflection shimmering in the gold hue.

"It's not that I want it to be a secret mom," she shrugged walking over to the sofa and taking a seat. "I just…it just seems too personal to talk about. If it weren't for Eric I never would have gotten involved in all of this. Honestly, it was really just a way to take care of K.C."

"Taking care of K.C. may have been a part of it, but it wasn't the only reason. You asked me if I thought you gave him up—honey this room is nothing but proof that you've never let him go," she told her before taking a seat next to her daughter and wrapping her arms around her.

"I want to…I want to hate him…so why can't I?" she whispered her voice cracking with emotion.

"I wish I could answer that for you, but I can't. We can't choose who we love," her mother comforted.

"He came to see me." Tricia revealed after several minutes of silence.

"When?" her mother questioned although she was not surprised that Kelly tried to reach out to her.

"Last night…he came to the house" she confided.

"How'd he look?" she asked.

"Like Kelly," she said with slumped shoulders and teary eyes.

"So good then," her mother asked trying to break the tension and get her daughter to smile.

"Mom!" said shocked but laughing at the same time.

"Oh please, that man was nothing if not good looking." She winked. "I may be married, but I'm not blind,"

"Too bad his looks don't make up for his shitty personality,"

"We've already established that you don't really believe that, but I'll take it from your reaction that he didn't say anything," Mrs. Casey asked knowingly.

"Not a thing," she responded shaking her head.

"Did you give him a chance to?"

"Not really," Tricia exhaled.

"Oh honey," she murmured bringing her hand up to stoke her daughter's hair. "I get why you don't share certain things with your brother. And I support and will continue to support it because I worry enough about him when he's at work. But one day K.C. is going to want answers, and you owe it to her—and to _yourself—_to have an honest and meaningful conversation with Kelly."

"Ma, when K.C.'s old enough for the truth I'll give it to her….her father _didn't want her_," Tricia sighed. "Unless he can suddenly go back in time, how's talking to Kelly going to change that?"

"If you believed that, you'd be able to say his name and K.C's father in the same sentence. But you don't," Mrs. Casey informed her. "You want to believe in him. You want there to be a plausible reason or excuse for what he did, if you didn't you wouldn't have built him up the way you have. You wouldn't try _so _hard to hate him, and you certainly never would have told your daughter her father's like a superhero."

Tricia looked at her mother with big wide painful eyes. Her mom was one of the only people who knew what happened five years ago, but her words, no matter how truthful, were a bitter pill to swallow.

Before she could respond to her mom, they were interrupted by the doorbell. Mrs. Casey gave her daughter a pat on the leg before excusing herself to answer the door.

Tricia wasn't sure how long she was in the room by herself as she was completely lost in her thoughts, but after a while she felt the sofa dip next to her. When she looked up she found her brother there holding a plate with a large slice of her favorite, strawberry-short cake.

"I come bearing peace," he smiled holding the plate in one hand and two forks in the other.

"Mom was holding out on me," Tricia pouted as she saw the cake, quickly snatching a fork from her brother's hand and diving in.

"Not exactly, I asked her to make it for Herrmann's birthday," Matt laughed.

"You're giving me Herrmann's birthday cake!" Tricia exclaimed her words muffled by a mouthful of cake.

"I figured he won't mind sparing a peace so I could get back in my sister's good graces," he explained.

"You are in my good graces," she smiled, than used her fork to push his away from the sugary sweetness. "I don't why you brought two forks, I'm not sharing,"

"You always did have a problem with sharing," he chuckled knocking her knee with his own as he placed the plate and his fork on the coffee table.

"How is Herrmmann?" Tricia asked. She knew they had to discuss what happened the other night but she decided to start with a safe topic first.

"Good," Matt said. "He gave us a scare a few weeks ago but he's coming back strong,"

"How are his kids?" Tricia smiled remembering Herrmann's family fondly. Tricia always had a soft spot for Herrmann and his family; there were many weekends when she was younger that she spent babysitting his kids.

"Big…his oldest will be high school next year." Matt told her in disbelief.

"Ugh! She used to promise to be my flower girl," Tricia sighed.

"He's got plenty of others," her brother joked.

"So she finally showed you huh?" he commented sitting back on the sofa, his eyes roaming around the room.

"I can't believe dad did all this," she exhaled.

"He's proud of you….we all are," he said sincerely.

"Sometimes I feel like there's not much for you to be proud of," she told him honestly.

"I'm not gonna leave again," she said after a few moments.

"I want to believe that…but what happens when Kelly comes around again? I can try to hold him off but eventually you and I both know he will," Matt said for the first time openly sharing his fears with her.

"I won't leave again," she promised. "As far Kelly goes…I know there are a lot of things you worry about. A lot of things you question. I don't talk about them because…well, for one, it's painful to. But more than that, because being a firefighter is what you love. I know how much you love your job and the guys on your truck. You're in a firehouse that has a squad, and Kelly's there, you have to see him—work with him—_everyday_. And that means there are days when you have to depend on each other to stay safe—stay _alive_."

"Kelly and I, we don't have a good past," she admitted. "We didn't end well. I don't tell you certain things because I know you, and if you knew our history…I guess I'm afraid that you won't be able to look at him again—let alone trust him in a life or death situation."

"You guys need to have some semblance of respect and comrade to work together," she said weakly before looking up at him with sad eyes. "I can't be responsible for one or both of you to getting hurt because you're not getting along."

Matt didn't miss the way she related those comments to towards both him and Kelly, but for the first time in a long time she was being really vulnerable and open with him. Tricia was forced to grow up at a young age and ever since then she believed it to be a weakness to expose her emotions. She never wanted to be the damsel in distress, she wanted to be strong and independent, and Matt suspected having a child at such a young age did nothing but reinforce all of the walls she carefully constructed.

He figured that she had given him as much vulnerability as he was going to get today so instead of pushing her for any further explanation he let her words sink in for a few moments before diverting her attention to another subject.

"That's one of my favorites—dad's too," Matt pointed, looking past her at a large double photo frame.

"Oh My God!" Tricia's jaw dropped as she turned to see the frame with a picture of her, her brother, Kelly, and Matt's girlfriend at the time in the photo. They were all hanging on each with big smiles while standing outside of a concert they had just attended by Navy Pier.

She remembered the night fondly; it was a hot July afternoon and they were all slightly wasted—it was one of her first dates with Kelly after they officially started going out. That night was the inspiration behind the award encased in the frame beside it.

"I'm surprised by you, it's not your usual taste," Tricia pointed out. "And _where_ on earth did dad get that picture?"

Matt smiled at the change in his sister's mood; it was exactly what he was hoping for. "I gave it to him."

"Ok, where did _you _get it?" she chuckled.

"Matt lower his head embarrassed to give her the answer. "Parting gift from Krissy," he said referring to the girl standing next to him in the photo.

Tricia scoffed lightly slapping her brother's arm, "Figures."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked thinking he should be offended.

"Oh come on Matt, we didn't call her 'poser' for nothing," she jested. "That girl was always ready for a snapshot," she added with a silly model like posture.

"Yeah, I guess she was," he admitted.

Tricia inhaled a deep breath deciding it was now or never. "Speaking of your girlfriends….I'm sorry about what I said the other night. I was out of line; your relationship with Hallie is none of my business. And based on my past relationships, I clearly have no room to judge anyone."

"It's alright," he told her wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. "I didn't want to hear it, but you were right. Hallie and I have had our issues and last Thanksgiving wasn't a good time for us…"

"Who was she?" Tricia asked quietly.

"Just someone I met. She was easy to talk to…I don't know…"he trailed off.

"I decided to make my life with Hallie," Matt said. "And _she_ got a job at the station so…."

"Yikes," Tricia hissed. She wasn't sure if getting the job was how the other woman found out about Hallie, but she had seen plenty of TV shows and movies that she could take a guess about how the situation played out. "We're quite the pair aren't we?"

"I guess we are," he relented nudging her leg. "Come on, mom's got more cake in the kitchen, I'll help you sneak another piece if you give up the Bears stuff I saw by the counter."

"You got a deal," she smiled as she got up and followed him out of the room.

**A/N Next chapter…..we see how Kelly reacts after Tricia turned him away.**


	12. Springsteen

**AN: Here's the next chapter, it's a little bit longer than normal because I am leaving to go on vacation for Thanksgiving Tuesday and I probably won't be able to update until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think **

***Warning: this chapter references some abuse and graphic content. Please be mindful of this when reading and know that I do not condone any type of abuse. **

***Disclaimer I do not own Chicago Fire or the characters associated with it, nor do I own any of the music or artists mentioned in this chapter or the rest of the story. **

**Chapter 11**

Leslie walked into a dark apartment after a long shift. She was surprised to find that Kelly wasn't home yet. She had been worried about him all afternoon after the Chief sent him home because of his attitude. He had been snapping at and agitating people all morning. It wasn't until the lieutenant nearly came to blows with Vargas in the middle of the station that Chief decided enough was enough and sent him home for the day.

She couldn't imagine where he would have been all day. She got her answer as she turned on the lights in their apartment. Kelly was sitting hunched over at the kitchen counter with several empty beer bottles scattered around him as he stared out the window above the sink.

"What have you been up to all day?" she asked even though it was pretty clear he had been in his current spot for quite some time.

"Things," he answered not bothering to lift his head.

"What things?" she pried.

"I had things," He finally looked up at her, annoyance written all over his face.

"You wanna go somewhere? Restaurant…bar...strip club?" she asked which made Kelly smirk.

It wasn't exactly the reaction she was going for but it was better than the attitude he had when she walked in so for now she would take it.

But after several minutes of ignoring the question, Leslie realized he had gone right back to his brooding.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Leslie put down her bag and coat before walking around the kitchen, pouring herself a drink. Then she hopped up to take a seat on the granite countertop.

Kelly inhaled deeply running his hands over his face but not answering his roommate's question.

"You have to talk to someone Severide, right now would you rather it be me or Boden?" Leslie prodded but still got nothing. "Is it safe to assume this has something to do with Matt's sister?"

He stayed quiet for a few minutes picking at the label on his beer bottle before answering. "I went to see her."

"I take it from the way you've been acting that it didn't go well?" she questioned studying his reaction.

Kelly shook his head no but didn't expand any further. Leslie took a sip of her drink as she waited for him to say something.

"I know I didn't meet you until after she was gone, but from what Darden said…"

"What Darden said," he scoffed interrupting her.

"What does that mean?" she questioned. Andy had been one of Kelly best friends. She knew how effected he had been after his death. Never before had Leslie heard the distain in his voice that he just had when they were talking about Andy.

"Look, Darden was one of my best friends, but he's the last person that should've been saying anything about Tricia….he didn't exactly approve of our relationship," he explained.

"What did he have against it?" Leslie asked trying to figure out what when wrong in Kelly's relationships with his friends and former girlfriend.

"He thought she was too young….we were too young….that Tricia was clinging to the only sense of normalcy that she knew." He shrugged taking a sip of beer and collecting his thoughts before continuing. "He didn't have Heather back then. He thought being young was all about meeting girls…sleeping around. He didn't think either one of us really knew what love was, especially not Tricia."

Leslie gave him a questioning look, not understanding where he was going with this.

"Tricia…you can't repeat this to anyone Shay. I mean that. No one outside of Casey and his parents and me and Darden even knew about this," he said completely serious.

"I promise," she told him. She would have promised him anything in that moment. She had never heard him talk so much and she was just happy that he was going to open up to her.

"When Tricia was a sophomore in high school she started dating this kid," he started to explain still looking out the window instead of at Shay. "He was older…his dad was a software engineer, really wealthy."

"Ahh…they had been together a while when she started to come home with…weird injuries…a lot of bruises." Leslie knew from all of his awkward pauses that he wasn't comfortable talking about this, so she continue to stay silent, just listening to him as he tried to piece together a way to explain this to her. "She always had some half-assed excuse for them. Casey thought it was the boyfriend. We all tried to talk to her about but she wouldn't. Her parents even ban her from seeing him. That didn't work either."

"She had just turned 17, they were going to homecoming. Casey, he, he knew something was wrong." He had a painful look on his face, almost like he could see it happening again right in front of him.

"What happened?" Leslie whispered, knowing nothing good was going to come of this.

"Tricia never came home that night….we found her on the side of the road," He paused, trying to reign in his emotions as the memories came rushing forward. "She was beaten so bad we could barely recognize her face."

"Oh my god," Leslie muttered under her breath.

"Yeah," he sighed "We all knew it was her boyfriend, his parents didn't want a…a big long trail so they took a plea deal. Got him some treatment and then shipped him off to some boarding school."

"He was popular at school though…a lot kids blamed her for what happened. She lost a lot of friends, that's when she started to spend a lot of time with me and Casey and Darden. She was around all the time….our relationship just kind of started to build slowly from there," he continued.

"After a year or so things started to unravel, she was going Boston for school….and I made squad here," he explained.

"You never asked her to stay?" Leslie questioned. It was pretty clear things weren't as cut and dry as Kelly made them seem.

"I never wanted her to resent me….who knew she would anyway," he shrugged before taking a large gulp of his drink.

"How'd Casey feel about it?" Leslie knew that somewhere in between the unraveling of Kelly and Tricia's relationship was the unraveling of his friendship with Casey.

"After Tricia left, we never talked about it." He told her with a sigh. "I don't think he had much to say about it anyway. She stopped talking to her family. When she didn't come home for Thanksgiving the first year, I went to see her. Before I even had the chance to talk to her, I saw her with some guy. They were laughing and she hugged him. She seemed happy. So I left—came back home."

"She was the first girl I ever loved," he added with a nostalgic look in his eyes.

"Only the first?" Leslie had met him shortly after Tricia left. She knew that Kelly hadn't had another serious relationship since then.

"Shay," He said looking up at his roommate for the first time that night. "She made it pretty clear she doesn't want to see me"

"I've never know you to follow rules Severide," Leslie said softly placing her hand on his arm.

He drained the rest of his beer before looking at Leslie, giving her a half-hearted smile.

"I'm gonna head up," He started towards the spiral staircase in the middle of their apartment. "I got an early shift tomorrow."

"Hey Shay," He called from his place on the staircase. "Thanks."

Leslie nodded before watching him disappear.

~~ooOoo~~

It seemed to be typical slow morning at the firehouse. All of the guys were sitting around occupying themselves with newspapers, TV, and cards, waiting for the next call to come through, when Matt was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone.

"Hello," Matt greeted.

"Oh thank god!" Tricia sounded frantic as she heard her brother's voice on the other end of the phone.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked immediately hearing the panic in her voice.

"I don't know, I woke up this morning and my face is inflamed. It looks like I have terrible sunburn or something and it's really painful! I have a meeting I have to be at today, what will make this go away?" She exclaimed.

"Alright, clam down," he told her, making his way into the kitchen searching for someone.

"Dawson!" he called motioning the EMT over to him.

"Yeah," she replied coming to his side.

Matt held the phone away from his ear, covering the mouthpiece to explain the situation. "My sister is on the phone. She said she woke up with an inflamed face….it looks like she has sunburn and is really painful. What could it be?"

"Umm…it…it could be a number of things. Has she used anything different on her skin lately?" Gabrielle inquired.

Matt relayed the question to his sister before turning back to Gabrielle. "She said she used some new face mask or something."

"What kind was it? What are the ingredients?" Gabrielle asked without so much as coming up for a breath.

Matt listened for a moment before rattling off the answers to Gabrielle. At the name of one of the ingredients Gabrielle's head snapped up quickly.

"How long did she leave it on for?" She asked cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Overnight," he answered after confirming with Tricia.

Matt noticed how Gabrielle cringed at his response, causing panic to well up inside him. "What is it?"

"I think she may have a chemical burn caused by one of the active ingredients in the product. They usually clear up on their own." Gabrielle explained. "She should be fine in a few days, but if she wants to stop by the station I can give her an ointment that will help it heal and calm down the inflammation so she can at least put some makeup on to cover up the redness."

Matt gave her a small smile as he told Tricia what Gabrielle had said before hanging up the phone.

"She's near the station so she's going to come by in a few minutes." He told her.

Gabrielle gave him a soft smile and nodded her head once before turning to walk away.

"Hey Dawson," he called after her as she turned to look at him. "Thanks."

"No problem," she smiled. "Let me know when she gets here."

A few minutes later Matt's phone chimed indicating he had a new message. He called over to Dawson and motioned for her to meet him in the apparatus.

"Hey did you guys see all the Bears stuff in Chief got for the auction?" Otis said as he walked into the kitchen right after Matt and Gabrielle's exit.

Herrmann and Mooch were occupying the couch while Mills, Cruz, and Shay were sitting at the small table behind the couch. Severide, Vargas, and the other squad guys were sitting at the end of the kitchen table playing cards.

"You need to get your eyes checked," Mooch called not moving his eyes from the newspaper in his hands.

"Yeah, the only things the auction ever gets are romantic dinner's for two and theater tickets that Cindy always bids on, then forces me to go to," Herrmann added.

"Well someone hooked him up this year," Otis insisted. "'Cause I was just in his office and he's got ticket—_box tickets_—and a bunch of other shit—jerseys, footballs, hats—all signed by guys like Cutler, Jennings, and Marshall."

"Who would do that?" Mills piped in.

"Beats me," Otis shrugged.

"Who cares," Cruz commented. "I had some money saved up for a vacation, but I am definitely going to bid on those box tickets instead."

"Good luck," Herrmann chuckled knowing that every guy in the place was going to bid on those tickets.

Some of the guys questioned Otis about what exactly was going to be auctioned off. This sparked a somewhat heated conversation between everyone in the room about what they were going to bid on. There was a lot of jesting and teasing back and forth when Casey walked back in the room in the mist of all the banter, looking for Gabrielle's bag.

"Hey Casey, what are you going to bid on at the auction?" one of the guys asked.

Matt shook his head ignoring the question. He hadn't planned on bidding on any of it. He had been the one to get all of the memorabilia donated, but he wasn't about to tell the guys that. Just like he had no intention of telling them he could get free tickets for just about any game he wanted.

"Come on Casey tell us," someone said followed by the guys heckling him for not responding.

Matt continued to ignore their teasing as he grabbed what he was looking for and started to leave the kitchen. Gabrielle was able to give Tricia something to help the irritation. She even helped his sister put her makeup on to cover up the redness. Gabrielle wanted to give her some to take with her so she could continue to use it for a few days, to ensure everything would heal well but she needed her bag.

"Casey," Chief boomed coming into the room.

"Chief," Matt addressed turning to look at him.

"Here," Chief tossed the ball he was holding towards the lieutenant who caught it effortlessly.

"What's this," Matt asked looking confused.

"It was with the other stuff, but I can't exactly auction off a football that's addressed to you," Chief told him as the other guys all looked on.

Otis came up behind Matt to read the inscription over from over his shoulder.

"Lt. Casey, Thanks for all of your hard work and dedication to the City of Chicago. –Jay Cutler." He read.

"Jay Cutler personally addressed a football to you," Otis asked in astonishment while Matt groaned in frustration. "How did you manage that and where do I sign up?"

When Matt wasn't paying attention, Otis took the ball from his hands looking at it in awe before tossing it around to the other guys.

"No shit," Herrmann muttered as he caught the football and spun it around in his hands. "Lt., you gave Chief all that stuff." He said more than asked.

"No," Matt answered tersely.

"How'd you get the football than?" Otis questioned.

Matt shook his head not answering just repeating once again that he did not donate any of it. The guys didn't believe him though, so they kept throwing questions at him. About how he got the football and who gave Chief the stuff if it wasn't him.

"He didn't donate any of it Herrmann," Tricia said as she and Gabrielle walked into the kitchen just in time to hear the tail end of the conversation. "I did."

Kelly's head snapped up at the sound of her voice. He was surprised to see her in the station, while everyone turned to look at the two women who just entered the room. One of which most had never seen before.

"You're workin' for the Bears?" He questioned with a smile. "Is that why Cindy told me to leave you alone, she's scared I'm gonna hit you up for tickets?"

"She _knew_ you'd hit me up for tickets," Tricia laughed. "And I don't work for the Bears."

Herrmann narrowed his eyes at her knowing there was something she wasn't saying.

Tricia buckled under his stare. She had always considered him to be like a father figure. Herrmann and his wife are good friends with her parents and she spent many of her high school years watching his kids. She couldn't lie to him anymore than she could her own dad.

"I _don't _work for the Bears," she insisted.

Herrmann gave her a skeptical look not quite believing her. As Matt introduced his sister to all of the guys.

"And she doesn't work for _the _Bears, only one of them," Matt added selling her out. He knew that Herrmann wouldn't drop the subject until he had the answer. Even if Tricia wasn't the one to give it to him, Matt knew Chris would hound him and his father for the answer. "Cutler to be exact—she's his agent."

Tricia raised her eyebrows at her brother shaking her head for giving up the information so fast. She wasn't mad, just like Matt she knew Herrmann would be relentless in the pursuit of his answer, she just couldn't believe he would offer it up the way he did. She had planned on making Herrmann work for it a little bit more.

"Cutler—you don't find it too difficult workin' for that arrogant prick?" Kelly piped in for the first time drawing her attention to him.

Matt tensed at first but simmered down when Gabrielle laid a hand on his shoulder, a silent sign encouraging him to let Tricia handle it.

"Cutler's a breeze—then again, I have a lot experience dealing with arrogant pricks," she said giving him a scathing look. The double meaning in her words not lost on anyone in the room.

As the two continued to stare at each other, the palpable tension could be felt throughout the entire room. After several long minutes, Gabrielle broke their staring contest by getting Tricia's attention. She directed the younger woman over to the kitchen counter, where in the mist of all the chaos Matt had placed her bag. She gave her the lotion and directions on how it should be used, before something on the TV caught her attention.

"Hey Mooch turn that up for a second," Gabrielle called noticing a signer performing on a daytime talk show. She recognized the song, she had heard it numerous times but she never knew the name of the song or the artist for that matter.

_To this day when I hear that song__  
__I see you standin' there on that lawn__  
__Discount shades, store bought tan__  
__Flip flops and cut-off jeans_

_Somewhere between that setting sun__  
__I'm on fire and born to run__  
__You looked at me and I was done__  
__And we're, we're just getting started_

Tricia froze as the music rang throughout her ears. She was immediately overcome with equal parts fear and panic. She inhaled deeply as her fanatic eyes met her brothers then looked from the TV to Kelly and back to Matt. She couldn't believe this was happening. It felt like the room was closing in on her and nobody else seemed to notice as they were all intently watching the television, except for her brother and a pair of steely blue eyes.

_I was singin' to you, you were singin' to me__  
__I was so alive, never been more free__  
__Fired up my daddy's lighter and we sang__  
__Ooohh_

_Stayed there 'til they forced us out__  
__And took the long way to your house__  
__I can still hear the sound of you sayin' don't go_

_When I think about you, I think about 17__  
__I think about my old jeep__  
__I think about the stars in the sky__  
__Funny how a melody sounds like a memory__  
__Like the soundtrack to a July Saturday night__  
__Springsteen_

_I bumped into you by happenstance__  
__You probably wouldn't even know who I am__  
__But if I whispered your name__  
__I bet there'd still be a spark_

_Back when I was gasoline__  
__And this old tattoo had brand new ink__  
__And we didn't care what your mom would think__  
__About your name on my arm__  
_

Kelly watched as Matt made his way over to his sister, pulling her to his side and whispering in her ear. Tricia didn't say anything to him just rigidly nodding her head and holding a hand over her mouth. After a moment she seemed to compose herself. She placed a hand on Matt's chest, leaning up to give him a kiss on the cheek, then thanked both him and Gabrielle and turned to leave the station.

_Baby is it spring or is it summer__  
__The guitar sound or the beat of that drummer__  
__You hear sometimes late at night__  
__On your radio_

_Even though you're a million miles away__  
__When you hear Born in the USA__  
__You relive those glory days__  
__So long ago_

_When you think about me, do you think about 17__  
__Do you think about my old jeep__  
__Think about the stars in the sky__  
__Funny how a melody sounds like a memory__  
__Like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night__  
__Springsteen__  
__Springsteen_

As Kelly listened to the final lyrics of the song he wondered if song sparked the same memories in her that it had in him.

That song brought him back to a hot July evening when he and Matt took Tricia and Matt's girlfriend at the time to see Bruce Springsteen play down by the Navy Pier. He would often think about that night. It had been one of the first times he had seen Tricia really carefree and happy after everything she had gone through. He had never told her, but that was the first night he realized that he was in love with her.

That song brought all of those memories to the surface—like it was written just for them. And if her reaction was any indication Kelly knew that despite her actions and her words the other night, he still had a chance with her.


	13. Begin Again

**AN: First, I apologize that this took me so long to post! Every time I intended to write life got in the way. That being said the next few weeks for me are going to be really busy! Between work, the holidays, family, and travel, I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have to write. I'm hoping to have another update or two before Christmas but after that there probably won't be one until after the New Year. When all of the craziness dies down in the beginning of January I hope to be back to updating regularly. Thanks so much for your patience and understanding and staying with me, I love reading all of your reviews and appreciate the support. **

**That being said, this chapter is really just a transition chapter…I am hoping to move the story along in the next few chapters that follow. **

***Disclaimer I don't own Chicago Fire or any of it's character's—sadly they belong to Dick Wolfe and NBC. Tricia and K.C. however are mine **

**Begin Again**

Gabriella settled into a comfy booth with cup of warm coffee as she waited for her partner to join her. Dipasquale's was one of their favorite café's to come to when one of them was having a bad day. There was nothing that a cup of coffee and their famous triple layer German chocolate cake couldn't cure.

"Please Mamma," a little girl in a red pea coat with big gold buttons pleaded. She pressed her little face and hands against the glass, looking longingly at the pastries that filled the case.

"No," Her mother responded for the umpteenth time. The petite woman had her back to Gabrielle as she talked to the pastry chef who was standing behind the counter, presumably about an order she was placing.

The little girl pouted as her mother denied her the sugary sweetness once again and went back to starting at the desserts.

At first glance, it appeared that the woman wasn't even paying attention to the child at her side, something Gabriella had witnessed high society Chicago women do many times before. And that was exactly what these two looked like. Both mother and daughter were impeccably dressed and neither had a hair out of place. However, the more she watched the woman, whose face she couldn't make out, the more she realized she was not like one of those hoity toity bitches.

Instead, she was very in tune with her child. Every time the little girl would start to get restless and wonder her mother's delicate hand would shoot out and stop the child from walking any further than an arm's length away from her.

"People watching," Leslie smirked as she broke Gabriella out of her thoughts as she sat down across from her.

"Hey," Gabriella greeted as she tore her gaze away from the child and her mother.

"I ordered you a coffee and raspberry croissant," Gabriella told Leslie as she got settled into the booth, taking off her scarf and jacket.

"No cake," Leslie pouted as a waitress placed a cup of coffee in front of her.

"It's a little early death by chocolate don't ya think Shay?" Gabriella joked as her eyes once again wondered to the mother and daughter at the counter.

"I suppose you have a point," Leslie eyes followed Gabriella's to see what her friend found so interesting.

"I know that girl," Leslie said as she watched the child now tugging on the sleeve of her mother's coat.

"Really?" Gabriella was surprised, as far as she knew Leslie didn't spend much time with kids at all.

"Yeah," Leslie answered. "She was with Hallie the other day at the firehouse. She said she was watching her for a friend."

"That's right," Gabriella recalled seeing Hallie briefly at the firehouse earlier in the week. She said she was dropping something off for Matt. She couldn't believe that she missed the woman walking out with the child, but she chalked it up to having a lot on her mind that day.

"Wait, isn't that Matt's sister?" Leslie questioned as the child's mother turned around giving both women a view of her face for the first time.

"Yeah…yeah it is," Gabriella and Leslie watched as she picked up the child and held her in front of the glass case, finally allowing her to pick out one of the treats she had previously been begging for.

"She has a kid," Leslie stated although it sounded more like a question.

Gabriella sat there her mouth hanging open slightly. Even though Shay was one of her best friends she didn't want to betray Matt's trust. As far as she knew, other than Hallie, she was the only one Matt had mentioned his niece too. As much as she loved Shay, Gabriella knew if she even had the slighted hint that little girl could be Severide's, she would never hide it from him.

"Call her over here," Leslie said causing Gabriella to look up at her with knitted eyebrows.

"What? Why?"

"Oh come on," Leslie said exasperated. "You aren't the least bit curious about her…the only girl who can apparently tie Severide up in knots?"

Gabriella rolled her eyes, she knew Leslie would somehow equate this to her roommate. Leslie hated when he would try to hide stuff from her. Gabriella thought their relationship was more like a brother and sister versus just roommates and friends. Then again, they probably did think of each other like family considering neither of them were close to their real families.

"If you find her so interesting why don't you ask her to come over here?" Gabriella questioned.

Leslie sighed, "Me? I barely met her once at the station. You on the other hand have actually spent time with her. It wouldn't be weird for you to talk to her."

Gabriella narrowed her eyes at her partner, gearing up to argue that Leslie should just leave the poor girl alone. But before she could get her point across, Tricia's little girl made the decision for them.

"Mommy look!" The K.C. shouted in her mother's ear while looking over her shoulder.

Gabriella and Leslie watched as Tricia turned her head to look at her daughter. They could see her speaking but they couldn't make out what she was saying to the little girl. Then several seconds later they saw Tricia focus her attention on them as her little girl was pointing at Leslie.

A few minutes later, a waitress came over and placed a tray with an assortment of pastries on their table. Both girls looked at each other in confused, before the waitress noticed and explained.

"These are compliments from the woman over at the counter," she said with a smile before walking away.

"Looks like we don't need you to make introductions after all," Leslie mumbled several minutes later as the little girl started to run towards them, Tricia following diligently behind her.

"Hi Leslie," an excited K.C. greeted standing in front of their EMT's table. "Mommy, this my friend Leslie, I meet her at da firehouse."

"Hi Gabriella," Tricia said offering both woman a smile. "It's nice to officially meet you Leslie. You made quite the impression on her the other day."

Leslie smiled at K.C. before turning to Tricia, "She's a great kid."

Tricia smiled proudly while looking down at her daughter and putting an arm around her shoulder, pulling her up against her legs.

"Yeah, she is," she responded softly. Her voice was filled with pride as she ruffed her daughter's curls and looked down at her lovingly.

There were a lot of decisions Tricia made in her life that she wasn't proud of, but her daughter was not one of them. She would have loved for her to have been born under different circumstances, but she would never regret having her. She still wasn't sure how she got so lucky; her daughter was one of the sweetest, most angelic kids ever. Tricia was well aware of the fact that K.C.'s temperament had little to do with her parenting and more to do with the type of person her daughter was destined to be. But no matter what the reason, her daughter was one of the few things that made her genuinely happy these days.

"Thank you," Gabriella said gesturing to the tray on the table. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," Tricia smiled. "I really appreciate you helping me out so quickly the other day. I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for you. It would have been extremely embarrassing if I had to show up at work looking like that."

"Would you guys like to join us?" Leslie asked, ignoring the daggers her partner was shooting at her.

"Oh, ummm….thank you, but we really have to get going," Tricia really liked Gabriella, and she could see herself being friends with both her and Leslie. They just seemed like the type of girls she would enjoy hanging out with, but her brother was engaged to Hallie and she knew her future sister-in-law wasn't the biggest fan of either of the women. And even though she wasn't exactly Hallie's biggest fan either, she was extremely loyal to her family. It was extremely important to her that they knew she supported them, especially after everything she had put them through the past few years.

She also hadn't forgotten how Matt and told her the girl he had gotten involved with, while he and Hallie had been going through a rough patch, had gotten a job at the station. She knew there weren't many women working at the station, and judging from her and Matt's interaction the other day Tricia would bet good money that girl was Gabriella. That would also explain the aversion Hallie seemed to have towards the paramedics.

Gabriella's head snapped up as she got a swift kick to the shin from under the table. She gave her friend, the culprit of the attack, a hard stare before looking over at Matt's sister.

"Are you sure?" She smiled softly. "There's no way we're going to be able to eat all of this."

Tricia looked at her watch, gearing up to decline once again when a little voice made her change her mind.

"Please Mamma," K.C. begged, looking up at her with big sad eyes.

That look was Tricia's undoing. She never wanted to be one of those parents who indulged their child's every desire because they felt guilty about what they couldn't give them—a father in Tricia's case.

But every once and a while she couldn't help herself from giving in, something Tricia found herself doing more and more since she'd returned to Chicago. She was chalking it up to the fact that she felt guilty for uprooting her daughter from the only home she'd ever known. No matter the reason, Tricia knew eventually it would have to stop, but apparently today was not the day to try to put her foot down.

"Ok," she relented, "but we can only stay for 10 minutes, and then we really have to go."

She wasn't surprised when after only a few minutes her daughter couldn't seem to stop talking about everything from the kids in her class, to the fun places her Uncle Matt takes her to on his days off.

She realized that some parents might be concerned if their child was more comfortable around adults versus kids their own age, but Tricia wasn't worried about it because that's all K.C. ever knew.

In Boston, Tricia had a close group of friends, none of which had kids, who were always hanging out at her apartment. Even when she had to go away for business, K.C. always went with her. She grew up around adults, which was probably why she acted like a little adult herself most of the time. But that changed when they moved to Chicago. Now, K.C. spent most of her time with her mother or in preschool. The only adults she's around these days are Tricia's parents or Matt and Hallie. It's been a big change for her, something Tricia tends to forget until times like this remind her.

Times like this also reminded her that despite having grown up in Chicago, she had no friends in the area other than her family. Even though she had reservations about becoming friendly with the two women in front of her, especially considering their connection to the firehouse, she couldn't deny that it would be nice to have some friends close by.

Tricia had been lost in her thoughts about how nice it would be to make some new friends, but she was jolted right back to reality as she heard the tail end of her daughters conversation.

"So, what are you going to be for Halloween?" Gabriella asked the talkative child.

"I'm be superman," she beamed.

"Don't you mean superwoman?" The EMT asked, thinking the little girl may have gotten her superheroes confused.

"Nooo," K.C. responded dragging out the word in annoyance. "I mean _superman_."

Gabriella smiled at the feisty child, "My mistake," she apologized.

"Superman," Leslie pondered, thinking about her conversation with K.C. the other day. "Is that because you want to be like your daddy?"

Before the child could answer, Tricia was staring at the blond woman with disbelief.

"Excuse me," she asked, her guards shooting up—immediately putting her on the defense.

K.C. lowered her head and shrugged her shoulders; afraid she was going to get in trouble.

Watching her daughter's reaction reminded Tricia of where she was and the two women she was around. She knew if she was hostile towards them it would only cause unwanted attention towards the subject, so she quickly composed herself, then cut off a shocked Leslie who was trying to stammer up an apology.

"K.C. we got your Halloween costume last week, you said you wanted to be Jasmine from Aladdin," Tricia said hoping that she was able to mask her initial reaction.

"Did you change your mind?" she asked her daughter, as the other two women looked back and forth between them.

Gabriella didn't miss Tricia's initial reaction but she could see that the younger woman was trying hard to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. She figured that Shay must have hit a nerve when she mentioned the child's father, especially after everything she had learned from Matt. But she also understood why Tricia wouldn't want to discuss that issue with two people she barely knew, so she didn't comment on her reaction at all.

K.C. tilted her head to the side for a moment before slapping her palm against her forehead. "Oh yeah," she said remembering before a big smile came over her face and she turned to look at Leslie again. "I be Jasmine," she told her.

Both girls laughed at the child's innocence before moving on to another subject.

"So, Hallie was telling me about a show down in Logan Square tomorrow night," Gabriella said looking at Tricia. "Did she mention it to you? Because Shay and I are gonna go check it out after work if you'd like to join us."

"Actually, I know one of the guys who's playing and I'm supposed to meet Hallie there when she gets out of work," Tricia explained.

"Great," Gabriella smiled politely.

"Yeah," Tricia sighed softly, suddenly feeling awkward around the women. "Well, we should get going." She grabbed both of their jackets and slid out of the booth to help K.C. put on her coat.

"It was good seeing you again Tricia," Gabriella said. "Thanks again for the pastries."

"Yeah," Leslie agreed.

"No problem," the younger woman responded. "Maybe I'll see you guys tomorrow night," she offered before she made her way out of the café with her daughter in tow.


	14. How Dare You

**Bad news first, this is going to be my last update until the New Year. Good news, for all of you dying to find out who K.C's father is….get to reading! Wishing everyone a happy and safe holiday **** See you all in 2013!**

***Disclaimer I don't own Chicago Fire or any of its character's—sadly they belong to Dick Wolfe and NBC. Tricia and K.C. however are mine **

**How Dare You—**

Tricia walked into the coffee house mid-afternoon, knowing Eric would already be there getting ready for his show tonight.

"Hey," she said as she walked over to the small stage where he and a couple of other guys were setting up.

"Hi," he beamed as he shifted his focus from the amp in front of him to her.

"Looks great," Tricia commented gesturing towards the stage. "Can't wait to hear your new stuff."

Eric smirked as he looked her over. She hadn't changed much since the last time he saw her, but it never ceased to amaze him how good she looked.

"We have an extra mic," he smirked, watching her closely to gage her reaction.

Tricia's head snapped in his direction, her eyes wide in surprise.

"No!" she said quickly, taking a defensive stance.

"Oh come on," he goaded. "Not even one, for old time sake?"

Tricia gave him a weak smile while shaking her head no, "I never did fit in down at The Bluebird," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"You could have," he muttered under his breath, "but you never wanted to."

Eric picked up the wires sitting on top of the amp he had been working on prior to Tricia's appearance. He started to go about plugging things in and getting everything ready, while still holding a conversation with her. He was starting to get frustrated with her and he knew if he didn't keep himself busy things could go bad very quickly.

She ignored his comment, knowing it was probably meant to hurt her. The fact of the matter was, at that moment she just didn't care. She knew that Eric held her responsible for the way certain things played out. She felt bad that he was unhappy with her decision but she had to do what was right for her, and the life he was chasing was no way to raise a child.

Tricia knew that he resented her for some of the decisions she made. It was difficult at the time to walk away. She was the first person to admit that it was fun while it lasted, but it couldn't last forever. Her responsibility was to herself and her daughter—for that reason alone she would never regret walking away when she did.

Eric stumbled around for a while without her, finally finding his place playing guitar in the band for a famous country singer. She heard that when he wasn't on the road he would go out and do his own thing at small established coffee houses around the country. He'd never been able to reach the level of success they'd been on their way to when she walked away.

He blamed her, of that she was sure. She just couldn't figure out what he blamed her for more—his diminished success or the ache she left in his heart as she walked out the door.

Tricia had always been honest with him. She'd told him she wasn't capable of giving him what he wanted or accepting what he offered. She was selfish, she needed his friendship. Despite all of their hardships, Eric had seen her through one of the darkest points in her life, for that she would always be grateful.

"I've heard some of your stuff," Tricia told him trying to stay on a neutral subject. "It sounds good…real good."

He shrugged noncommittally, not saying anything, just letting her comment loom over them like and ominous cloud.

Tricia tapped her foot impatiently as Eric went about setting up the stage, not saying another thing to her. She rubbed the back of her neck, before picking up her bag,, getting ready to leave.

"I guess I'll see you later tonight then," she said before spinning on her heel with the intention of leaving.

"How's our girl?" Eric called after her causing Tricia to whip around so fast she may have given herself whiplash.

"Eric," she said softly not knowing how to respond to him.

"Come on," he grinned walking towards her. "You can't tell me she doesn't miss me."

"Of course she misses you," She tried to comfort him by resting her hand on his forearm. "But that doesn't change anything Eric."

She shrugged helplessly as she lowered her hand. Eric had been a big part of their lives, but things changed between them long before she left for Chicago. Tricia hadn't wanted to confuse K.C., so Tricia felt it was best to distance themselves from him when she gave everything else up. It was something Eric never seemed to accept.

"I have a present for her," he said trying to talk Tricia into letting him see her. "I was going to mail it, but when I found out I was doing a show here I thought I'd bring it to her instead."

Tricia lowered her head, sighing in frustration. "You shouldn't have done that."

Eric stepped away from her, scoffing in disbelief.

"This is about _him_," he accused.

"No," Tricia interjected only to be shut down by him before she could explain.

"So what, it's convenient for him to be a father now that there's not a 1,000 miles between you?"

Tricia could see the rage building in him. It wasn't her intention to get into a fight with him, but she wouldn't stand idly by while he passed judgment on a situation that wasn't any of his business.

"You don't understand," Tricia tried to reason in an effort to calm him down, though it seemed to have the opposite effect.

"I don't understand," he argued, getting upset. "Your right, I don't understand how you can just let him waltz back into your life—into _her _life—like he did nothing wrong."

"I peeled you off the bathroom floor when _he_ left you heartbroken and alone. I was there when you were admitted to the hospital in a fucking catatonic state because _he_ told you to get rid of the baby. You remember that, don't you? How you were so sick over what he did to you that you almost lost her?"

"Stop," Tricia whispered on the verge of having a complete breakdown in the middle of the empty coffee house.

There wasn't a day that went by that those memories didn't haunt her. She had learned to deal with them in her own way, but she certainly didn't appreciate Eric throwing them in her face like he was right now.

"I was there when she said her first word…when she took her first steps. I held her as you bandaged her up the first time she skinned her knee. I would do anything for that little girl…I love her like she's my own daughter and you know that." Eric continued to argue.

"She is _not _your daughter," Tricia seethed.

"No she's not. I would have happily accepted that role but you never gave me that chance." Eric began pacing in front of her, this had been building up in him for years and while he didn't plan on bringing it up during this trip he needed to get it all out in the open now that they were broaching the subject.

"I never gave you that chance because I wasn't capable of giving you the kind of relationship you wanted. Accepting anything other than your friendship wouldn't have been fair to you or my daughter, I was _always_ honest with you about that." Tricia said defending herself.

"Because you were hung on him—hell you're still hung up on him. No one else ever stood a chance."

Tricia shook her head at the man she once considered a friend.

"You know what I find funny Eric…_you never once_ complained about inability to get over him when it was making you money and skyrocketing you to fame," She seethed through gritted teeth. "But I guess now that it's not _convenient for you_, you're going to use it against me."

"You don't have to remind me of the hell that I went through," Tricia continued. "I am _painfully _aware of the fact that he's not perfect….but you could only _hope _to be half the man Kelly Severide is."

"All these years and your still going to stand here and defend him," he sneered. "Don't come crying to me when he walks away after he knocks you up again."

"They say over time you see people's true colors….I guess you just showed me yours. And now I have nothing left to say to you except goodbye." With that Tricia spun on her heels and left the coffee house without another word.

~~ooOoo~~

Tricia walked out of her kitchen with a glass of wine in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other. She set both on her coffee table, and grabbed the remote and afghan off the back of the couch before setting into the sofa to watch a movie.

She had just gotten herself situated when the ringing of her doorbell disrupted her quiet evening. With a sigh she threw the afghan off her lap and tossed the remote onto the coffee table with her dinner.

"Gabriella," Tricia said in surprise as she leaned against the door jam. When she heard her doorbell ring she wasn't sure who to expect, but it certainly wasn't the EMT who worked with her brother.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Hallie said you bailed on her tonight," the paramedic began to answer before Tricia cut her off.

"Yeah…K.C," she started to explain, shrugging a shoulder towards the inside of the home.

"Is with your mom," Gabriella interrupted with a knowing smile.

Tricia cringed at being busted for lying. "Yeah," she sighed.

"I'm not trying to ruin your night, so if you want to be alone just say so. I know it's got to be tough being a single mom and you probably cherish the time you get to yourself, it's just…" Gabriella trailed off for a moment choosing her next words carefully.

"Shay bailed on me and then Matt mentioned that something must be wrong if you weren't going to see your friend. I thought maybe you could use a friend to talk to or we could just hang out," she said hopefully.

"I'm afraid I can't offer you much more than popcorn for dinner, but I just opened a bottle of wine if you want a glass," Tricia offered opening the door further to allow Gabriella to come in.

"Or," Gabriella said pulling a bottle from behind her back. "I brought something a little stronger."

"Tequila," Tricia said with a laugh. "That's even better."

**A/N: Someone else is going to find out really soon that Kelly has a daughter….can you guess who it is?**


	15. Johnny and June

**A/N: Here's the first chapter of the New Year! Hope everyone had a great holiday season. As always thanks for all the reviews and support! I appreciate them all!**

**Johnny and June**

It was a bitter cold Chicago night; the kind of cold that chilled you to the bone. It was a warning that winter was on its way and it was going to be a bitch. It was just the kind of night that Tricia hated, even more so now that she was stranded on the side of the road after her car broke down.

She kicked the front tire in frustration as the wind whipped around her long hair.

"Damn it," She muttered as her phone chimed with another alert from AAA, letting her know they are once again delayed.

The light rain that had been present for most of the day had now turned into a strong downpour. She wiped the rain drops from her face as she once again hovered over the open hood of the SUV. It wasn't doing any good; she had no idea what she was looking for.

Tricia pulled her long trench coat tighter against her small frame. She was silently cursing herself for choosing the trench coat instead of opting for her much warmer North Face Parka. She knew it was supposed to be a cold day, but the trench coat was more appropriate with her outfit. She figured she could handle the cold for the few minutes it took to get out of her car and into her house or office. She did not account for her car breaking down and being stuck in the rain.

_Don't worry about K.C…we'll keep her for the night. Get your car taken care of. –Mom_

Tricia breathed a sigh of relief as she read the text that just came in from her mother. Her daughter was one less thing that she had to worry about tonight. She knew that K.C. would be very happy to spend the night with her grandparents and that they would take good care of her.

She was debating whether or not to get back into her car and wait when a sleek black muscle car that looked like a fairly new Dodge Challenger, pulled up beside her.

"Hey," called a voice called through the open passenger window of the car. "You need help?"

It was so dark that Tricia couldn't make out the face of the man in the car. Although, she wasn't keen on waiting any longer for AAA, she didn't know this man and she knew her brother and/or her parents would kill her if she put herself in a situation that got her hurt.

"I'm good," Tricia declined the offer with a wave of her hand.

"You sure," the man asked. He could see that despite her words it looked like she could use some help.

"Yeah," She waved him off and then continued to peer under the hood of the car hoping that if she looked long enough she would suddenly know something about cars.

As the car pulled away Tricia shifted from one foot to the other, a sign of her impatience. The chime of her phone indicated her that due to the severe weather conditions, AAA would be delayed once again.

"Are you kidding me?!" Tricia shouted in frustration. She silently wished that she had accepted the help that was offered a few minutes earlier.

She brought her hand to her face to push her hair out of her face when a hand on her shoulder caused her to jump in surprise.

"Kelly," she gasped, raising a hand to her chest. "You scared the shit out of me!" Tricia scolded lightly punching his arm.

Kelly chuckled as he held an umbrella over the both of them.

"Sorry," Kelly smirked not looking sorry at all. "I figured that you didn't realize me or you were hell bent on not accepting my help. Either way, ya look like you could use it."

Tricia resumed her nervous habit of shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She had her hands stuffed into the pockets of her trench coat as she looked at the pavement before focusing on Kelly.

"I didn't realize it was you," she told him sincerely. "But I called AAA and they're gonna be here in a few minutes, so…"

"So what…they're gonna be another hour…hour and half?" Kelly asked.

Tricia scoffed at the way he could easily assess a situation.

"Kelly," she sighed with a shrug, kicking around a rock on the asphalt.

"Alright," Kelly could see that she wasn't going to make it easy to offer her assistance. He knew the best way to go about this was to show her that he wasn't going to give her a choice.

"You got two options Tee." Kelly said sternly. "You let me look at your car or we both go wait in mine until AAA comes. But I'm not leaving you here."

Tricia pursed her lips and titled her head to the side. She gave Kelly a hard stare gaging his seriousness. When she saw that he wasn't going to back down, she relented. Tricia took a step back and lifted an arm gesturing towards the hood of her car, giving him permission to look at it.

Kelly handed her the umbrella as he peered into the SUV. Tricia watched closely as he bent over the front of the car inspecting the engine. He tinkered with a few things before sighing. He closed the hood and wiped his hands on the front of his jeans.

"What's the verdict?" Tricia asked nervously. She could tell from the look on Kelly's face that it probably wasn't going to be good news.

"It's your fuel pump," Kelly took the umbrella back from her as he watched her grimace and her shoulders tense from stress. "You're gonna need a new one."

"Great," She muttered while rubbing her temples, trying to wish the problem away.

"Hey….I can fix it," Kelly offered.

"Really?" Tricia was more than aware of the fact the Kelly was a great mechanic; she was just skeptical as to why he was so willing to help her. She hadn't exactly been receptive towards seeing him again. She wasn't even thrilled to see him tonight, but she was freezing her ass off in horrible weather and she wasn't really in any position to turn down help.

"Yeah, I need to get some tools from my apartment, but I can fix it." He paused for a moment, when she didn't answer him, he continued.

"You used to trust me with the Jeep," Kelly said referring to Tricia's first car. "You don't think I can handle a Range Rover?"

"You're a good mechanic," she said softly.

"You're gonna let me fix your car," He wasn't asking a question, they both knew that Tricia was going to let him do it.

"Go get your tools….I'll wait," she told him.

"Nice try," Kelly could see right through her innocent smile. They weren't in the worst part of the city but it was far from the best. He told himself that Matt would kill him if he knew Kelly left his sister on the side of the road by herself. The truth was Kelly would never be able to forgive himself if he left and something were to happen to her.

"I'm not leaving you here. Get in the car." He told her leaving no room for an agreement.

Kelly could be just as stubborn as she was, Tricia stomped over to the front seat of the SUV, grabbed her purse and locked it up before getting into the passenger seat of Kelly's car.

The car ride was fairly awkward as neither one of them knew what to say to the other. Kelly had tried to start a conversation with her, but Tricia was quick to shut him down. She didn't want to seem ungrateful for his assistance but she didn't feel that now was the appropriate time to hash out their differences.

She didn't know if there was ever going to be an appropriate time to hash out everything that happened between them but she was going to try to avoid it for as long as possible. Kelly had really hurt her; it had taken years and a lot of professional help to get to where she was today. She was terrified that rehashing the past would bring her back to the broken teenager she left behind. It was a person she never wanted to be again. A person she never wanted her daughter to know.

They were stopped at a red light, still a good 10 minutes away from Kelly's apartment, when the ringing of his cell phone broke the silence.

"Hey," Kelly said after a quick glance at the screen.

Tricia watched as he listened intently before running a hand over his face.

"How bad?" Kelly asked peaking Tricia's curiosity.

"Yeah," Kelly sighed as the light turned green and he started to drive again. "Thanks Mike, I'll be there as soon as I can."

He listened for a few more seconds, his face contorting in pain. "I understand….thanks man."

There were only two people who could cause Kelly that kind of heart ache. One was sitting beside him, the other wasn't. After hearing Mike's name, it was clear to Tricia who Kelly's phone call was about. He ended the call and dropped the phone into the empty cup holder.

"Is it ok if I just drop you off? I'll get the tools and fix your car in the morning. I gotta do something right now," he explained, the anxiety he was feeling rolling off of him in waves.

Tricia reached across the consult, lightly placing her hand on his forearm. "Go get him," she said softly, letting him knew that she was aware of what was happening.

"Tee," he tried to argue. He appreciated her being so understanding but he really didn't want her to see him when he was like this. It had been a long time since he had someone to help him deal with this. He knew her sympathy was well meaning, but he had been struggling with this on his own for years. He didn't want others to see his weakness, so this was something he always kept to himself.

"Kelly," Tricia used the authoritative voice she used with her daughter when she didn't want an argument. "Just because I haven't lived here in a while doesn't mean I don't remember how to get around Chicago. The bar is a couple blocks away from here—my house is a lot further than that. Go get him Kel."

Seeing that Tricia wasn't going to relent easily he gave her a half smile, nodded once, and began to drive in the direction of the bar.

~~ooOoo~~

"Alright….let's go," Kelly said as he parked in front of the run down bar.

"You don't want me to stay in the car?" Tricia questioned.

"Very funny," he deadpanned. There was no way Kelly was going to leave her alone in the car in this part of town. He knew Tricia knew that so he didn't find her questions amusing.

"Go sit over there," Kelly directed pointing to an empty stool at the end of the bar.

Tricia gave him an exasperated look which was returned by a hard stare. She scoffed before holding her hands up in surrender.

"Ok," she sighed making her way over to the stool while Kelly went in search of Mike.

"Can I get you anything?" The bartender asked as Tricia sat down. She declined his offer as she turned in the stool, her eyes scanning the room for the reason they were here.

"Well, well, well," slurred a voice from behind her. "Tricia Casey. It's been a long time…."

"Benny," she replied turning to see the face that belonged to the voice. He looked much older than she remembered. His face and cheeks were a bright red color, his eyes were glassy, his forehead was riddled with fine lines and wrinkles, and his breath reeked with the stench of whiskey. He was nothing but a shell of the man she once knew.

"Does my son know you're here?" Tricia knew he was referring to Chicago and not the bar, but either way she wanted him to know that Kelly knew exactly what he was up to.

"Who else do you think could get me into this dive?" She joked lightly.

"Let me buy you a drink," the older Severide offered.

"I don't think you need another drink Benny," Tricia was trying to be diplomatic. She knew that he could be stubborn, just like his son.

"Come on doll….I'm an old man, let me have my fun." Benny lifted one side of his face, giving her a lopsided smile. The same one that Kelly had adopted from his father. And despite the obvious difference in age, Tricia could see the similarities in the two men.

"You've had enough fun for tonight," She told him.

"I'll be the judge of when I've had enough." Benny said indignantly.

"Whiskey." He demanded from the bartender as he slammed his empty glass on the bar.

The man behind the counter declined him, which only further infuriated Benny.

"This is your fault girl," he seethed pointing a finger in Tricia's face.

"That's enough Dad," Kelly demanded coming up behind Tricia, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Even Benny knew not to argue with his brooding son.

"Let's go," At Kelly's words Tricia got off the stool but Benny made no move to follow them.

"We're leaving Dad,"

"I'm not going anywhere,"

Tricia watched as Kelly got right up in his father's face. Both men were staring at each other with hard eyes, neither willing to be the first to back down. Tricia saw Mike starting to make his way out of the backroom, not wanting to cause an even bigger scene she decided to intervene.

"Come on Benny," Tricia encouraged. "The bartender can't serve you anymore tonight. I'm willing to bet you have a nice bottle of whiskey at the house. What you say? I'll even have a glass with you," she reasoned.

"That's the best idea you've had all night."

It was less of a hassle getting Benny to the car now that he was cooperating with them. But the ride home did not go as smoothly. Benny was slurring his words and talking about things that didn't make sense to either of them. Although there was nothing funny about the situation, Tricia couldn't help the laughter that escaped her. She tried to stifle it, but to no avail.

Hearing her laughter, Kelly peeked at her from the corner of his eyes. Seeing her so light hearted softened him up immensely. Even he had to admit, he could see where her laughter was coming from. The entire situation just seemed so absurd.

They were stopped at a red light when Tricia turned her head towards Kelly and caught him staring at her. When they locked eyes Tricia saw something in his face that she hadn't seen in years. It was the one thing that terrified her more than anything else in the entire world.

Their moment was interrupted by a belligerent Benny, who moved forward so that he was directly in-between them.

"I can see why he's so infatuated with you," Benny told Tricia as he patted her hair. "You're just like her."

Tricia looked over at Kelly once again. He gave her a small smile and then turned his head to focus on the road. She could see the sadness that filled his eyes at his father's comment.

By the time they pulled up to Benny's house, the same house that Kelly had grown up in, the weather had worsened substantially and the older man was passed out in the back seat.

Kelly helped his father out of the car and into his bedroom while Tricia brought in both of their belongings from the car. She set everything down on the couch before taking a look around. There wasn't a thing out of place in the spacious living room. It had been nearly 10 years, but Benny hadn't changed a single thing. Tricia wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Hey," Kelly said getting her attention as he came down the stairs.

"I love this photo," Tricia commented as she placed the photograph in her hands back on the mantle as she faced him. "What'd your dad always say? They were like…"

"Johnny and June," Kelly finished for her as they shared a smile.

"So…I'm gonna stay here tonight," He rubbed the back of his neck and shifted his feet.

"Sounds like a good idea," Tricia smiled. "I called a cab. They're a little backed up because of the weather but…."

"Tee," Kelly sighed.

"It's fine Kelly," she assured him.

"It's not fine," he countered. "Why don't you spend the night here? I have some clothes you can borrow…take the guest room and in the morning we'll get my tools and I'll take you to your car."

"I don't want to impose." She said with a shrug.

"You're not imposing….quite frankly I don't know if I can handle being alone right now," he admitted.

"Ok," she agreed.

~~ooOoo~~

A while later after Tricia had changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants that Kelly had given her they found themselves sitting on either end of the couch, with Kelly flipping through T.V. channels.

"How long has he…" Tricia had been wrestling with the question ever since Kelly had gotten the phone call from Mike telling him that he needed to pick his father up from the bar.

"A couple years….off and on—more off than on," he explained shyly. He knew Tricia wasn't judging him, she was merely curious. Benny had been doing so well when she left.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She really was sympathetic towards the situation.

"Me too," Kelly was hopeful that her current mood would give them the chance to talk about everything that happened between them. It was a subject they had been avoiding all night, but he felt now might be the perfect time to broach it.

"Tee," He said looking at her intently. "We need to talk about…"

"I know," she replied cutting him off.

"I didn't…" Kelly started but they were interrupted but his father's voice yelling for him.

They both stayed silent for a moment until they heard Benny calling for his son again.

"You should go check on him," Tricia encouraged.

Kelly nodded in agreement as he rose from the sofa and started to make his way up the stairs. He stopped half way, resting his arm on the banister and then bending at the waist so his forehead could rest on his arm.

"This isn't over," he waited until Tricia gave him a nod in acknowledgement and then continued his way up the stairs.

By the time he came back into the living room. Tricia was sound asleep on the couch. He slid one arm underneath her shoulders and the other under her knees, picking her up and carrying her into the guest room. After he got her situated, he sat on the edge of the bed just watching her for a few moments.

He couldn't believe how peaceful and angelic she still looked as she slept. Her lips lightly pursed and her hair splattered across the pillow. As he started to get up he felt her shift, her eyebrows knitted together and her face suddenly contorted in panic.

"Kelly," she whispered causing him to freeze in his spot. When he was sure that she was in fact still asleep he made another move to leave but her voice stopped him once again.

"Kelly…don't leave me," she pleaded in her sleep.

Kelly felt his heart melt at her words. He would be lying if he said he wasn't secretly thrilled that she appeared to be dreaming about him.

"I'm never going to leave you again," he vowed tenderly as he brushed the hair off her face and leaned down to place a soft kiss on her forehead before turning off the light and exiting the bedroom.


	16. No One Will Ever Love You

**A/N: Hello thank you all for sticking with me. I know I told some of you this update would be posted by Thursday, but work has been kicking my ass lately. I think from now on I am just going to just shoot for updating every Sunday. That seems to be a good day for me to write, especially now that my Giants are out of the play offs :(**

**This chapter will start to move things forward a bit. It will answer some questions but it might leave you asking some new ones ;) Now onto the new chapter.**

**No One Will Ever Love You…**

"Something smells good," Tricia commented as she made her way into the kitchen the following morning.

Benny stood in front of the stove flipping pancakes in one pan and scrambled eggs in the other.

"Sit…sit," Benny said as he scurried around the counter still holding a spatula and ushering Tricia into a chair at the table.

Tricia's eyes widen at the spread in front of her. There was a large bowl of fresh cut fruit, platters filled with bacon, sausage, pancakes, and toast. Benny had set out all kinds of condiments from hot sauce and ketchup to real maple syrup.

"What can I get you? Coffee, tea, juice?" He asked.

"I can get it," Tricia started to get up from the chair but Benny quickly stopped her insisting he would get her drink for her. Before Tricia even had time to blink a large mug of coffee was set in front of her. Next to it was a delicate porcelain sugar and creamer set that Tricia recognized as belonging to Kelly's mother.

"They were her favorite," Benny commented as he saw Tricia holding the creamer, her finger gently tracing the delicate pattern.

"I remember," Tricia replied softly, her eyes never leaving the creamer.

"You were doing so well….what happened?" Tricia knew this conversation could led them down a dangerous path, but for her own sanity she needed to find out the truth.

Benny placed the spatula he was holding on the counter and turned the burner off before taking the seat next to the woman he hoped would someday be his daughter-in-law.

"I tried…I did," Benny's words were sincere, Tricia could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Try again," Tricia encouraged. Just because she had a complicated relationship with his son didn't mean she didn't want the best for both of them. Mrs. Severide would roll over in her grave if she knew the affects her death had on her family. She would be the first to go after her husband for turning to a bottle instead of being there for their son at such a dire time.

By the time she and Kelly had gotten together, his mother had been dead for several years. Despite the amount of time, she saw how much he still struggled with her passing, especially with the way his father chose to deal with it.

"He needs you," She told him. "He lost his mother, he watched her suffer. He doesn't need to watch you suffer too." When Benny didn't respond Tricia continued.

"Ya know that he told me once, at the end, he used to _pray_ for her die because he couldn't _bare _to watch her suffer in pain another day."

The tears began to well up in her eyes as she thought about everything Kelly had gone through—everything he's lost—and yet despite that, underneath his tough exterior, there was an amazingly compassionate man.

"It's bad enough he lost one parent, he doesn't need to lose another one."

"He hasn't lost me…I'm right here." Benny said defending himself.

"You're not fooling anyone but yourself." Tricia pushed away the plate that was in front of her and stood. She turned around a second later placing a hand on the back of the chair while she garnered Benny's attention again.

"What you're doing is worse," she told him. "Catherine was sick, you're _choosing_ to slowly kill yourself. I know it's hard losing the person you loved more than anything else, but you have a child you need to be strong for. He doesn't want to lose you."

Tricia left the kitchen and made her way up to the guest room where she spent the night. She tidied up the room, making sure it looked exactly like it had the day before, and then gathered up her belongings. Just as she was getting ready to leave a tall figure in the doorway blocked her only exit.

"Morning." Kelly's eyes swept over the room, taking note of how she made it appear like she had never even been there.

"Morning," Tricia greeted as she swallowed the large lump in her throat, and she appraised his appearance.

Kelly was standing against the doorjamb sans shirt. He had his arms crossed against his chest, causing his muscular biceps to stand out even more. There was a towel hanging off one of his shoulders and sweatpants slung low on his hips.

"Going somewhere?" Kelly asked breaking Tricia out of her trance.

Tricia gave him a weak smile but she didn't respond. She looked down at the floor as she shuffled her feet back and forth slowly. By the time she looked up at him again her expression told Kelly everything he needed to know.

He stood up straighter, grabbing the towel from his shoulders. He intended on letting her know he was going to change and then he would take her to her car but he froze as he heard her breath catch in her throat.

He looked up to find her eyes fixated just below his neck. Knowing exactly what caught her attention, Kelly absentmindedly raised his hand to touch the medal that rested there. He had become so accustomed to it being there that he often forgot about it.

Kelly lowered his hand as Tricia stepped forward and lifted the small gold St. Florian Firefighter Pendant in her small hand.

"You still wear it," she said choking back a sob that was threatening to escape.

Her eyes stayed focused on the pendant until she felt his hand encompass the wrist she had raised to his chest.

"I made you a promise," He told her, his voice filled with emotion, as he forced her to look at him.

Tricia gasped as her eyes flickered back and forth between Kelly and the medal one more time.

"You made me a lot of promises," she whispered. It seemed like the world had come to a halt as they two held each other's gaze.

A large bang could be heard throughout the house causing Tricia to jump away from him so quickly you would have thought his touch burned her.

"Damn it!" yelled Benny a few seconds later.

"I should check on him," Kelly said as he started to back out of the room. "Give me 10 minutes and I'll take you to your car."

"AAA towed it to the dealership this morning." Tricia explained. "There's a cab waiting outside…so…"

Kelly nodded as he watched her slip past him and into the hallway, turning around only for a second after she made her way to the banister.

"Goodbye Kelly," she said softly.

Kelly leaned against the wall in the hallway after watching her walk away; he let his head hit the wall with a loud thud. As much as he wanted to deny it, there was no mistaking the finality laced in her words. Nor could he deny the ache in his heart as he felt like he was losing her all over again.

* * *

Gabriella pulled her jacket tighter as she walked into Johnny's IceHouse West. It was a popular ice arena on Madison Street. They ran adult and youth hockey leagues and taught skating lessons for kids several times a week.

Gabriella stood at the glass for a moment watching as the instructor gave directions to a group of kids. The group ranged in age from 3 ½ to 10 years old; some were following the directions to a tee while others like her niece and the little girl next to her had no idea what they were doing. Despite not having a clue, both girls had huge smiles on their faces and looked like they were having a ball.

Gabriella spotted Tricia sitting in the stands and started to make her way towards her.

"So he's looking for someone new?" She overheard Tricia ask the man sitting next to her. She was listening intently but her eyes stayed glued to the ice, where her daughter and Gabriella's niece were learning how to skate.

"I asked him who he's considering. I was going to recommend you." The man who appeared to be only a few years older than Tricia told her.

"But?" Tricia appeared to be setting herself up for the disappointment that would follow his next statement.

"But," the man smirked, "you're already his first choice."

For the first time since Gabriella had spotted them, she saw Tricia turn her attention towards the man next to her. The smile that lit up her face was an exact replica of the one her daughter was wearing.

"You're kidding me?" There was a mixture of shock and excitement on Tricia's face.

"Nope. He said he called your office, but he couldn't set anything up because he's still under contract and there's a no compete clause."

"So why'd he call my office?" Tricia inquired.

"To make sure you're taking on new clients," he explained.

"I would do _anything for him_," Tricia interrupted quickly.

"I know," he laughed. "That's why I gave him your number. I didn't know if you'd want him to have your cell so I pulled your home number off K.C's registration form."

"Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!" Tricia squealed grabbing the man and hugging him while bouncing in excitement like a child.

"It's all you, I just passed along a phone number," he smiled.

At the lull in the conversation Gabriella found the perfect time to make her presence known.

"Hey," she greeted getting the attention of Tricia and the man next to her.

"Hey!" Tricia stood up to give Gabriella a hug and then moved her purse to offer the EMT the seat next to her.

"You just missed Matt and Antonio," Tricia told her.

Tricia could see Gabriella's eyes widen in surprise. The older woman was a bit shocked to hear her brother and Matt were together. She knew that they were friendly towards one another but she didn't know they were friends.

"Matt came with me to bring K.C. and we ran into Antonio as he was dropping Maria off. They were bored out of their minds after about 20 minutes so they went over to the bar for a beer." Tricia nodded her head in the direction of the Stanley Club, a Bar and Grill that was attached to the arena. It was a popular place to hang out and catch a hockey game or kill time while your kid was on the ice.

"Matt's here?" The man beside Tricia asked, which she confirmed with the nod of her head.

From the corner of her eye, Tricia noticed the curious gaze Gabriella was shooting in their direction.

"Oh my God, I'm so rude! Gabriella this is Johnny, his parent's own the arena. Johnny and Matt used to play hockey together, and I went to school with his sister," Tricia said introducing the two. "Johnny this Gabriella Dawson, she works with Matt down at the firehouse, and her niece is down there learning to skate with K.C."

Gabriella and Johnny exchanged pleasantries, before Johnny excused himself to go find his old friend.

"He seems nice," Tricia could hear the accusation in Gabriella's statement.

"He is…so is his husband," she smirked.

Gabriella closed her eyes and lowered her head in shame, "I'm sorry."

Tricia laughed and waved her hand in a dismissive motion, telling Gabriella not to worry about it.

"I've known his husband a lot longer. Harry has a design shop downtown. I hired him to design the house when we moved in." Tricia remembered how much Gabriella loved the décor of her home when she came to visit her a few weeks ago.

The two women continued to chat idly as they watched the kids out on the ice. Gabriella couldn't help but notice the excited expression that kept appearing on Tricia's face.

Tricia kept biting her bottom lip in an attempt to suppress her enthusiasm, but she failed on all accounts.

"Alright, what's going on?" Gabriella asked as she nudged the younger woman's knee.

"Ok," Tricia had given up on the pretense that nothing was going on. She turned slightly in her seat so that she could look at Gabriella. "This is the training facility for the Blackhawks."

"Yeah, I knew that," Gabriella responded not certain where Tricia was going with this.

"Johnny knows a lot of the players. This morning he found out the Patrick Kane is looking for a new agent…and he's considering me." For the first time Gabriella could see the nervousness that accompanied the anticipation the young mother was feeling.

"That's great!" Gabriella was truly happy for her. She knew how hard Tricia worked.

"Thanks, I'm a little afraid for Matt to find out though." Gabriella could hear the teasing in her tone accompanied by a light laugh. They both knew what a huge Blackhawks fan Matt was.

"Speaking of my brother," Tricia smiled. "Did you happen to hear he's back on the market?"

"What!?" Gabriella's head snapped in Tricia's direction so fast she thought she had given herself whiplash. "Are you sure?"

"Considering his stuff's been occupying my guest room for the past week, I'd say I'm pretty sure," Tricia smiled. "So…are you ready to make your move?"

"Are you serious? You just said it's been a week. And we both know this isn't the first time, they've broken up and gotten back together," Gabriella stated.

"It's different this time," Tricia admitted. She wouldn't get into why she knew it was different, but she wanted her friend to know she had a chance. "You need to seize the opportunity."

"Yeah," Gabriella chuckled at her friend's advice. "And what you?"

"What about me?" Tricia asked as she watched the instructor get ready to dismiss the class.

"A little birdy might have mentioned you ran into Severide last week," Gabriella said wiggling her eyebrows.

"Who? Shay?" Tricia guessed.

"She overheard him on the phone with his dad the other day; he may have mentioned running into you." Gabriella told her. "You gonna take your own advice…seize the opportunity?"

"The book on me and Kelly closed a long time ago," Tricia said with a dejected grin.

"There's no going back?" Gabriella pondered, trying to gage Tricia's reaction to rekindling a relationship with her old boyfriend.

"I thought I might be able to," she admitted. "But I can't."

The women were interrupted by two screaming three and half year old's who just came off the ice.

"Who wants to go for hot chocolate?" Matt asked as he and Antonio approached the group.

"Me! Me!" both of the young girls squealed in excitement.

"Come on," Matt said as he picked up his niece who had been sitting on her mother's lap in an effort to get warm.

Antonio picked up his daughter too, following Matt out to the parking lot. Gabriella took a long look at Tricia who was watching her daughter with a longing look. Gabriella nudged the younger woman, who gave her a smile before they both followed in the direction their brother's had headed off to.

* * *

Leslie was puttering around her room, picking up laundry to bring downstairs to the washing machine.

Once she had everything together and made her way into the room she realized that she didn't have enough for a full load. She could have started the machine regardless, but considering she had a roommate she thought she'd check and see if he had anything to add first.

She found Kelly beating the shit out a boxing bag in the room they had set up as a gym. She knew something was wrong the second she spotted him. He never went that hard on the bag unless he was trying to get out of his head.

"Hey," Leslie called out as she turned down the music, alerting him to her presence.

Kelly stopped his workout and nodded in her direction, before bringing a forearm to his forehead, wiping the sweat that had accumulated.

"I'm doing some laundry, you have anything you want me add?" she asked.

Kelly dropped the gloves he was wearing on the bench and gulped down a bottle of water before answering her.

"Yeah, can you wait a minute?" he asked. "I'll run up to my room and get it for you."

"I'll get it," Leslie offered, seeing that he wasn't quite done with his workout. "Just tell me where it is."

Leslie went up to Kelly's room, adding his laundry to her basket and bringing it into the laundry room. As she went about sorting through the colors a small piece of white fabric fell to the floor. When Leslie picked it up she was shocked to see exactly what it was.

She found Kelly sitting at the counter in the kitchen.

"What the hell is this?" She asked holding up the scrap of terrycloth.

"Excuse me?" Kelly couldn't make out what she was holding and had no idea what she was talking about.

Leslie took the article of clothing and laid it out on the counter so he could see it. The second Kelly saw what she was referring to, a hard expression came across his face.

"Where did you get that?" he demanded his eyes never leaving the counter.

"It was with your laundry," she told him, still waiting for an explanation.

He briefly closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

"It's none of your business Shay." He took the fabric off the counter, crumpling it in his hands, before heading to his bedroom.

"Kelly," she said in disbelief. They were best friends; they didn't hide anything from each other.

"Can't you just leave it alone?" he asked in a hard voice.

"You have a _bib _for an infant—that says 'If you think I'm cute, you should see my dad'. I can't just leave that alone," Leslie informed him.

Kelly sighed in response. Leslie could tell he wasn't going to say anything else on the subject, but she refused to let him walk away.

"Did you get someone pregnant?" Leslie visibly shuttered as a thought hit her. "Oh God! Please don't tell me it was that redhead."

"I didn't get anyone pregnant Shay…not recently." Kelly said the last part so low Leslie almost missed it.

"Not recently?" Kelly ran a hand over his face as he listened to her repeat his words. He hadn't meant to let them slip. He knew he needed to tell her something to placate her or he would never hear the end of it.

"It was a long time ago…long before I knew you." Shay noticed how his grip on the bib tightened as he spoke about it. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Leslie watched him as he started to make his way toward the stairs. She couldn't help but notice how heartbroken he was as he was reminded of something from his past. He almost seemed sad that it didn't work out. Leslie couldn't imagine Kelly being happy about the fact that he had gotten someone pregnant. Sure, he was a good man and he would be an excellent father someday, but he hadn't held a relationship with anyone long enough to even consider marriage and starting a family…except.

Leslie gasped causing Kelly to stop his movements and look back at her.

"It was Tricia." Leslie didn't need a response from her best friend; the look that appeared on his face told her everything she needed to know.


	17. Like I Do

**A/N: I know, no update last week…I suck! I had to go away unexpectedly for work and I didn't have any time to write. I apologize and I hope this update makes up for it. It will answer some of those burning questions that I keep getting :)**

**See you all next Sunday. **

…**Like I Do**

"It was Tricia." Leslie didn't need a response from her best friend; the look that appeared on his face told her everything she needed to know. "Is that why she left?"

Leslie was trying to make sense of the situation. She never would have imagined that her best friend would ever give up his child. Kelly could be rough around the edges, but she would never believe him to be capable of something like that. He hid it well, but Leslie knew Kelly was a family man at heart.

Kelly appeared to be contemplating his options; Leslie assumed he was probably trying to figure of the best way out of explaining himself. Before another question could escape her lips he had turned his back to her and began walking towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" she called after him.

Kelly continued to ignore her as he walked into his bedroom slamming the door behind him. It didn't work; a few short second later Leslie entered the room. She found Kelly lying face down on his bed, a pillow covering his head.

"We're going to talk about this Kelly," Leslie said leaving no room for him to argue with her.

Leslie could hear a muffled groan come from beneath the pillow, but other than the faint noise Kelly showed no other sign of life. Leslie walked further into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed and placing a hand in between his shoulder blades.

"You can tell me anything," she was concerned about her best friend. She had never seen him shut down like this. They told each other everything; at least she had thought they told each other everything.

Kelly groaned again as he got up, moving to the top of the bed so his back was leaning against the headboard. He raised his knees, resting his elbows on them and pinched the bridge of his nose. He sighed as he realized Leslie was going to hound him until he told her what she wanted to know.

"You can't just let this go?" Leslie could hear the defeat in his voice. Her heart broke for her best friend. She could see the internal struggle he was dealing with. All she wanted was to be able to help him, but unless he talked to her she wasn't sure how to help him.

Leslie stayed silent, she took the opportunity to study Kelly's demeanor. He didn't look like the strong, confident man she knew him to be. He looked broken, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. She knew he wasn't the type that would ever ask for help, but she refused to watch him drown.

At the same time, she couldn't help but notice the guilt coming through in his eyes. Leslie never thought Kelly would be capable of walking away from his child, but now she found herself questioning everything she thought she knew about her best friend. And that made her feel guilty, because she wanted to believe in the man she knew he was. He was making that really difficult for her to do with all of the secrets he was hiding.

As much as Leslie was questioning everything she knew about her best friend, she felt a boiling anger towards his ex-girlfriend. No matter which way she looked at, she was convinced Tricia's little girl was Kelly's daughter. There wasn't anything Leslie could think of that would justify her keeping Kelly from knowing his little girl.

"How could she…" Leslie started but was cut off.

"Stop," Kelly interrupted in a low but demanding voice. "She didn't do anything wrong."

"You can't be serious!" Leslie felt an irrational anger towards both Kelly and Tricia. She couldn't understand the power this girl held over him, nor could she understand why Kelly would continuously defend her. "She has a…"

"Shay! Stop!" Kelly pounded a fist into his pillow, letting out his current frustration. "She didn't know."

"What do you mean she didn't know?" Leslie asked in disbelief.

Kelly sighed, there was only one person he ever discussed this and now he was gone. "When she left for Boston she didn't know she was…."

Leslie didn't miss how Kelly trailed off right before saying she was pregnant. She bit her lip in an effort to keep her thoughts to herself. It didn't appear that Kelly was done talking yet, and Leslie was scared if she said the wrong thing he would get mad and shut her out again. Instead, she stayed quiet, letting him gather himself before he was able to continue.

"She didn't find out until sometime in October…she tried to tell me," Leslie watched as Kelly agonizingly allowed his head to drop into his hands.

"What do you mean she _tried?_" Leslie didn't think trying was giving it much of an effort. She believed if Tricia was having a child she should have done everything in her power to at least let Kelly know.

"I was angry she left…I wouldn't return her phone calls even though she said it was important," he revealed. "She came home sometime in October. When she went to my apartment she found Andy instead of me. He didn't believe her…and he told her as much."

"Why would Andy do that?" Leslie asked trying to make sense of the situation. She couldn't understand why his best friend would hide something as big as that from him.

Kelly sighed rubbing his hands over his face. "I told before Shay, Andy didn't _approve _of our relationship. He knew if she was pregnant, I would have moved to Boston without hesitation. He thought she was trying to trap me."

Leslie shifted so that she was sitting next to him on the bed. She placed an arm behind his back, rubbing gently. Kelly turned his head, offering her a small smile. Leslie knew that was his way of thanking her for the small amount of comfort she could offer while he relived a difficult memory.

"How'd you find out?" she asked.

"Andy met Heather…" Kelly said as if that explained everything. When he noticed Shay staring at him with raised eyebrows he expanded his answer. "For the first time since he was a kid, he cared about someone other than himself. He realized it didn't matter if he believed her or not. It only mattered if I did."

"That's why you went to see her," A knowing look came across Leslie's face as she listened to what her best friend was telling her. "…because Andy told you."

Kelly nodded in confirmation. "I was too late though,"

"What do you mean?" She didn't understand what Kelly meant when he said he was too late. It was pretty clear to her that Tricia had the baby. Even if they hated each other, Kelly could have fought her for visitation. Surely, he wouldn't give up his child so easily.

"When I told you I saw her at café in Boston…that wasn't exactly the truth." That statement grabbed Leslie's attention more than anything else he had said. She couldn't understand why Kelly would lie about seeing her when he was in Boston. "I went to her apartment, but she wasn't there. She was at the hospital…she'd had a miscarriage. I tried to see her, but her friends…I was the last person she wanted to see," Kelly croaked. "Honestly, I don't blame her."

Leslie watched as he got up from the bed, walking over to his dresser where the discarded bib lay. He grabbed the bib, holding it tightly in his hands. "I didn't just lose my baby that day…I lost Tricia too."

"Kelly, she had…" Leslie couldn't believe that for five years Tricia allowed him to believe his daughter was dead. She couldn't comprehend how cruel someone had to be to allow another person to live with this kind of pain.

"Shay…I told you what you wanted to know. Now, I never want to talk about it again."

"But Kelly…" Leslie tried her hardest to get him to listen to her.

"Shut the door on your way out." He interrupted before walking into his bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

Leslie heard the shower turn on a few minutes later. She debated waiting for him to come out of the bathroom so they could continue their conversation, but she decided against it. She knew Kelly well enough to know that he had discussed the subject as much as he was going to. If she wanted any more answers, there was only one other person she could talk to.

* * *

"Clayton," Tricia greeted as a tall man wearing jeans, a t-shirt with a leather jacket, and cowboy boots walked towards her. She rose from her seat in the waiting area, giving him a kiss on the cheek before they walked past the receptionist desk down a narrow hallway.

"I heard you were here. You here to see Wyatt?" he asked.

"Well I know you didn't think I was here to see you," She responded as she bumped his shoulder with hers. "He said he'd be in town this week."

"Yeah…he likes to stop by every once in a while, make sure we're all doin' our jobs," he joked with a smile.

"Speaking of Wyatt, you still keep that Gibson in your office?" Tricia knew without a doubt that Clayton kept the precious musical instrument in his office. It was his pride and joy, he showed it off to anyone and everyone who would listen.

"No shit," he drawled as he led her into his office. "That's what you're doin' here?"

She shrugged as they both stepped further into his office. Tricia handed Clayton a sheet of paper that he began to quickly look over as he tuned the guitar. When he looked up to ask her a question, he noticed her scanning the picture frames lining the walls of his office. He could easily point out the one she was paying particular attention to.

"He's comin' to town ya know." Clayton motioned towards the picture that held her intent gaze.

"I know, he's got a show out in Bloomington next week…he called," she revealed.

"Really?" Clayton was surprised that not only would he call her but that Tricia would actually answer the phone, especially after everything he'd heard in the past few weeks.

"He wanted to apologize for hiring Eric," she explained, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"You forgive him?" Tricia bit her lower lip, a nervous habit of hers, and shrugged a shoulder. "You were always too nice. Why'd he hire him anyway? After everything Eric's been saying about you, doesn't make sense."

"I don't' think he really wanted to, he didn't have much of a choice though…" Tricia saw the questions brewing in Claytons eyes. "Bo fell off the wagon again. Luke couldn't keep him on the tour."

"Ahhh,"

"How'd you hear about me and Eric anyway?" she questioned. She wasn't shocked that he knew, on the contrary she expected he would have heard something. It was a small community; everyone knew everything about everyone else. She was merely curious how he came about the information.

"You two weren't exactly alone..." he reminded her as he led her down the hallway to Wyatt's office. "Joe and Bobby told everyone the truth despite the bullshit Eric's been trying to sell."

"I heard all about that," she told him. She didn't want Clayton to feel the need to give her the run down. "Apparently I'll never sell another song without him."

"What crap…" Clayton scoffed. "Everyone knows you singlehandedly wrote any song you guys ever sold. Anyone with a guitar and an once of talent can string together a melody."

"Are you two going to stand out there and gossip all day or are you going to come in here?" a voice from within the office called out to them.

"Hey Wyatt," Tricia greeted him with a hug.

If you wanted to sell or produce a song in Country music Wyatt was the man to see. He was the force behind some of the biggest names in Country music. Tricia had met Wyatt several years ago. During college she spent her summers in Nashville working for him. She did everything from studio work and producing, but her biggest job with him was writing music. She lost count of the number of songs she wrote that graced the Country Billboard charts.

Wyatt took Tricia under his wing; he was the best mentor she ever could have asked for. And when she decided it was time to leave that life, he helped her get set up with CAA Sports when she told him that she wanted to leave to become a sports agent. She felt like she would be forever in his debt for everything he did for her.

They continued with their idle chit-chat for several minutes before Wyatt decided it was time to get down to business.

"Alright…what'd you got for me?" he asked as he led both of them from the chairs in front of his desk to the couch across the room.

"It's different," Tricia warned him with a nervous smile.

"Different can be good…" he answered. "Let's hear it."

Clayton set the sheet of paper Tricia had given him before on the coffee table in front of them before he started to strum the cords on his guitar. It took him a minute to find the melody, but as soon as he did Tricia began to sing softly.

_When you wake up wantin' me_

_And you can't go back to sleep_

_Change your mind_

_When you're weak and all alone_

_And you're reaching for the phone_

_Change your mind_

_Keep on going 'till you're gone_

_Even when you think it's wrong_

_When you look back in regret _

_The moment that you left_

_Change your mind_

_Baby don't come back this time_

_Don't wanna have to say goodbye, all over again_

_So if you think there's still a chance to make it right_

_And I'm the only one you want tonight_

_Change your mind _

_Change your mind_

_In the early morning haze _

_When my kiss is all you crave_

_Let it go_

_Cause I don't want to do that dance _

_The push and pull, the second change_

_I already know, yeah I know_

_You'll just promise me forever_

_And then you'll take it back, just like that_

_Saying you can't live without me_

_Then you'll…_

_Change your mind_

_So baby don't come back this time_

_Don't wanna have to say goodbye, all over again_

_So if you think there's still a chance to make it right_

_Change your mind_

_Cause I don't want to have to say goodbye, all over again_

_So if you think there's still a chance to make it right_

_And I'm the only one…the one you want tonight_

_Change your mind _

_Change your mind_

_Change your mind_

Tricia took a deep breath as she finished the last lyric, before looking up to gage Wyatt's reaction. "What'd ya think?"

Wyatt stayed quite for a minute. He appeared to be contemplating his next words very carefully. It was a reaction that although he'd never given to her, Tricia had seen before. It generally meant he didn't like what he had just heard.

"You don't like it?" Tricia stated.

"I didn't say that," Wyatt replied looking up at her. He studied her for a moment, still contemplating how to respond before settling on his words. "I do like it…and I can sell it,"

"But?" Tricia interjected.

"Tricia," he sighed leaning forward in his chair. "One of the best things about your music is that underneath the pain and the heartbreak, there's always been love and optimism. This song…it doesn't have that. It's almost like you've given up."

"Maybe I have," she told him sadly.

"I certainly hope that's not the truth."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You are far too young to be so jaded." Wyatt never had children, but he'd always hoped if he did they would be like Tricia. He'd seen the broken girl she was the first time she had been in Nashville. He respected the woman she was able to become and he wanted nothing but the best for her. "You always believed in your happily ever after. I always hoped you coming back here meant you weren't willing to give that up yet. I still hope that."

"Regardless, I'll put it on the market." He assured her. "I'll let you know when someone bites, but I'm sure it won't be long before it gets picked up. People are always chomping at the bit for your stuff."

"Thank you," Tricia said as she gathered her things and stood up getting ready to leave. "Are you still gonna be in town tomorrow? The annual Chicago Fireman's Auction's tomorrow night, I have to be my brother's date…but I'm sure I could get you a ticket," she offered.

"Thanks doll, but I'm on the red eye tonight." He said with a smile. "I'll be back in a couple weeks for Luke's tour…he send you those tickets?"

"He did," she confirmed.

"Good, I'll see you then." Tricia agreed before giving him a hug and leaving the office.

**I do not own the song that was used in this chapter. It is a song from the show Nashville on ABC, which if you can't tell is another obsession of mine and gave me inspiration for my character Tricia. If you liked the lyrics you should look up the song on iTunes it's call "Change Your Mind" it's sung by Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio. Until next time…**


	18. Some Boys

**Hello. I know it's been a long time since I updated, I am not giving up on this story so I hope you don't give up on me. That being said I just got a promotion at work that not only required me to relocate but also gives me more responsibility. Because of this, updating may be more sporadic and not on a regular timeline. I am going to try my hardest though, especially since we are starting to get to the chapters that will answer all of your questions. **

**I know some of you said you're not liking Tricia right now, I completely understand why you would feel that way. But please trust me…all will be revealed soon. Now enough from me, here's the next chapter.**

**Some Boys **

"Matt!" Tricia called from the living room for the untempt time.

"He's lookin' in the mirror," K.C. said from her place on the floor where she was playing with a couple of dolls. "He takes longer gettin' ready than you momma."

Tricia shook her head, chuckling softly. The things that came out of her daughter's mouth never seemed to amaze her. She was certainly much more observant than anyone, including Tricia at times, gave her credit for.

"Matt!" Tricia was standing at the foot of the stairs, tapping her foot in impatience. Her brother appeared a minute later hanging the upper half of his body over the railing.

"What?" She could hear the annoyance in his voice but she couldn't understand what his problem was, he was making her late. She glanced down at her watch and held an arm up. No words needed to be spoken; the exasperation was clear on her face. Matt diligently got the message.

"I'll be down in a second," Matt turned and headed back towards the bathroom, leaving his frustrated sister at the bottom of the stairs.

"Boys…" she grumbled as she pulled her phone out. She fired off a quick text to Gabriella, letting her know they were running late.

Matt and Gabriella had been quietly seeing each other for the last few weeks. Tricia was convinced that more than half the station knew about it, despite their efforts to keep their relationship under wraps. Their attempt at keeping things platonic in front of others was how she got roped into being their chaperon tonight. Matt insisted that no one would think anything of Gabriella showing up at the auction with them, but if he and Gabriella went alone they would be the do nothing but feed the incessant gossip.

Tricia wasn't sure why Matt believed this would work. It was obvious to anyone who was around the two for more than five minutes that they were head over heels for each other.

She sat with her daughter and the babysitter, who was recommended by a friend from work, while she waited until her brother was finally ready to go. She was trying to calm her nerves, but the truth was she had been on edge all day.

Tonight would be the first time she saw Kelly since the morning in his father's home and that was well over a month ago. She didn't tell anyone about what happened that night. Tricia knew exactly what they would say and she didn't want to hear it.

Once Matt joined her in the living room, Tricia kissed K.C. goodbye—telling her to be good for the babysitter, before they left to pick up Gabriella and make their way to the academy dinner and auction.

* * *

Leslie stood in the corner of the room watching Tricia, her conversation with Kelly in the forefront of her mind.

She was supposed to be having a good time with all of her co-workers, but instead she was fixated on the young woman who broke her best friend's heart. Leslie couldn't imagine how someone could be so vindictive and heartless and stand there so completely unaffected. She also felt an irrational anger towards her best friend. It was irrational because Gabriella had no reason to hate her boyfriend's sister, but seeing her standing there smiling and laughing with Tricia made Leslie's stomach turn.

"Hey," Kelly said as he approached, handing her a glass filled with clear liquid that Leslie automatically knew was tequila.

Leslie smile in response, shifting her body to block Tricia and Gabriella from his view. She was certain that he hadn't noticed them yet and she was trying to avoid it for as long as possible. Kelly had been trying to contact Tricia for a while but she dodged him at every turn. She was certain Kelly wasn't aware of her presence at the dinner. The academy dinner was an important night for all of them, and she didn't want it ruined for him by finding out she was there.

"You see the Luke Bryan tickets? How much you think Dawson's gonna throw down on those?" He smirked knowing it was one of the EMT's favorite artists.

Kelly and Leslie always joked about Gabriella's eclectic taste in music. She would listen to anything from classic rock, to pop and country. They never understood it, but it certainly made for some interesting playlists.

"I doesn't matter to me as long as she's not dragging me along with her," Leslie teased.

"I don't think you have to worry about that anymore, isn't that what Matt's for now?" Leslie could hear the teasing in his voice.

Matt and Gabriella were trying so hard to hide their relationship but everyone at the firehouse knew. They had all decided to keep their mouths shut until Matt and Gabriella decided to come out as a couple. Once they did though, all bets were off. Otis and Herrmann were chomping at the bit, waiting until they could tease the young couple.

They continued talking for a while before it was time to take their seats. Without thinking Leslie shifted a little to the left, giving Kelly the perfect view of Tricia laughing at something Gabriella was saying.

Leslie followed his eyes to the women across the room. Before she could say anything about it, she felt Kelly's hand at the small of her back leading her towards their table. As luck would have it, they were all seated at the same table, which just made the night that much more awkward.

Tricia tried to stay out of the conversation as much as possible, content just to let her brother and his friends lead the conversation. She spent most of the night checking her cell phone and speaking only when someone directly asked her a question. She knew that despite his best efforts at trying to hide it, Tricia could feel his eyes on her. She also couldn't ignore the number of times he got up to refresh his drink at the bar.

The night wore on, as did the level of Kelly's intoxication. No one other than her, Leslie, and Matt picked up on the accusation and double meaning behind most of his words, but it finally became too much for Tricia to handle. About half-way through dinner she exited the table in favor of the bar, trying to escape the bad drunk that had replaced her ex-boyfriend.

Tricia had just ordered a drink from the bartender when someone leaned against the bar net to her. She turned her head to the side coming face-to-face with Leslie. Tricia sighed softly; she was privy to the daggers that the EMT had been sending her way all night. And while she wasn't sure what she did to warrant them, she was positive that she didn't want to find out.

Ignoring the older woman's presence, Tricia turned her attention back to the bartender, silently praying to get her drink and walk away without any kind of confrontation.

"She's Kelly's?" Leslie said trying to engage the younger woman after she made it apparent she was not going to be the one to start a conversation.

"Excuse me?" Tricia was now thoroughly annoyed. If she had her way she never would have even been at the benefit, but she loved her brother and was willing to do just about anything for him. She didn't have any issue with Leslie, but the woman's actions tonight made it clear that she had a very big issue with her. Tricia didn't even want to contemplate what her problem was, especially since the last time she saw Kelly's best friend it had been at the café with Gabriella and her daughter and Leslie couldn't have been nicer.

"K.C., she's Kelly's?" Leslie leaned towards Tricia, making sure her voice was low enough so that the other people at the bar didn't overhear her.

"You sound pretty sure of yourself there Shay." Tricia was trying to make light of the accusation, but on the inside she was completely freaking out.

"That's because I am," Leslie said smugly, stepping away from her.

Tricia sighed, running a hand over her face. "You've made it quite clear tonight you don't like me, so if you're so sure you're right, why are you here? Why aren't you running to Kelly with what you _think_ you know?"

"I wanna know how you do it?" She told the younger woman.

"Do what?" Tricia questioned not having a clue as to what Leslie was trying to insinuate.

"How you live with yourself." Leslie spat with disgust.

"I get that Kelly hasn't always had the best track record with women, and he may not have been the best boyfriend," Tricia's eyebrows knit in in confusion. "But he's a good man and he'll be an amazing father, you had no right to take that away from him."

Tricia scoffs at Leslie's accusation. She pulls a five dollar bill from her clutch, dropping it into the tip bowl before picking up her drink. She takes a step back from the bar before turning to focus on Leslie, "I've entertained this conversation for far too long, and for the record I didn't _take _anything away from Kelly."

"So letting him think his daughter is dead? What's that?" Leslie stepped back a bit as Tricia whipped around and got directly in her face.

"What the hell are talking about?" she questioned her face a mixture of anger and complete misperception.

Leslie was surprised by the genuine expression on Tricia's face. For a moment, she almost believed that the younger woman really didn't know what she was referring to. But then she remembered the broken look on her best friends face when he told her of the heartbreak he suffered at the hands of the girl in front of her. It was that look which led her to believe the woman standing in front of her was no more than a lying and manipulative bitch.

"He told me all about it," When Tricia continued to stand there dumbfounded; Leslie continued to jog her memory. "The hospital…Boston…Kelly coming to visit you, that's how he found out about the miscarriage."

Tricia didn't know what to say or how to feel. Everything from hurt and anger to hope and love flashed through her mind. Ultimately though, she settled on anger, it was a feeling she'd grown accustomed to lately. "I don't know what kind of sordid story he's been telling you but make no mistake about it, I am damn lucky I didn't lose my daughter that weekend. It was by far the most difficult thing I ever went through…and Kelly was _never_ there."

Looking past Leslie, Tricia could see Kelly approaching the bar. Not wanting to continue the conversation or risk Kelly overhearing their discussion, Tricia left her untouched drink on the bar and picked up her clutch.

"Tell Matt I had to leave," she said before walking away.

* * *

Tricia paid the babysitter before locking up the house. In the cab ride home she had received a text from Matt telling her he was going to spend the night at Gabriella's, something he had been doing a lot lately. If she was being honest she was happy to be alone. Her conversation with Leslie was replaying on a loop in her head. There was something about the entire altercation that left her unsettled.

She wasn't lying when she told Leslie Kelly had never been at the hospital. She was there for three days and she'd never so much as gotten a phone call from him. No nurse or doctor ever mentioned him being there, even though one of her nurses kept assuring her that as soon as he found out—no matter what had happened between them—if he was a good man, he would be there for her. She had clung to the hope that the nurse had been right, but Kelly never showed.

But still there was something Leslie said that Tricia just couldn't shake. She told her Kelly thought she had a miscarriage. Initially that's why she had been admitted to the hospital, her doctors believed she was in the early stages of a miscarriage, caused in large part by her not taking care of herself properly. She was completely distraught at the thought of losing her daughter, it was then that Tricia knew she needed to somehow mask the heartache of losing Kelly. She had a child that needed her and she was determined to do the best she could for her.

The hospital stay had terrified Tricia and once she and her daughter were out of the woods, Tricia did everything her doctors told her to in order to insure her daughter was born happy and healthy.

The unsettling part was that Tricia never told anyone about her time in the hospital. At the time, her parents and Matt hadn't even known she was pregnant, and when they found out about K.C. she found it unnecessary to bring it up. It was all in the past, everything had worked out for the best and at that point she had just wanted to forget about it.

The only people that knew about her hospitalization were the medical staff at the hospital and a handful of friends from Boston.

Although she didn't know Leslie well, Tricia knew she wasn't the type of girl to just throw out unfounded accusations. Leslie thoroughly believed she was defending her best friend, a quality Tricia would typically admire.

There was only one person Leslie would have gotten her information. Tricia placed her clutch and jewelry on her dresser as she walked into her closet to change out of her clothes. As she reached up to grab her pajama's the black and white paper maché box she placed on the top shelf when she moved in came tumbling down.

Tricia bent down collecting the scattered items to place back in the box when a picture caught her attention. She put the picture aside as she closed up the box and put it back in its place.

Taking a seat on the edge of her bed, Tricia stared at the picture in her hand. It was the first sonogram she'd had when she was pregnant. Looking at the first photo of her daughter increased the questions gnawing at her.

"How did he know," she whispered to herself as she set the photo down on the night stand next to her bed.

**Again I apologize for the delay in updating this story. I am not going to give up on it, so I hope you all stay with me.**


	19. It Won't Be Like This for Long

**It Won't Be Like This for Long**

**I owe a big thank you to everyone who is still interested in this story! I am going to try and update as often as possible. I know a lot of you are dying for Kelly to find out the truth, this chapter is dedicated to you, so get to reading.**

Tricia hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in three days. Her mind was constantly going a mile a minute with questions she didn't have the answers to.

She hadn't seen or spoken to Kelly since the firehouse's dinner several nights prior. Tricia had come to the conclusion that Leslie hadn't mentioned their conversation to her friend and roommate. Tricia was positive Kelly would be banging down her door if she had, just another worry that was keeping her up at night.

Her anxiety also came from the fact that she couldn't escape the tone of Leslie's voice as she accused her of letting Kelly believe their child had died. Tricia had no idea where she had come up with that theory, but it was clear the paramedic truly believed what she was saying.

There was a small part of Tricia that always wanted to believe Kelly wasn't capable of just walking away from her and their child. Her own mother had reminded her of that a few months ago.

_Flashback _

_"Oh honey," she murmured bringing her hand up to stoke her daughter's hair. "I get why you don't share certain things with your brother. And I support and will continue to support it because I worry enough about him when he's at work. But one day K.C. is going to want answers, and you owe it to her—and to__yourself—__to have an honest and meaningful conversation with Kelly."_

_"Ma, when K.C.'s old enough for the truth I'll give it to her….her father__didn't want her__," Tricia sighed. "Unless he can suddenly go back in time, how's talking to Kelly going to change that?"_

_"If you believed that, you'd be able to say his name and K.C's father in the same sentence. But you don't," Mrs. Casey informed her. "You want to believe in him. You want there to be a plausible reason or excuse for what he did, if you didn't you wouldn't have built him up the way you have. You wouldn't try__so__hard to hate him, and you certainly never would have told your daughter her father's like a superhero."_

_End Flashback_

Her mother was right; she did want to believe in Kelly. She did want there to be a plausible reason for everything that went wrong between them, and her talk with Leslie ignited that hope ten-fold. Kelly had obviously told Leslie that he had been in Boston. Even though Tricia never saw him, she was now more than determined to find out what he was doing there and why he was under the impression that she had a miscarriage.

* * *

It was eerily quiet as Tricia walked into the fire house. There were a few people mulling about, but no one she recognized. She noticed a petite middle aged woman sitting at a desk outside of Chief Boden's office.

"Can I help you?" The woman spoke with a soft voice as she looked up from a large stack of paperwork.

"Hi…I'm looking for Kelly Severide, is he here?" Tricia asked politely as she adjusted her handbag on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry honey; they went out on a call a little while ago. You can wait around until they come back if you want, but I can never tell how long they're going to be." She sounded apologetic as she picked up a pair of reading glasses and put them on, obviously needing them to go over the paperwork.

"I understand; I'll try and catch him another time," Tricia responded before turning to leave. "Thanks."

As Tricia made her way out of the firehouse, she saw truck 81 pulling into the garage. Matt noticed her as he jumped out of the front seat of the truck, shedding his helmet and jacket as he approached her.

"This is a nice surprise," He said giving her a kiss on the cheek, careful not to touch her clothes, so he didn't ruin them with soot he was covered in from the call.

"Hey," she greeted, her nose wrinkling at the smell of smoke and ash that surrounded him.

"You look like hell," Matt commented as he looked her over. His sister was not put together perfectly like he was used to seeing. Instead, her hair was pulled into a messy bun at the nape of her neck, with strands falling out and framing her face. She was still in what appeared to be her workout clothes, and had bags around her eyes like she hadn't slept in days.

"Thanks," she snorted obviously not thrilled with her brother's assessment of how she looked.

Matt rolled his eyes at Tricia's sarcastic response. "What brings you by?"

"Umm…actually…I…" She stuttered not sure how to explain her visit Matt.

"What's going on with you?" He walked over to the equipment room to drop off his gear as Tricia followed behind him slowly. "Why are you acting all nervous?"

"I…I came to see Kelly." She leaned against the door as she watched Matt put his stuff away with careful eyes.

Matt paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before returning his attention to his baby sister. He gave her a hard stare, his eyes telling her everything she needed to know. He did not think this was a good idea. She couldn't figure out whether he meant in general or at the fire house but she had a feeling it was a mixture of both.

"Hey Casey! What the hell was…" Kelly boomed walking into the equipment room shedding his gear. He trailed off as soon as he realized he was interrupting a conversation between the siblings.

Kelly noticed how quiet the two of them got as soon as he entered. Matt looked back and forth between the two of them with a stony look before wordlessly exiting the room, leaving them alone.

"You have a minute?" Tricia asked breaking the silence after a few minutes.

Kelly finished hanging up his equipment before answering her. "Yeah, Give me a minute to clean up?"

Tricia nods her confirmation as they exit the equipment room, going back into the garage.

"Alright, I'll meet you in the kitchen." Kelly keeps his hands in his pockets as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

Tricia, however, is hesitant to agree, her eyes shift to the group of firefighters standing off to the side watching them carefully. Kelly follows her gaze over to where Capp and Hadley, along with a few other guys are scrutinizing their every move.

"Why don't you go wait in my office, I'm gonna grab a shower and change but I won't be long." He offers.

"M'kay," Tricia agrees before following the directions he gives her.

Kelly watches her as she walks away before hurrying into the locker to quickly shower and grab a change of clothes.

Ten minutes later a freshly showered Kelly is leaning against the closed door of his office, "What brings you by?"

"I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest. No questions, just a yes or no—can you do that?" She knows she really has not right to ask this of him, but she is thankful when he agrees all the same.

"Did you ever come to see me in Boston?" She swallows hard as she waits for his answer.

Kelly's frowns at her line of questioning but answers all the same, "Yes."

Even thought she was expecting that answer, Tricia still can't help but feel like the wind had just been knocked out of her. She took a step back to steady herself, sinking onto the twin bed as her knees hit the edge of it.

"When?" She whispered almost disbelievingly. It was as if she was afraid he was going to suddenly change his answer.

Kelly her carefully for a moment not understanding her reaction. As far as he was concerned she knew about the visit, after all she was the one who turned him away. "Right after Thanksgiving, it took him awhile but Andy finally told me."

He let the words hang in the air between them like a heavy cloud that was about to cause a huge rain storm. Tricia said nothing as she stared out into space—to Kelly it didn't appear that she was focusing on one thing in particular—but the silver frame tucked into a corner on his desk had caught her attention. It was a double frame that held two photos of them. In the first one he was looking at the camera as she leaned up, kissing his cheek. The second picture was of her laughing at something, her head thrown back her long brunette waves framing her face while Kelly's undivided attention was on her. Her heart ached as she realized even after all these years he'd kept a place for her in his life. But the longer the silence wore on the more agitated Kelly became.

"Come on Tee, you knew I was there—you didn't want to see me." He said throwing his hands up.

Tricia head snapped up at his words. "Kelly I never…"

Before Tricia could finish her sentence blaring alarms rang throughout the firehouse. "Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Squad 3….."

"Damn it," Kelly muttered stressed at the interruption. "Do you have time to hang out? I don't know how long I'll be but…"

"I can wait," she assured him.

Kelly thanks her before rushing out of his office to get his gear and go out on the call.

Tricia occupied herself by pacing back and forth and constantly checking her phone. She'd been waiting for over two and half hours when a phone call from her boss had her scribbling a note for Kelly gathering her belongings and then rushing out of the firehouse.

* * *

In the days since Tricia's departure, Kelly threw himself into his work. Although he wasn't mad at Tricia for leaving, the call that interrupted them had been a warehouse fire that had taken more than four hours to get under control. He didn't expect her to wait around for four hours, but he couldn't help the slight disappointment he felt when he came back to the station and saw she wasn't there. He had gotten her note, and he understood she needed to leave for an unexpected business trip but it still annoyed him to no end that they couldn't seem to get through an entire conversation without some kind of interruption.

On top of that he wasn't sure what was going on with Leslie lately. She had been acting weird ever since he found her at the tail end of an intense conversation with his ex-girlfriend. No matter how much prodding he attempted, Leslie would not tell him what they were talking about or what had her acting so weird.

The booming of alarms had Kelly leaving thoughts of his personal life behind, as he gathers his gear in a hurry and hopped in the fire truck.

"What do we have?" Kelly asked approaching Boden once he arrived on scene.

"Drunk driver, he jumped the guardrail slammed into the SUV. Driver's already been taken to lakeshore, woman and child are stuck in the car." Boden grimaced as he gave Kelly a rundown of the situation.

Kelly nodded yelling to Capp to grab the jaws and approached the vehicle. Mills and Herrmann were already doing the preliminary search of the cars, making sure there weren't any gas leaks that could make the scene more unstable and dangerous. He stopped several feet from the driver's door, his heart sinking in his chest as he saw the face of the woman behind the wheel.

"Chief," he called to Boden, not moving from his position. Kelly waited until Boden was close enough to him without the possibility of anyone else overhearing. "You're gonna want to keep Casey away from here."

It was no secret in the firehouse that Kelly and Matt often didn't see eye-to-eye but neither of them had ever let that cloud their judgment in the field. "Why?"

"That's his mom," Boden's expression tells Kelly everything he needs to know, get her out of the car and he'll handle Matt.

With the nod of his head Kelly springs into action, taking the jaws from Capp and getting to work on prying the driver's side door open. Meanwhile, Hadley is working on getting the back door open to allow Leslie and Shay to get to the little girl in the back seat.

"Hold on Mrs. Casey, we're gonna get you out of here," Her response is incoherent, so Kelly doesn't give it much thought, he is focused on getting her out of the car. In the background he can hear Matt yelling. From his peripheral vision he can see Boden, Mouch, and Herrmann holding him back.

Once Kelly and Capp extract the driver's door, Gabriella is there to put a neck collar on her and assess her injuries. After she is stabilized, Capp and Kelly help Gabriella load her onto a stretcher as paramedic's from the second ambulance take over and load her into the back of the truck.

"Stay with her," Mrs. Casey told her son as he held her hand tightly in his.

"I'm not leaving you," Matt insisted.

"K.C. needs you more," She knew she was tugging on the strings of her son's heart by mentioning his niece. But Mrs. Casey wanted him to stay with her grandchild and not have him worry about her. If she could, she would be beside K.C. the entire time.

"Kelly," Boden barked as her listened to the lieutenant and his mother go back and forth.

"Kelly will go with your mom," Boden told both men. "She won't be alone Matt."

"I'll stay with her the whole time," Kelly clapped Matt on the back as he climbed into the back of the ambulance, closing the door behind him.

Matt stood behind the ambulance as he watched it drive away. He was worried about his mother but his focus shifts as he hears Gabriella and Leslie behind him.

"We have a head laceration, left side, bleeding steadily. Pulse is weak," one of them said into the radio as they put K.C. onto the stretcher and into the ambulance.

* * *

Kelly was waiting for them as they entered the ER. Gabriella and Leslie met with the doctors to fill them in on the child's condition. It was the first time since they had been called to the accident that Kelly realized there was a child in the car. He vaguely remembered Boden mentioning a little girl, but once he had seen Mrs. Casey in the driver's seat his adrenaline kicked in and he blocked out everything else but getting her out of the car and to the hospital safely.

As the doctor's wheeled the little girl away, Matt asked Kelly how his mom was doing. "She's in surgery. She has some minor abrasions from the airbag, and she'll be bruised but they ruled out internal bleeding. The main concern was her leg; she fractured her tibia in three places, that's why they took her into surgery."

Gabriella put her arm around Matt in a comforting gesture as she led him over to the waiting area. Matt couldn't stop fidgeting, his leg bouncing up and down as he waited for news about his mother or niece. Kelly and Leslie sat across from them and were soon joined by the other guys from the station.

After what seemed like forever Hallie approached the group, "Matt," she said softly.

His head snapped up at the sound of her voice and he was on his feet and in front of in seconds.

"How is she?" His distress abundantly clear in his voice and appearance.

Hallie glanced towards the waiting room full of firefighters before motioning for him to follow her around the corner, attempting to tell him the news in privacy.

"How is she?" he asked again impatiently.

Hallie sighed, obviously uncomfortable about having to give him the news. "She's stable, for now."

"For now?" She didn't miss the tremor in his voice as her repeated her words.

Hallie closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. "She needed 19 stitches to close the gash on her head. The impact of the crash cause a depressed skull fracture, right now there's too much swelling to determine whether or not she'll need surgery. And their worried the fracture may have caused Epidural Hematoma—a blood clot underneath the skull. Right now they're keeping her comfortable and watching her closely. But thing with her condition can change quickly, and if she needs surgery there's not going to be any time to waste."

"What aren't you telling me?" He asked knowing she was withholding something.

"Matt," she sighed sympathetically. "Tricia needs to get here as soon as she can."

"I can't reach her; she's on a plane on her way home from Buffalo right now. She doesn't even know about this," his voice breaking as he thought about how his sister would take the news. "I'll sign everything…consent to the surgery."

"I'm sorry Matt, but its hospital policy. We can't perform a non-life threatening surgery without the consent of a parent or legal guardian," Hallie explained.

"This is bullshit!" Matt yelled in frustration, catching the attention of everyone in the waiting room. "You just told me it could be life threatening."

"It _could _be, but right it isn't, the sooner we get her into surgery the better chance she has," Hallie told him. She understood his frustration but she could be fired for breaking hospital policy.

"So what do I do? Wait—and hope that by the time my sister gets here my niece's condition hasn't worsened to the point of her possibly not surviving!" Matt yelled. For the first time it was registering with Kelly that the child involved in the accident was Tricia's. He was completely conflicted, not sure how to handle the information.

Hallie didn't respond to him. She knew nothing she said at this point would calm him down or comfort him.

"What about her father, can't he consent?" Herrmann asked trying to offer a solution to the situation.

"He could," Hallie answered curtly, but not expanding. She remembered how secretive Matt was about his niece. It was probably the first time most of the people he worked with were even finding out about her.

"If we knew where he was, but we don't," Matt answered sonically.

"I'm sorry Matt," Hallie offered lightly touching his arm. "Page me as soon as you can get in touch with Tricia."

Matt's head fell into his hands; he had to lean against the wall for support as Hallie started to walk away. He was at his wits end; thinking about his tiny niece laying in a hospital bed and not being able to do anything for her was tearing him up inside.

"Hallie wait!" Leslie called after her. She couldn't sit and watch Matt fall apart anymore, not when there was something she could do to help save a little girl's life. "Her father can consent to the surgery."

"Shay we don't," Matt tried to explain again but she cut him off.

"Kelly," she said softly turning to her best friend.

Kelly felt all eyes in the waiting room suddenly on him. He stared at his best friend, his eyes never leaving hers as his expression changed from questioning to understanding to heartbroken in a matter of seconds. He swallowed hard before focusing solely on Hallie.

"I'm her father," he stated ignoring the shocked expressions from his co-workers. "I'll consent to whatever you need…just…make sure she's okay."

Hallie looked from Matt to Kelly before nodding her head. "I'll go get the paperwork."

**Don't hate me for the cliff hanger! The chapter was getting a too long and I had to cut it off somewhere, this seemed like the most logical place to stop. I'm really hoping to have the next update up by April 7****th****, but it will all depend on my work schedule in the coming weeks. Thanks for sticking with me, until next time ;) **


	20. Baggage Claim

**Okay, so here is the second part of the cliff hanger I left you with, it's not very long but it gives you a deeper insight into one of the characters. I changed the format of this chapter, instead of being written in third person, it's written in one of the character's point of view. I found it easier to write about the emotions this way. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue the rest of the story this way or go back to the other format, but I would love to hear your opinions and which way you would like to see the story continued in. Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and support it's very much appreciated!**

* * *

**Chapter 20: Baggage Claim **

* * *

**Kelly POV**

After signing the forms Hallie gave me, I had to get away from all of the whispers and prying eyeing of my well-meaning but extremely nosey co-workers. There wasn't anyone I could talk to; even my best friend had betrayed me. It was all too much to handle at the moment, I have a daughter—one I could very well lose before I have the opportunity to know.

_How did my life come to this?_ I thought as to an empty hall way after wandering around aimlessly. My head dropped into my hands as I slid down the wall at a complete loss as to what I was supposed to do now. Matt didn't say anything after I came forward, admitting his niece is my daughter, but if looks could kill I would be six feet under. I'm sure if Gabriella hadn't been there to keep him calm he would have been ready to let me have it.

And then there was Tricia, I couldn't even think about how fucked up everything with her had become. As angry as I want to be at her for not telling me about our daughter, I can't help but think about the look on her face the other day when she asked me if I had come to visit her in Boston. All these years I was under the impression she had turned me away. The the pain of everything that happened between us—the pain of losing our child—was too much for her to handle. It was something that as much as I had tried, I just couldn't hate her for.

But what was I supposed to do with that now? Why had she continued to keep it from me for the past five years? Is that why she had come to the firehouse the other day, drudging up all of our past issues? Had she really never known I was in Boston? Was that what she was going to tell me before we were interrupted?

These were the questions that plagued me. Questions I couldn't get the answers to right now, not when Tricia was 20,000 feet in the air blissfully unaware of the horror that awaited her as soon as she landed.

"Kelly," Hallie interrupted my thoughts as she quickly came down the hallway.

I lifted my head, acknowledging her presence but not verbally responding. The next words out of her mouth made my heart sink further into my chest.

"Their prepping her for surgery now, I thought you may want to see her before they take her in."

I gave her a soft, grateful smile. "Thanks but I don't want to step on any toes."

"Matt and his Dad already left," she said understanding my concern.

"Where's her room?"

My heart broke as I walked into my daughter's hospital room. No parent should ever have to see their child lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to numerous machines.

As I walked closer to the bed, tears sprang to my eyes as I focused on the face surrounded by a mess of brown curls. I knew this little girl; she was the same little girl from the fire house a few months ago, the one who tugged at my heart—the one who reminded me so much of her mother. Even if I hadn't been consciously aware of the connection at the time, I think on some unconscious level I knew.

Sitting down in the chair beside her bed, I took one of her small hands in my own.

"You're so beautiful," I softly running a hand over her forehand, pushing back some of her curls, my thumb brushing over the stiches just below her hair line.

It was surreal how much love I felt for her. I hadn't known she mine for a long time, but nothing could change the fact that I would switch places with her in a heartbeat if it meant she would be okay.

"I guess I should tell you I'm your Dad." I told her fighting back tears. "When you get out of here, I promise that I'm gonna make up for all the time I haven't spent with you. But you need to get out of here first. I need you fight baby—I need you to be okay, and not just me but for your mom too. If I know anything about her, I'm willing to bet you're her whole world."

I continued to stroke her hair, trying to offer her some kind of comfort, although if I was being honest it was more for my comfort then it was for hers.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting with her before the doctors came in, but nothing could have prepared me for what it felt like as I watched my daughter wheeled out of the room and down the hall.

I looked up at the ceiling, silently offering a prayer. I can't say I'm a very religious man. I only make it to church about twice a year, typically on Christmas and Easter. But you can't be in my line of work without believing in some kind of higher power. I had seen too many small miracles to not believe in something, even if I wasn't quite sure what exactly it was.

And if prayer doesn't work, maybe pleading with one of the most important women in my life would. "I need you to take care of her mom…make sure she comes back to me."

I sank into a chair by the door, settling in to wait while my daughter was in surgery.

"Kelly," I heard a soft voice say from beside me.

Turning my head I came face-to-face with my best friend. As much as I love her, she was the last person I wanted to deal with right now. I have no doubt we will eventually get past this, but right this second it's the last thing I want to hash out at the moment.

"I'm sorry," Leslie apologized placing a hand on my shoulder.

I brushed off her hand as I stood up, "How long have you known Shay?"

"I've known K.C. was Tricia's for a while," she revealed. "But I didn't know she was yours….not until the other night at the benefit."

"And you think to tell me?" I asked, hurt she would keep this kind of information from me.

"I didn't know what to think Kelly!"

"When you told me about the miscarriage, I tried to tell you she had a kid but you didn't want to hear it." Shay walked over to the bed, picking up the small stuffed bear that lay by the pillows. "And the other night, I confronted her. I was so angry with her when she admitted K.C. was yours. I couldn't believe she would keep that from you. When I told her that—told her how wrong I thought she was to keep you away from your child, she said you were never there …she looked so broken Kelly."

"I should have told you," Leslie said looking at me for the first time.

"Yeah, you should have."

"Kelly,"

"I can't do this right now Shay," I told her honestly. "My daughter is in surgery and I need to focus on her right now. I just…I can't do this."

I walked out of the room not sure where I was headed. I needed some fresh air, something—anything to get mind off of everything that was happening. As a rounded the corner, making my way to the elevators, I saw an obviously hysterical woman badgering the nurse behind the desk.

"_My husband…_That's not possible I'm not married." She brought her hands up to her temples, rubbing them while she tried to make sense of things.

"Please," she begged desperately "just tell me where my daughter is."

"Ms. Casey, I have already told you, your daughter was taken into surgery about 45 minutes ago," the elderly woman told her. She was obviously felt sympathy for the younger woman, but at the same time it was clear she was trying to calm her down. It was clear nothing was going to calm Tricia down until she was able to see her daughter with her own two eyes.

"Here take a look at the paperwork yourself," the nurse offered in a last ditch attempt to pacify her for the moment. She placed a chart in front of Tricia pointing towards the bottom of it. She gasped as she no doubt recognized the scrawl at the bottom of the page as my signature. Her hand slammed down on the desk as she gathered herself, swallowing hard before choking out a thank you and turning to leave.

She hadn't taken more than a few steps before her eyes fell in line with mine. She stood frozen in place as I slowly walked towards her.

"Please, don't be mad," I was trying to gauge her reaction. I couldn't tell how she was going to take this and the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight with her while our daughter was fighting for her life. What I did not expect however, was for her to throw herself into my arms.

I stumbled a little, using the wall behind me to steady myself as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Thank you," she choked out through tears before burying her head into my shoulder.

"Hey," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her as she collapsed into my arms.

"She has to be okay," Tricia muttered in between her tears as I lead her into a quiet waiting area. Thankfully Tricia had been sent to the floor K.C.'s room was on and not the ER where everyone from the firehouse was no doubt still waiting for updates on the condition of the members of Matt's family.

She continued to cling to me as we sat down in a small cluster of chairs in the corner. I wasn't sure if it was me, or just having someone there in general that she seemed to be grateful for but if I was being honest with myself I found her presence strangely comforting as well. We have a long road ahead of us, one that is most definitely not going to be filled with sunshine and rainbows, but for now we have to let that go and focus on our daughter.

"She has to be ok," Tricia whispered into my shoulder shortly after her sobs had subsided.

"I can't lose her Kelly….I can't lose her," she said as the damn broke and a fresh stream of tears flowed down her face.

"We're not going to lose her," I whisper, pulling her into my arms, once again looking up and promising God anything I could think as long as he brought my baby girl back to me.

* * *

**Until next time….also, don't forget to let me know what you like better. Telling the story from the character's point of view or a narrator? Remember the next update probably won't be until sometime around April 7****th :)**


	21. Stronger Than Me

**Here's the next chapter. I am so so so sorry for the long delay! I had every intention of having this up much earlier but life has a funny way of interrupting our plans. I would also like to express my condolences to anyone who was affected by the tragedy that took place at the Boston Marathon last month. I absolutely LOVE the city of Boston; it holds a special place in my heart, which is why I included it in this story. I was heartbroken to hear about the tragic events that took place. But it is a strong and resilient city and I know they will come out of this stronger than ever!**

**Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and support it's very much appreciated! **

**No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Stronger Than Me**

* * *

**Tricia POV**

I wiped my eyes as I sat in the chair beside my mother's bed.

"Hey," I whispered grasping her hand. I knew she was awake; I had just left my dad who gave me an update on her condition. It was going to take a lot of rehab after her leg came out of the cast, but she would make a full recovery.

"Hi baby," my mom replied hoarsely. "How's K.C."

My eyes instantly watered at the mention of my daughter's name. Just thinking about my sweet baby girl being in surgery was enough to make me breakdown. Nothing would be ok until I found out she was going to be alright. There wasn't any other option, she needs to come out of this because if she doesn't I don't know how I will ever survive. But I tried to put on a brave face for my mom; she needed to take care of herself now, not worry about me.

"I'm sorry," I heard my mom whisper.

"Oh mom….the accident wasn't your fault. The guy was drunk…he jumped the guardrail, there's no way you could have seen him coming."

"Not for that," she said grasping my hand tighter. I was now thoroughly confused; I had no idea what she was talking about.

"For telling Kelly,"

Seeing the look on my mother's face nearly shattered my heart all over again. I have done a lot of things in my life that I wish I could take back. I've been stupid and selfish. There have been too many times that I put what I wanted before my family, too many secrets that I've forced my mother to keep over the years. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to my father or my brother. But most of all it wasn't fair to Kelly or our daughter.

I gave my mom a forced smile as a gently rubbed her forearm, "You didn't,"

"But your father said he signed the paperwork," She turned slightly in the bed so we were face-to-face. I could see the concern and guilt in her eyes. It was absolutely the last thing I wanted my mom to be thinking about at the moment. "He was getting me out of the car but all I could think about was K.C., I _told him_."

"Mom," I replied softly trying to calm her down. "If you did tell him, he didn't hear you. He was probably so focused on getting you out that he wasn't paying attention to anything else. Actually, he didn't even know K.C. was in the car until Matt showed up at the hospital with her. And when they found out she needed surgery, his roommate knew…..she told him."

"It doesn't matter anyway," The conversation was getting too heavy to be having right now. This was not what my mom needed to be focusing on at the moment. "He knows…I don't know what's gonna happen, but before we can even think about that we need K.C. to get through this."

Before my mom could respond, my dad came back into the room. I could tell he wanted her to continue to rest, and I was anxious to get an update on my daughter. I gave them each a kiss, promising to keep them informed on K.C.'s condition.

It had been an emotionally draining few hours and running into my brother outside of our mom's hospital room wasn't helping. He'd already made his feeling known about the situation. I think the entire hospital knew how he felt about what was going on, especially after he went after Kelly in the waiting room earlier. Had I not walked in when I did, the vacant beds in my mom and K.C.'s rooms would have been filled.

He was hurt, I could see it in his eyes; not that I blamed him, I'd hurt a lot of people. I didn't think our relationship would ever be as bad as it was after I left Chicago and effetely cut off my family. This seemed worse, I'm not sure how we'll recover from this; but Matt isn't the first person I have to make things right with.

He stopped in front of me, his jaw set in a grim hard line. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but says nothing.

"Not now Matt. Please _not now._" I have absolutely no right to act like such a bitch to him, but I can't handle any of this until I know my little girl is out of the woods. "You can blame me, you hate me all you want, but please just let me know my daughter is going to be ok first."

He didn't say anything, just gave me a terse nod as he walked past me, straight into our mom's room.

I didn't expect his silence to hurt so much, but it did. It literally feels like everything is crumbling around me, and I have no idea how to fix it.

Leaning against the wall for support, I try to compose myself. It's a futile attempt; I soon find myself sitting on the floor with my head in my heads. I'm not sure how long I'm there before

I don't even need to look up, I know who it is. Even after all these years the close proximity of him still ignites a spark that makes my entire body buzz when he's around.

Kelly was kneeling in front of me, looking at me with pleading eyes. I knew what he wanted, but I was terrified to give it to him; terrified to go _there_. Instead I tried to think of any excuse I could to put if off for a little while longer. He knew me too well though; he knew exactly what I would use to avoid the situation and he shut it down before I could even get the words out of my mouth.

"She's still in surgery," he grimaced. It had already been well over four hours and each minute of not knowing was slowing killing both of us. "Hallie knows where we're gonna be, she said she'd come find us as soon as anything changes."

"Come on," he held out his hand, beckoning me to take it. After a moment of hesitation I place my hand in his, letting him take me wherever it is he wants to go.

No words were exchanged as we entered the hospital chapel. This was not where I expected him to take me, but at the same time I'm glad he did.

We're the only ones in the small dark room; he leads me over to the altar of votive candles. I watch as he grabs two wooden sticks, using an already lit candle to light the ends of each stick. When he is finished he turns and hands me one. I offer him a small smile as I accept it, stepping forward to light one of my own before kneeling down offering up a silent prayer.

I feel the cushion on the kneeler dip as Kelly takes his place beside me. When I'm finished, I move to a pew giving Kelly a few minutes alone to finish his thoughts.

"Seem familiar?"

"All the times I pictured having to sit here, I never thought it would be because our child was fighting for her life."

I could feel his eyes on me, but he didn't comment.

"Why'd you come to the firehouse?" He broke the silence several minutes later. Kelly's hands were clasped together, elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward. I'm pretty sure he knew why I went there, but he needed me to confirm it.

"The other night…Shay hit a nerve," that certainly got his attention. His head snapped in my direction and I could see the curiosity in his eyes.

"She told me you were in Boston…you came to see me in the hospital…"

"I did," he whispered as if he still had to convince me.

"I know that now," I told him with a soft smile. "But I didn't know it than. It's kind of ironic actually…you were the _only_ person I wanted there, and I didn't know you were."

"No wonder you hate me," he responded looking ashamed of him-self, something I couldn't quite comprehend.

"I don't hate you Kelly," I assured him. Even though it was the truth I still felt like he needed to know there was a time when I thought I did. He'd hurt me, and even though I was able to come to term with it, there was still a part of me that wanted to know why he'd done it. "I wanted to…I tried to, but I could never hate you and you have no idea how much I hated _myself_ for that."

* * *

**Kelly POV **

Her voice cracked as the words left her lips. She was trying to hold back her emotions, but I could see the tears shinning in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Before last week, I thought you didn't want us…for god sakes Kelly you told me to get rid of her! What was I supposed to think?"

"I _never _told you that," I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I could see that Tricia believed what she was saying whole heartedly; she'd never been a liar, I could always see right through her.

Tricia narrows her eyes and scoffs, a sure sign that she's getting pissed off. She shakes her head in disbelief. "Are you serious? Why would I make that up?"

That was something I don't have a response to. I don't know why she would make it up. But I sure as hell never told her to get rid of our child. I can't tell her that though because it will accomplish nothing right now other than fueling her anger. Before I can come up with something to calm her down, she continued.

"I was _devastated_…I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I stopped talking to my parents because I was petrified they would mention you and I couldn't handle that. Why do you think I didn't come home for Thanksgiving? I could barely leave my apartment…_that's _what put me in the hospital."

Each word out of those sweet lips broke my heart a little more. I was trying to make sense of everything when something she said struck me. "Thanksgiving?"

Tricia's head snapped in my direction, exasperation written all over her face because she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Trish, I didn't even know about the pregnancy until Thanksgiving…Andy told me about it Thursday night and I was on a plane Friday morning."

"No…No, Andy told me he talked to you before that. You left me a message before Thanksgiving, you said it didn't matter to you and I should get rid of it...tell me you never said that Kelly."

She's pleading with me to tell her I'd never left that message; I can't do that.

Before I can explain any further, Hallie interrupts us. K.C. is finally out of surgery and is settled in her room. Tricia was up and out of the chapel before Hallie could even finish her sentence, I was right behind her.

When I walked into the room Tricia was sitting beside our daughter, who was sleeping peacefully. Her thumb was softly tracing the six inch line of stiches just above her hair line. I'd spoken to Hallie on the way up to the room; the next 24 hours were going to be critical but as long as there weren't any complications from the surgery, the doctors were expecting K.C. to make a full recovery.

I sat down on the small hospital bed, opposite of Tricia. It was the first time I'd ever seen mother and daughter together; it was overwhelming seeing the love and devotion Tricia had for our little girl. It was something I knew Tricia had felt from the moment she found out about her. It was those emotions that made my message so devastating to her.

"I did leave you that message." I admitted, looking at her from across the bed. She closed her eyes as a pained looked came across her face.

"Andy told me you were calling because you wanted to know what to do with the stuff you took of mine when we thought I was gonna move to Boston. That's what I was telling you to get rid of, not our baby."

Tricia didn't know how to respond. I think she wanted to believe me but she was terrified of getting burned again.

"There was never a time I didn't want you…both of you," Tricia still refused to make eye contact with me, her attention stayed on K.C. the entire time.

Now was not the time to try to discuss our relationship but I felt it was important for Tricia to know I intended to be there for them from now on. "I want to know her Tee…I want to be there for her…as her dad."

Tricia nodded her head, pushing some hair away from K.C.'s face. "Good," she whispered softly, "she needs her dad."

"And what do you need?"

"Right now," she answered looking at me for the first time since we entered the room. "I need to see those beautiful brown eyes. I don't care what the doctors say, I need to see her awake for myself….she comes first Kelly."

"I know," I understood what she was saying, we would deal with everything I told her eventually, but for now she was putting it on the back burner. She was putting our daughter first, as much as I wanted to talk about how we got to this point I knew she was right—K.C. had to come first.


	22. Ho Hey

**So here is the next long overdue chapter. We are back to the third person point-of-view. I have decided I like this better than trying to write from a characters perspective, so I'm going to stick with this for the remainder of the story. I can't say for sure when the next update will be. Work has been a bitch lately, but I'm already working on it and will post it as soon as it's ready.**

**Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and support it's very much appreciated!**

**No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**Ho Hey**

* * *

"Did she ever ask you about me?" Kelly asked. He was flipping through a magazine he found in the waiting room that was doing little to hold his interest.

"Not at first," Tricia cringed as hurt flashed through his eyes. The answer was nothing more than an instinct reaction. It wasn't her intention to hurt Kelly, but it was the truth and she'd made a promise to herself to be truthful to him and her family from here on out.

"She didn't really know she was missing anything. I didn't have a lot of friends with kids…that's college for you. Then she went to school and the questions started….'Why does Maddy have a daddy?' 'Why does Joey have _two_ mommies?'"

Kelly barked out a laugh at the last part, no doubt considering how he would have handled that situation—his friendship with Shay at the forefront of his mind. Tricia smiled softly, happy she had decided to take a diplomatic approach in explaining the many different kinds of families that existed.

Tricia expected K.C.'s questions to subside after a while, but the simple answers about her friends families only fueled her desire to know more about her own. "Then it was 'Do I have a daddy? Where is he?'"

"Uh…What'd you tell her?"

Kelly's brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck. His cautious, hesitant words conveyed the anxiety that was rolling off of him in waves. He was nervous about what Tricia told her. The longer he waited for her response the more scenarios he conjured up, in which, Tricia had turned his innocent little girl against him.

It wouldn't typically be the first conclusion he'd jump to. But knowing she'd believed him to be capable of not only walking away from her and their daughter, but telling Tricia not to have her in the first place. She was crushed, and hating him was the most obvious outlet.

"The truth…." Tricia paused, letting the words settle in; Kelly's downcast eyes and grim expression confirmed that he was thinking the worst of her. "I told her that she has the best daddy in the world…but his job is to help people and they needed him more than we did."

"Tee,"

Tricia shifted uncomfortably in the rigid plastic chair; apprehensive with both the poorly made piece of furniture and the position she'd put herself in.

"I know what you were thinking Kelly," She focused on twisting her hands together so she didn't have to look at him. "I told you before; I had a hard time believing you could be that person. But even if you were that man, I would do anything within my power to make sure _she_ never knew that."

He slid a glance her way. His eyes pierced her skin, causing her entire body to tingle. There was a time she welcome the feelings he ignited in her. His hard stare continued evaluating her as he processed what she'd said. "You really mean that," he finally decided. It wasn't a question; the words hug between them like a weight neither of them could lift. Tricia didn't know what else to say, and suspected from his silence he didn't either.

As the minutes ticked by at a snail's pace, Kelly suspected Tricia was just as uncomfortable as he was. She began turning the plastic hospital bracelet fasten on our daughter's tiny wrist. He recognized the nervous habit; she'd picked up fidgeting as a way to harness anxious energy years ago.

"You didn't actually name her K.C. Casey right?" It was something he'd been wondering about for a while but never found a good time to bring it up.

Tricia snorted at the idea, but didn't say anything. She just continued to twist the hospital band between her delicate fingers, and then in a move Kelly never expected she picked up K.C's arm and placed it across the little girl's torso, allowing him to see the name printed on the strip of plastic.

"You…" He choked. The emotions that took over him were overwhelming. His heart constricted in his chest. He ducked his head to hide the tears that threaten to spill.

"Katherine Casey," He whispered in disbelief. Not only had she remembered, but that after everything she still chose it. "You named her after my mother?"

Tricia shrugged, acting like it wasn't a big deal, but she knew what a big deal it was to him. Kelly suspected she thought he was too drunk that night to remember, but he wasn't.

They had been together about six months when the fifth anniversary of his mother's death crept up on him. Benny was off drowning his sorrows in some bar, and Kelly….well after a particularly long day of work, which he'd hoped would keep his mind off of the dooming date, wasn't much better. After ignoring her calls all day, Tricia found him secluded in his dark apartment with a bottle of whiskey.

She didn't care what he wanted; Tricia would have let him drink himself into oblivion, but she refused to let Kelly be alone. She even got him to talk about his mom, which he hadn't done since before her death.

Tricia had met Katherine several times as their families were together a lot after Matt and Kelly both joined 51. She was too young at the time to talk with Katherine about anything other than superficial teenage girl stuff, like make-up, school, and shopping but they'd gotten along well. She loved listening to Kelly talk about her, the love and admiration he felt for her was always evident in his voice.

They sat in silence for a bit longer until Matt interrupted. He'd come to check on his niece. Seeing Kelly sitting across from his sister put him in protective big brother mode.

Kelly glanced back and forth between the siblings. Sensing they needed some time alone, he told her he was going to get a cup of coffee, offering to bring her back one as well. She declined. He nodded, pausing for a moment to meet Matt's steel expression as he exited.

Matt sat down.

"You don't have to treat him like that,"

Really. Matt leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. It shouldn't have surprised him, she always protected Severide. It was second nature to her. Why? He would never understand.

"I asked you if she was his. You looked me in the eye and lied to me—on more than one occasion."

"I know."

Tricia had the decency to look ashamed by her actions. "I'm sorry."

Matt started in on a tirade about how irresponsible Kelly was. How he couldn't believe she could just forgive him for walking away. For how stupid _she was_ for constantly protecting him. How he was going to break her heart again. And worse K.C.'s heart too.

He had every right to be angry. Tricia knew that, which was why she sat and listened to it. But as soon as he started in on Severide she stopped him right in his tracks. Tricia told him all about Darden and the role he played in their situation.

"It doesn't excuse me lying to you. I know that."

Tricia pet K.C.'s hair softly. It was a distraction. She was avoiding Matt's suffocating gaze.

"Telling you she's Kelly's—telling anyone she's Kelly's—it made it real. It made everything he said real. It meant he didn't want us. It was easier to lie, pretend she wasn't his. It wasn't about protecting Kelly. It was about protecting me."

Matt sighed, finally understanding where Tricia was coming from.

"You want to be mad at me? Fine. I deserve that. But don't take this out on Kelly. We've both made mistakes, and he's lost the first five years of his daughter's life. He'll never get that back."

Matt crossed the room, engulfing his sister into his arms. He may not have liked her decisions, but he now understood the reasoning behind them. They're family and he'd stand behind her. Family is something Matt holds in the highest regard. A tight family stays together, in the good times and the bad. His sister needed him. He'd let her down before. He wasn't going to make that mistake again.

While the Casey siblings were making up with each other, elsewhere in the hospital Kelly and his best friend were doing the same.

* * *

_(Several weeks later...)_

"K.C.!" Tricia yelled in exasperation, tugging at the roots of her hair with one hand as the other reached for the doorknob.

The little girl was testing her mother's patience as Tricia tried to get her ready so they weren't late. The interruption of someone showing up on her door step, wasn't helping things either. Tricia swung the door open to find the one person who could quite possibly make getting K.C. ready all the more difficult.

"Kelly,"

She leaned against the door jam in equal parts exhausted and curious. It wasn't uncommon for Kelly to stop by in the weeks since K.C. was released from the hospital, but he never did it without calling her first. That combined with the fact that Tricia knew he'd just gotten off of a 24 hour shift had her questioning why he was at her door.

"Hey," he scrubbed a hand over his face, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. Tricia could see how worn-out he was in everything from his posture to the bags forming under his eyes. It was apparent he's had a rough day.

"Daddy!" K.C. squealed as she raced through the first floor of the home and right into her father's arms.

Tricia stood back watching them bond in a special way that only a father and daughter could. She had to give him credit, for as tried as she knew he was he refused to let K.C. see it. He swooped her into his arms cradling her close and giving her a big smile as she rattled on about her day.

"I wanna wear my princess heels, but mama won't let me. She says dat I gotta wear da uggies but not da pink ones. Can I wear da pink ones daddy? Pleasssse?"

Tricia roll her eyes at her daughter pleading as she followed them into the kitchen. Kelly shot her an amused smirk over the little girl's head.

Kelly placed K.C. on her feet, squatting in front of her so he was at her eye level. "You gotta listen mommy Case, you know that. Now go get your shoes."

It killed him to not give into everything she wanted, but Tricia had done a great job raising their child thus far and he trusted her judgment, so what she says goes. K.C. scrunched her nose up, not liking the answer she was given. Kelly chuckled, giving her a soft pat on the butt as she pranced out of the kitchen.

Kelly leaned against the counter, watching as Tricia grabbed two water bottles from the fridge.

"I'm sorry for just dropping in on you like this," he apologized as he accepted the bottle of water she offered.

Tricia shrugged off his apology. Although she was shocked by his surprise visit, she wasn't upset about it. Kelly agreed to work out a custody agreement between the two and not though a court. So really she had no right to complain.

"You're welcome here anytime Kelly, you know that."

Tricia's head snapped up at the sound of clacking heels on the wood floor.

"Katherine Casey," she scolded through gritted teeth, intercepting the rambunctious girl just as she entered the kitchen.

"What did I tell you about wearing those shoes on the wood floors? And where are your boots?"

"But I wanna show daddy my princess shoes," she pouted jutting out her bottom lip.

Tricia had seen that look too many times to fall for it right now, "Take them off now….now go get your boots, and hurry up because we're gonna be late."

Kelly was amused watching her in mommy mode. Tricia was extremely firm with their daughter but never harsh or aggravated with the little girl. He had a feeling that even when she was at her wits end, Tricia always tried to keep her cool in front of K.C.

K.C. begrudgingly handed over the sparkly pink shoes, skipping out of the room to finally do what she was told.

"You can thank Shay and Dawson for these," she said sarcasm dripping from her voice as she placed the offending accessory on the counter.

"Rough day?" If you had told Kelly a few weeks ago that leaving with a four year old could be more draining than a double shift at the firehouse, he would of laughed, but now he happily understood why people say children suck the life out of you.

"She's been a terror lately….I guess that's what I get for her skipping the terrible two's." Tricia always thought she gotten off easy, K.C. had been a relatively easy going child, but lately she'd been testing limits and throwing temper tantrums.

Kelly didn't respond, Tricia wasn't complaining—just venting, and he could sense that all she needed in that moment was for someone to listen. She was used to do things on her own, and even though she was no longer in this by herself it was going to take time for her to get used to that.

"What about you? Rough day?" she asked using his own words against him.

Kelly could feel her analyzing his every move. He didn't know how to tell her about the day he had. How they'd been called to a warehouse fire where a group of squatters were trapped inside. They'd been able to save everyone except a little boy and his mother. The loss of the two lives put a weight on the firemen that only losing a civilian could, especially when it's so close to Christmas. Kelly didn't want to burden Tricia with the emotions that were weighing him down, but the only thing he could think of as he left the firehouse was seeing her and K.C.

"I ready now mama," K.C. said as she bounced back into the kitchen, this time wearing the right shoes.

Tricia grabbed the small coat off the kitchen chair, kneeling down to help K.C. put it on. "You comin' too daddy?"

Tricia tried to hide her discomfort with K.C.'s question. Although, K.C. had been spending a lot of time with Kelly lately, the three of them rarely spent time together as a family. Kelly could sense Tricia's discomfort the one time they'd all been together for a holiday play at K.C.'s school. Her father had an important meeting and couldn't make it, and her mother was still taking it easy after getting released from the hospital. Matt, Gabriella, and Leslie were also supposed to be there, but a busy day at the firehouse kept them from sneaking away.

The three of them being a family was something Tricia wanted more than anything. But she wasn't the same person who left Chicago five years ago and neither was Kelly. She was only trying to protect herself and her daughter from getting their hearts broken. Kelly understood that, so after that day he kept it to the five or ten minutes he would see her before picking K.C. up or dropping her off.

Kelly smiled softly at his daughter, "Not today baby, you and mommy have fun though."

"I'm sorry," he said barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to interrupt your night." Tricia nodded as she stepped away, putting her on own coat as Kelly leaned down to pick K.C. up. He gave her a hug and kiss, promising to see her soon.

Tricia followed him to the door. He stopped in the foyer for a moment twisting his hands, the sad expression on his face was enough to break her heart. It was clear there was something he wanted to say, but he never did.

She stood in the doorway watching Kelly pull his leather jacket tighter around his body as he made his way to his car. He pulled open the driver's door pausing between the door and the frame of the car. He looked up at her one more time, offering a small smile.

"Hey! Serveride!" she called from her place against the door jamb just as he dipped his head to disappear into the black charger.

Kelly halted his motions, his curious eyes meeting hers. Tricia shrugged letting out a sigh, "You still a Blackhawks fan?"

The lop-sided smirk that took over his face gave her his answer.

"We goin' to the Badhouse!" K.C. boasted holding up her little fists and trying to give her father an intimidating look.

"The Madhouse," they both corrected at the same time laughing.

Kelly got into the passenger seat of Tricia's Range Rover as she buckled K.C. into her booster seat. He wasn't sure what was going to happen in the future but he knew that her inviting him to join them was a step in the right direction.


	23. Tied Together with a Smile

**I know it's been a while, but here's the next chapter. Hope you will find it worth the wait **

**Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and support it's very much appreciated!**

**No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**Chapter 21: ****Tied Together with a Smile**

* * *

Tricia's knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel in frustration. If Kelly asked one more question she was going to kick his ass out of her car.

Yes, she knew there were only two tickets and that they had several hours until the puck dropped. She was also well aware of which gate she needed to go to for parking. Shocking as it may seem to Kelly, this was not Tricia's first Blackhawks game. It isn't even the first game she's attending with him. Surely he remembered one of the many times they'd trekked up to the United Center while they were together.

"Are you sure you should be…" Kelly abruptly shut his mouth as Tricia leveled him with a glare. He lifted his hands in surrender as he sunk further into the passenger seat. Message received.

Kelly carried his daughter on his hip, dutifully following behind the girl's mother as she weaved in and out of the crowds that converged in the hallway. She was clearly in her element, charming everyone they came in contact with.

She joked, she smiled; everyone from security guards to the Blackhawks Chairman of the Board were taken with her. From where Kelly stood, he could see why. Tricia was smart and confident. She wasn't the girl who left him five years ago. She was no longer unsure of herself and timid. She didn't need him or her brother to protect her. Tricia had grown up and she could handle herself.

Kelly was both proud and scared of her independence. For the first time, he had to face the realization that she may not need him anymore.

"Hi boys," Tricia smiled making her way towards a group of Blackhawks players kicking around a soccer ball in the hall way.

"TEE!" A voice boomed amid general greetings of "hey" and "what's up".

Kelly stood slack jawed as he watched one of his favorite players, Patrick Sharp, pick Tricia up off her feet as he gave her a giant bear hug.

"Quite a game you had the other night," Tricia quirked her lips as she stepped away from the hockey player. "Took you long enough to get your head out of your ass."

Sharp raised his eyebrows, but he didn't seem insulted. In fact, it appeared everyone in the hallway was more amused than offended. "Ah! Come on, the fans love it. It's not a good game if there's not a little suspense."

"Bullshit. The fans love a blowout."

"They're not the only ones,"

"Hi Stan," Tricia smiled as the Blackhawks General Manager made his way towards them.

"Your boy's in the dining room. We can't use the suites today because they're going to start filling up, my office is free or those meeting rooms down the hall from the locker room—one of those should be good."

"You're not gonna sit in?" Stan had been in every one of their meetings thus far. It might have bothered some agents, but Tricia never let it get to her. It was a boys club and she had to prove herself.

Stan brushed her off with a wave of his hand while tapping away on his cell phone. "You can handle it."

Tricia nodded trying to contain her excitement. To some it would look like he was brushing her off. His quick, dismissive motion could be read as indifferent. Tricia knew better; it would be more concerning if he insisted on being in every meeting. This meant he trusted not only her, but also that she would do right by his players. Excitement cursed through her veins. But jumping up and down like a three-year old would hardly look professional.

Kelly stifled a groan as Tricia bit her lower lip. Her eyes were bright with eagerness as she looked at him. It reminded him of the carefree girl who changed his world. She took a few more minutes to discuss things with Stan and some of the others players who were lingering in the hall.

When Kelly realized they were early for business purposes he'd hoped he would at least have his daughter to keep him company while Tricia was occupied. He was thrilled to get the chance to share his love of the Blackhawks with her. It wasn't necessary though, Tricia succeeded in making their daughter a huge fan. Kelly suspected Matt had also played a role in that as well. It seemed the only person more popular than Tricia was his daughter.

As Kelly watched K.C. entertain the players with ease, it became clear this was not the first time Tricia brought her to the arena. Tricia nodded, indicating for Kelly get K.C. and follow her down the corridor.

He stood off to the side as she and Patrick Kane discussed charity games and endorsement deals. Looking around gave him mixed emotions. He was glad Tricia and K.C. seemed so happy, but at the same time it scared him. Tricia had a good job; a job that surrounded them with a lot of famous and wealthy people. She was just starting out and already she had several high profile clients. If she kept it up, which he had no doubt she would, she would be one of the best sports agents in Chicago. She will be able to send K.C. to the best schools, put her in the best camps, and buy her the best clothes. Kelly made a good living when he only had to take care of himself, but raising a family on a fireman's salary wasn't easy. He's seen the struggles Hermann and his wife have gone through. Even supplementing his salary with working on boats wasn't enough to compare to what Tricia was making.

Kelly suddenly felt inadequate. His brooding wasn't lost on Tricia. Even in the mist of contracts, autographs, and schedules she could tell something was off with Kelly. She gave him several questioning looks as she caught his eye, but he kept brushing her off. However, it was his brash attitude towards her client that pissed her off.

Kelly barely said two words and Patrick was nothing but nice. He's even given K.C. the jersey he'd promised her. He hadn't exactly been thrilled about the Towes one she'd been sporting the first time she'd met him. It was courtesy of her Uncle Matt, and something Tricia hadn't even thought about until Patrick mentioned it.

K.C. bounced up and down excited to put on her new, signed sweater. She also marveled over the bag of swag Patrick gave her. There were pajamas, t-shirts, hats, sweat suits, key chains. Anything Blackhawks you could think of Patrick had gotten for her.

Kelly scowled in the corner, barely acknowledging their daughter as she showed off her gear.

What. The. Hell.

"Really?" Tricia asked trying to brush off Kelly's attitude. She'd deal with him later. Right now she needed to address her client and his extravagant gifts, even if he didn't have to pay for the merchandise.

"Hey, we're not the only Chicago team she has an in with...but I'm gonna make sure we're her favorite." He shrugged like it was no big deal.

Suddenly it all made sense. The first time Patrick met K.C. she went on and on about the Bears and all of the cool stuff she got from Jay. Tricia never showed a preference to any of her clients as far as they were concerned she made sure each one believed they were her favorite. But her daughter was another story. A four-year-old could hardly keep a neutral demeanor. Her favorite was determined by who gave her the coolest stuff. Something Patrick was obviously playing into.

* * *

"Mind explaining what that was back there?" Tricia whispered after they were settled in their seats.

K.C. had her nose pressed up against the glass, fascinated as the players took to the ice for warm ups. Tricia didn't want to make a scene in front of their daughter but she was pissed at Kelly. Patrick is her client, keeping him happy is essential to her job. Kelly's less than friendly attitude was completely uncalled for and could have not only gotten her into a lot of trouble, but more outbursts like that could cause her to lose her client.

There was a time when Kelly's temperamental personality would have been her first concern. She'd grown up in their time apart. She refused to revolve her life around a guy. If Kelly couldn't accept her career than screw him. It's not like he had the most ideal job either. 24 hours on, 48 hours off, never knowing if one of the calls he went out on was going to be his last. Tricia wanted Kelly in her life, and there was a time she would have given up anything to have him there. But things changed. She had a daughter to look out for. She wanted him in her life, but she could survive without him.

Kelly thought about lying to her or denying his actions altogether. It would be a useless effort though, Tricia would see right through him. She always did.

"I just, I don't know where I fit in your life…in her life." He nodded towards their daughter. Leaning forward, Kelly pinched the bridge of his nose. Tricia recognized this as a sign of frustration.

"Kel," Tricia sighed placing a hand on his back, rubbing his shoulder softly.

He slid a glance her way. "Forget it Tee."

She watched him with careful eyes, hoping he would tell her what he was thinking. The conversation abruptly ended as the buzzer rang throughout the arena, indicating the start of the first period.

Kelly sat back in his seat. Tricia watched as halfway through the game, he placed K.C. on his lap pointing out different things throughout the game. It tugged at her heart strings as she watched them laugh and bond. Several times Tricia pulled out her phone to snap pictures of the two of them.

* * *

Kelly carried his daughter into the house and up to her bedroom. It had been a long night, so it wasn't surprising that she could barely keep her eyes open on the ride back to Tricia's home.

Tricia followed him into K.C.'s bedroom and changed her into her pajama's before leaving. Bedtime was usually one of her favorite times. She hated to miss it, but she knew Kelly needed this. His words from earlier were haunting her.

"_I don't know where I fit in your life…in her life."_

Truth is, Tricia didn't know where he fit into her life either. But there wasn't a question as to where he fit into K.C.'s. He is her father. And there little girl absolutely adores him. It was one of the reasons she's so hesitant to define where they stand. It wasn't just her heart on the line this time.

Tricia slid a beer across the counter to Kelly as he took a seat on a stool. She took a long pull from her own bottle. She planted her palms against the side of the counter.

"You're her father. That's where you fit in her life. No one is going to take that away from you."

Kelly picked at the label on the bottle. "I'm a firefighter…I don't make the kind of money you guys are used to. I'm not going to be able to send her to the best private schools or buy out a store of Blackhawks stuff."

Her eyes widened. Then she slammed her bottle onto the counter. "Don't you ever question becoming a firefighter…it's what you love. It's what you've always loved."

Kelly lifted his gaze to hers. The conviction in her voice tugging at his heart. He didn't respond. Instead he opted to take another long pull, this time emptying the bottle.

"You think she cares about the kind of car you drive or the clothes you can buy her? She's four Kelly, she doesn't know a Range Rover from a mini-van. And if she had her way she'd be wearing a pink tutu everywhere."

His eyes once again shifted to the floor. Tricia could tell she was losing him. She walked around the counter, stepping between his legs. She cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. "She doesn't need you to be rich and famous. She just needs you to be her dad. I promise you, that's enough."

"What about you?" He tugged at the ends of her hair that was cascading over her shoulders. "I promised I would take care of you too. I can't keep you in designer clothes and fancy cars."

He looked so sad, so vulnerable. It caused the walls securely guarding her heart to crumble a little at a time. She rubbed her thumbs softly over his cheekbones. The day old stubble prickling her fingertips. "I don't need you to take care of me."

"What is it you need than?"

"Right now, I need you to be my friend. I need us to figure out how co-parent and be partners, because if there's ever a chance…."

Her voice trailed off, but Kelly knew what she was getting at. If they ever wanted to have another shot at a relationship with each other, that had to be their foundation. They couldn't just pick up where they'd let off. Too much had changed.

He gripped her wrists bringing her palms to his mouth, planting a soft kiss on each one. Standing, he pressed his lips to her forehead, giving her shoulders a soft squeeze before letting himself out of the house.

Nothing else needed to be said. She may not have realized it but she'd just renewed his spirit. She'd given him the hope he was looking for. He would give her the time she needed. He'd wait as long as she needed if it meant he was going to get her back one day. She was worth it. Their family was worth it.


End file.
